Moving on

[bubblesbursted]

So it has been 10 days since the D-day and its not really getting better. There are ups and downs (which I have accepted as a part of grieving process) but the only set back is that wherever I look in my pad, it reminds me of him. Now I dont really have that much finances to re-do my apartment and all. But I just want this feeling to go away. I know and have accepted that he is gone and there is no coming back.

 

I have gone NC since a week. And I really want to get busy do something. Can anyone give me any suggestions for moving on?

 

I dont know if its a good idea or not but maybe I was thinking I should relocate to a different state or something and start working to keep my mind off him. Dont get me wrong, there are many opportunities here but I dont think I will be able to get over him if I stay here.

 

Anything you guys specifically did to move on? Please share..

[RDawg]

Staying busy and working with your hands has been a good distraction for me. Maybe paint your pad a different colour if you can? Do you have access to a garden where you can get your hands in the dirt? Very therapeutic.

 

I don't think making major decisions like moving to another city should be taken in your current frame of mind. Maybe give it a month or two and see how you feel then.

[bubblesbursted]

Thank you for the idea! But I dont really have access to any garden. I have been trying to keep myself busy. Tried reading and am looking for jobs but this home just reminds me of him. I was thinking maybe relocating would help. I dont really know what else to do since my Uni is off right now.

[hea]

the best thing to do is accept it. Accept its going to hurt, accept your going to be thinking about him ALL the time, accept your going to be reminded of him where ever you turn.

 

 

Acceptance, that this is not going away for a while will curb some of the pain. You wont feel guilty with yourself that you cant get over it/move on.

 

 

give yourself some time to settle down before making big decisions. 10 days is nothing. If your still wanting to move maybe 6 months down the line then think about it. its said to take half the time of what you were with the person to get over them. So if you were together two years you could be feeling like this (but not as bad as right now) for one.

 

 

can you start a diary? if your struggling sleeping, (I don't know if you are) try writing in a diary what your feeling before you try to sleep. it helps with trying to express yourself.

 

 

People don't realise sometime that breakups are a trauma to your emotions. Its serious stuff your going through.

[bubblesbursted]

the best thing to do is accept it. Accept its going to hurt, accept your going to be thinking about him ALL the time, accept your going to be reminded of him where ever you turn.

 

 

Acceptance, that this is not going away for a while will curb some of the pain. You wont feel guilty with yourself that you cant get over it/move on.

 

I accept this. I have accepted this is done deal and I know there is no coming back.

 

give yourself some time to settle down before making big decisions. 10 days is nothing. If your still wanting to move maybe 6 months down the line then think about it. its said to take half the time of what you were with the person to get over them. So if you were together two years you could be feeling like this (but not as bad as right now) for one.

 

This specific line is what has been haunting me since the break-up. Half the time is alot and I dont want to grieve all this time, I want to reclaim my life. I want to forget him. 6 months..Yea I guess maybe i am being impulsive at the moment.

 

And also, half the time. Does that mean my ex would also be facing the same trauma? Because he moved on to another girl in a week.

 

can you start a diary? if your struggling sleeping, (I don't know if you are) try writing in a diary what your feeling before you try to sleep. it helps with trying to express yourself.

 

 

People don't realise sometime that breakups are a trauma to your emotions. Its serious stuff your going through.

 

I have been blogging my feelings. It kind of takes my mind of things. And yea nights are pretty hard but I am coping on. And thank you! It indeed is a roller coaster of emotions.

[hea]

 

And also, half the time. Does that mean my ex would also be facing the same trauma? Because he moved on to another girl in a week.

 

 

really? what an idiot. thats no respect for you for him to do that. my ex left me for someone else, it is rubbish but we have to dust it off and get on with it. It wont be the same for him, guys take a while to settle and he probably hasn't realised yet whats going on. He'll just be thrilled at the moment, because its all new. Give it a while and then it might hit him. Women are quicker on the emotions front.

 

 

I cant really remember what I did now to get over it. Spent a lot of time crying I know that! Hung out with friends and said yes to every invite. I went to the gym a lot too, just to beat out some energy, and it releases endorphins. Bonus!

 

 

I don't know if this is any help as every situation is different. But I was with him for just over two years and it took me a good six months to get settled in my emotions, and over it within a year. Although just after the year was out he came back, so sort of had to restart.

[k10k]

And I really want to get busy do something. Can anyone give me any suggestions for moving on?

 

Nice attitude bubbles! Like the others said, don't make any huge life decisions right now, they'll be based on emotions rather than logic.

 

Getting busy will definitely help, what are your interests? Anything you've ever wanted to learn? Now would be a great time to take up a new class or hobby... yoga is great! You could also volunteer, or have a look on meetup and see what groups there are in your area.

 

Also, with regards to your pad, move some furniture around, go shopping for bargains, maybe some new bed linen, candles, cushions, get your creative juices flowing, maybe make some art? Anything that symbolizes this new chapter in your life.. the small things do help.

[bubblesbursted]

really? what an idiot. thats no respect for you for him to do that. my ex left me for someone else, it is rubbish but we have to dust it off and get on with it. It wont be the same for him, guys take a while to settle and he probably hasn't realised yet whats going on. He'll just be thrilled at the moment, because its all new. Give it a while and then it might hit him. Women are quicker on the emotions front.

 

 

I cant really remember what I did now to get over it. Spent a lot of time crying I know that! Hung out with friends and said yes to every invite. I went to the gym a lot too, just to beat out some energy, and it releases endorphins. Bonus!

 

 

I don't know if this is any help as every situation is different. But I was with him for just over two years and it took me a good six months to get settled in my emotions, and over it within a year. Although just after the year was out he came back, so sort of had to restart.

 

Well ya it was a big blow. I mean in a week to cry out loud!

I was thinking of working out but the entire day I am free. I want to do something just get busy. And yea crying is a vital part of my day . Ugh this feeling just sucks.

 

Nice attitude bubbles! Like the others said, don't make any huge life decisions right now, they'll be based on emotions rather than logic.

 

Getting busy will definitely help, what are your interests? Anything you've ever wanted to learn? Now would be a great time to take up a new class or hobby... yoga is great! You could also volunteer, or have a look on meetup and see what groups there are in your area.

 

Also, with regards to your pad, move some furniture around, go shopping for bargains, maybe some new bed linen, candles, cushions, get your creative juices flowing, maybe make some art? Anything that symbolizes this new chapter in your life.. the small things do help.

 

Thank you!

 

I like doing something creative every now and then! Nice idea with the furniture thing. I will definetly do that

[mea_M]

I'd say grieve it first. Then accept it's over with. Acceptance is key to moving forward. But, do this at you're own pace in you're own special way. Keeping busy by plenty of healthy distractions helps too. Good luck.

 

Mea