markymarc Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 So I've been seeing a girl for a couple months now and thing have been pretty good. But I've noticed the last few weeks that something seems off and I'm not sure whats going on. She just seems off with me(you know when you can tell something just isnt right) and im not sure what it is. I've noticed that recently it seems like she doesn't want to be alone with me. She has started inviting me over only when her family is around(she lives at home). Im not sure what happened for the sudden change but its kind of concerning. I don't mind her family i get along with her brother well but i would like to have some alone time with her at some points like we used to. One example of this that made me wonder was after not seeing each other for a few weeks. She invited me over the day before and i agreed. when i went over to her place i was greeted by her but again it was with a family member there as well. I stayed for supper and things seemed to be good, but when i sat down at the table she cleared the seat beside me and told her dad he could sit there. I didn't mind but found it kind of weird for her not to sit beside me like usual. After we all just kind of hung out till i had to leave. The last time i went out with her i asked a couple days in advance if she wanted to hang out and suggested a movie(this was after not seeing each other for a while) then afterward i assumed we would just hang out maybe get some supper. She agreed and told me it could only be after a certain time which worked perfect for me. The day of i had a few things to do before the movie(work yuck). But i got a text from her during the day saying she had things to do that night and could only be out till before supper. i found it kind of strange to bring up the day of. And with the new time it was pretty much just movie and nothing else. So we went to the movie and everything seemed fine. Normal boyfriend and girlfriend nothing out of the ordinary. after the movie i asked what her plans were for the night and she said she was just gonna hang out with friends and needed to meet them for supper. I was immediately thrown off by this because essentially she had decided to ditch me that morning for her friends after i had asked her to see each other that day. I don't think she noticed but i seen a text she had received and it was asking if i would be joining them for supper. She said no without even asking me. I shrugged it off and took her back home. When i dropped her off i got the normal kiss and the i had a great time. But it left me wondering what was going on The part that confuses me is she doesn't seem to think anything is wrong she just acts normal. She talks about what we are going to do in the future and has not said anything about splitting up.And now im not sure if she is just losing interest? or maybe she is confused? im really not sure what to do at this point.
Philosoraptor Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Have you done anything crazy like talk to her and communicate? Let her know that it would mean a lot to you to have more alone time together. It could be a ton of things. Maybe her parents are enforcing rules (I assume you're young), maybe she doesn't want to seem clingy or insecure, etc. A ton of reasons. Just calmly let her know what you need from the relationship and see what her response is. Again, communicate. Don't guess or make assumptions as it will only leave you insecure, as no stranger here on this forum can do anything but guess. You and her are the only ones who matter in your relationship, so let her know what you need and see what happens from there. 1
Iguanna Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 You have to tell her your concerns. We always have to speak up when something is bothering us. If someone thinks we are whiners cause of this (communicating) then this is a sign they are not bf/gf material. A relationship is about a lot of communicating, talking, explaining. If someone doesn't like it and they just want to have the fun part of a relationship, then off they go. There is a chance that she is playing games with you in order that you don't find her clingy or something. Maybe her family likes you more as her boyfriend than she does. You will never know unless you ask. Simple.
Author markymarc Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 I have brought up my concerns with her but was just given the usual. Everything is good nothing to worry about. But there are a lot of small things she does that implement otherwise. I'm not sure if she doesn't trust me enough to tell me whats going on. Or if she is just playing games as you said. One second things are good and she seems to care. The next she does something that completely throws me off. After a couple months dating why start the games now?
BradJacobs Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Have you done anything crazy like talk to her and communicate? That's just crazy. He should be able to read her mind. 1
Iguanna Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I have brought up my concerns with her but was just given the usual. Everything is good nothing to worry about. But there are a lot of small things she does that implement otherwise. I'm not sure if she doesn't trust me enough to tell me whats going on. Or if she is just playing games as you said. One second things are good and she seems to care. The next she does something that completely throws me off. After a couple months dating why start the games now? Cause we women read on cosmopolitan and other life changing magazines (!!!!) that we shouldn't scare a man away by letting him know that we care about him a lot and .... ooohhh I can't say it .... I'll whisper it .... maybe we even love him...... Talk to her again and tell her that you will tell her immediately when she does something weird so she understands what you are talking about. If she just insists on being normal but nothing changes, well I think you will have done your part.
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