hea Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 If an ex wanted you back, they would just say, right?
TaraMaiden Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Probably.... It depends how confident they felt about your willingness to return. In any case, i'm of the opinion that this is a bad idea. Re-connecting shouldn't be done until people have had a chance to heal from the first break, and are both willing to address personal issues which caused the split in the first place. Papering over the cracks is pointless. The whole damn wall needs to come down and be re-built. 1
Philosoraptor Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 They would make it abundantly clear. There wouldn't be a second thought in your mind on what their intentions were. Someone who regretted their decision would make grand efforts to win back your affection and right their wrong. On the other hand someone who wanted to either boost their own ego or use you for emotional/physical boosts would give you just enough to keep you from moving on so they could use you when they needed the boost. 1
mammasita Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Don't be fooled - Sometimes they say it just to hear the sound of their voices.
Author hea Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 They would make it abundantly clear. QUOTE] good! no more sitting around wondering what this means/that means. At least I don't have to wonder anymore. Its a never, until he says so. Nothing I can do will make him come back, its all up to him and what he wants.
Author hea Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 my ex has text me after three weeks NC, just seeing how I was and what i'd been up to (we've been split for four months). Hope is filling my head and I just want to make sure that if he wanted to give it another shot he would just say, right? I know im jumping to conclusions, but the way he spoke about us after we had split, was like I had broken us up when it was his decision. (he said he no longer fancied me)
Author hea Posted February 6, 2014 Author Posted February 6, 2014 Background: I was with him two years (I am two years older then him) he left me for someone else. When he came back he said it was because I had talked about getting a house together and he got scared and went for the first girl he met. I knew commitment was an issue for him, and the fact all his mates were single and he felt like he was missing out. I took him back and we dated for 10 months. He went straight from me to her and then her to me without any time being single. Big mistake! when he split up with me the second time, for three months after he texted me saying he still loved me, missed me, didn't understand why we didn't work, had a future planned for us, but all the while not wanting to be with me. Still sticking to the fact he wants to be single and he didn't fancy me anymore. I had never once initiated contact, and didn't spill my heart to him. at one point I told him I had been on a date and he replied saying 'its just hit me that we are not getting back together'. I mean talk about being a headf**k. Anyway we then went NC for three weeks, I had decided enough was enough, and I think so had he. You cant continue to say all this stuff without it going somewhere. Its been really easy and has helped. He text me for the first time on Monday and it was nice chit chat, asking what ive been up to etc. Anyway I cut the convo short as my battery was dying. I had looked on whatsapp for the first time in ages and noticed he had sent one at 2am in the morning on Saturday (clearly was out drunk) does this mean he is thinking about me? I have not contacted him since and don't intend to. If you were the dumper and said you wanted to be friends, you wouldn't actually mean it would you? I know people only say this to be nice, but they don't mean keeping in touch on a regular basis surely? I have never been the dumper so would not know.
Discover Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 In my tiny experience I can say that "We can be friends" depends on your relationship before you actually got to love each other. If you were good friends it means he wants to keep you close like before but not too close and if you weren't then probably he is just trying to not hurt you. In both situation whatsoever we all know that being friends does not work, no matter how much you want it and he/she thinks of you as much as you think about calling someone when you feel bad. I don't know if anyone believes his own words when he says "We can/Let's be friends"..but that's my oppinion
CelticGibson Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Be careful here. It's not what they SAY that should tell you whether they want back in or not. It's how they ACT that will prove it without a shadow of a doubt. People can say anything and not have to work hard for it. Words are cheap, actions are not. Watch what they do, not what they say... 1
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