Scarlett_girl Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 hey all! I am currently stuck in the "no action' zone with a guy..it's pretty obvious we both like each other, we are constantly going out for coffee, lunch, hanging at each other's houses etc etc..it's really casual and fun..we have a blast together...thing is we also have alot of sexual tension when we are together, probably cuz we have yet to kiss! so now we are stuck in this hybrid relationship..cuz we are kind of involved but not really..i've never been in this situation before, usually i'm in a relationship or i'm not,so this time I'm not too sure what i should do! it's not that I want a serious relationship(though I do really like him, i have no time for a serious relationship) how do I make it known I want a bit more than what we have?? ie: kissing, fooling around relationship!!! but not merely "friends with benefits" argh!! do i make any sense?!?!?! HELP!
alphamale Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Originally posted by Scarlett_girl argh!! do i make any sense?!?!?! HELP! ...NO, you don't make any sense. Just suck the guys kock for christ's sake
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 ...NO, you don't make any sense. Just suck the guys kock for christ's sake Just make the move. Just do it. I agree with alpha..But maybe ask first??
Merin Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Just something to consider here.. Unless this guy is really shy or insecure.. IMO if he was down for more than a friendship, he would have already attempted to let that be known to you.. I could be wrong.. but honestly I would think that after spending so much time together he would have given you SOME indication that he has an interest in something more romantic.. Hmm.. probably just me..
alphamale Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Unless this guy is really shy or insecure.. IMO if he was down for more than a friendship, he would have already attempted to let that be known to you.. I could be wrong Hmm.. probably just me.. You are wrong MERIN, cause lots of younger guys are shy and insecure. Actually probalby like 70 or 80% of 'em.
Merin Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale You are wrong MERIN, cause lots of younger guys are shy and insecure. Actually probalby like 70 or 80% of 'em. Okay.. like I said, this is MY opinion.
Author Scarlett_girl Posted January 16, 2005 Author Posted January 16, 2005 he is very shy, that is what I like about him..he's sweet and shy. and yes Merin I do agree that he should make a move or something but I know he is interested in me as more than a friend because I have planety of guy friend and I know the difference between hanging with a guy friend and the way he and I hang together!! well anyways thanks all for the advice! it hink i just needed to rant...i'll see what happens monday..
Author Scarlett_girl Posted January 16, 2005 Author Posted January 16, 2005 on a side note..have any of you ever been in this situation??
alphamale Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Originally posted by Scarlett_girl on a side note..have any of you ever been in this situation?? Yes, I have a few times with I was in college, like almost 20 yrs ago. There were a # of gurls that liked me an flirtied with me but I did not have the self-esteem in myself and did not know how to read their signals. I thought they just wnated to be be friends but found out later that they wanted a relationship with me. And, yes, I was very shy with girls at that age. Just never thought there would be a girl that liked me back then.
Author Scarlett_girl Posted January 16, 2005 Author Posted January 16, 2005 so basically alphamale..your advice would be for me to suck it up and kiss him or something?!?! you know..i've always been gutsy but this time i cant seem to muster up the courage even when he and I are hugging and I know all I'd have to do is tilt my head up!!
alphamale Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Originally posted by Scarlett_girl so basically alphamale..your advice would be for me to suck it up and kiss him or something?!?! you know..i've always been gutsy but this time i cant seem to muster up the courage even when he and I are hugging and I know all I'd have to do is tilt my head up!! yes, you need to make take the bull by the horns. a couple drinks would help if you are over 21.
Author Scarlett_girl Posted January 16, 2005 Author Posted January 16, 2005 i'm only 20....its ok..next time we are alone either has his place or mine i'll just do it.. i have to..i'm getting too frustrated!! lol!
Author Scarlett_girl Posted January 16, 2005 Author Posted January 16, 2005 we're not really big drinkers..big coffee drinkers yes but not alchohol drinkers
Merin Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Originally posted by Spider-Man Maybe both get drunk and then kiss Thats horrible advice.. If you like this guy Scarlett, then tell him you like him. Let him know you like hanging out with him, and would like to see if there could be more... COMMUNICATION.. yeah, people liked to be talked to.
kanga Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Just read through my past posts -- I'm stuck in that limbo-y stage. And I'm just as baffled because I've never been in this stage for so long in my life. It's always been relationship or no. Make the move. Definitely do it.
Sukotto Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Going for the kiss is the best way to find out and being drunk is very important. What else are you meant to say if they ask "What you doing that for?"? If you've had some alcohol then a quick "Sorry its the alcohol" and then you take it as a clear signal that they aren't interested. Though if anyone has some excuses for kissing someone when they dont feel the same please speak up, I'd love to have some backups.
Merin Posted January 17, 2005 Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by Sukotto Going for the kiss is the best way to find out and being drunk is very important. What else are you meant to say if they ask "What you doing that for?"? If you've had some alcohol then a quick "Sorry its the alcohol" and then you take it as a clear signal that they aren't interested. Though if anyone has some excuses for kissing someone when they dont feel the same please speak up, I'd love to have some backups. So let's say this is done... They get drunk, make out.. whatever.. Then the next day she can wonder and he can wonder (yeah once again) was he/she just drunk and kissed me, or does he/she ACTUALLY like me I've seen a million threads on this... we got drunk and this happend and now I don't know if they really like me OR if they were just drunk... how do I find out... Sorry, but IMO that is just lame.
alphamale Posted January 17, 2005 Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I've seen a million threads on this... we got drunk and this happend and now I don't know if they really like me OR if they were just drunk... how do I find out... Sorry, but IMO that is just lame. yeah but if alcohol is NOT introduced into the equation the they'll both be collecting social security before someone makes the first move.... oh sorry, social security will not exist by then.
Sukotto Posted January 17, 2005 Posted January 17, 2005 Merin i never thought of it that way. Though I was suggesting that maybe some alcohol induced kissing and hten maybe a discussion about their feelings? Got any real good excuses then for when you kiss someone and they then act like you just commited the most terrible act possible?
Merin Posted January 17, 2005 Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale yeah but if alcohol is NOT introduced into the equation the they'll both be collecting social security before someone makes the first move.... oh sorry, social security will not exist by then. Okay.. must be me.. She says she is comfortable with this guy, they hang out all the time, she says she knows he has an interest in her but is a little shy... She never said she was shy... just seems that maybe she is fearful that he won't be down for it, so she doesn't want to ask.. Adding alcohol into this is IMO stupid. He obviously likes her enough to want to spend his time with her, and if or when there is to be something happen between the 2 of them, I feel pretty sure that Scarlett would rather it be because she knows this guy acutally likes her and has a real interest in her then he drank to freaking much. Whatever.... This is MY opinion. I think Scarlett has enough going on for her that she doesn't need to get some dude drunk to get a date, or an idea IF he's into her.
Merin Posted January 17, 2005 Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by Sukotto Merin i never thought of it that way. Though I was suggesting that maybe some alcohol induced kissing and hten maybe a discussion about their feelings? Got any real good excuses then for when you kiss someone and they then act like you just commited the most terrible act possible? I just believe that alcohol shouldn't be used as a means to trick someone, or make someone behave in a way they might not normally behave. I have heard and seen a lot of people who made big mistakes they regretted a lot when they drank to much.. and yeah that includes hooking up with people they might not have due to liquor... they don't call it "beer goggles" for nothing.. Got any real good excuses or reasons why some people get trashed, go home with someone they might not have otherwise only to wake up next to a nightmare and want to chew thier arm off RATHER THAN wake up the troll next to them?
alphamale Posted January 17, 2005 Posted January 17, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I just believe that alcohol shouldn't be used as a means to trick someone, or make someone behave in a way they might not normally behave. I have heard and seen a lot of people who made big mistakes they regretted a lot when they drank to much.. and yeah that includes hooking up with people they might not have due to liquor... they don't call it "beer goggles" for nothing.. I'm not saying they should get HAMMERED, just 2 or 3 drinks to relax and create a nice mood and see whut happenz. oh, i just saw my new avatar of J.D. bottle, he he hhe
Sukotto Posted January 17, 2005 Posted January 17, 2005 Yeah I wasn't talking about getting wasted, just a few drinks to remove the edge. I find that if I drink a few gins that I find myself being alot more open, kinda removes some inhibitions. Solution to ending up in bed with ugly people? Either get a friend to check out the uglyness factor on someone before you take them home. If you do end up in bed wake them up and tell them your husband / wife will be back from nightshift soon, not that i've ever used that one before. Though i'm not a big fan of the casual sex thing.
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