abby_tx Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 This is a weird story. I'm on match.com. This guy, let's call him Bob, messaged me and asked me out. We were trying to figure out if we had any friends in common and I realized Bob's best friend is this guy Tom whom I added to twitter a year ago. Never met the guy, but I always had a huge crush on him. I didn't act on it because I didn't think he was single. So, I messaged Tom on twitter making a joke about knowing his friend Bob. And then we ended up talking for hours online. Conversation has never flowed more easily. We decided to try to meet. So, I feel guilty because Bob and I had lined up a date for this week and now I feel I shouldn't go on it.
Leigh 87 Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Go on both first dates then pick who you want. 1
SunnySide0418 Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I say go for it. Just be honest with OLD guy .. you never know who you'll click with.
Author abby_tx Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 Go on both first dates then pick who you want. hahaha! for real? The new guy told me that I probably shouldn't go out with both of them because they're close friends. And then he told me we should probably tell "Bob" we're hanging out. 1
Barbarossa Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I agree with Leigh date them both then find out who is better
Leigh 87 Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Well it is not that simple as just doing as she pleases and going on a date with the two of them. First of all, if you chat to a guy for a week or more, some guys get it in their head that they quiet fancy the sound of you, and they tend to stick to one girl at a time once they really like the sound of a girl. My boyfriend met me online and wanted to strictly focus on me; he is like that. After the first date, he realised how much he did truly like me; or alternatively, he could have decided against me and continued on his search. Some men want to see things through with one women BEFORE they date other girls. It leaves a bad taste in their mouth when a girl they have hit it off with goes on a date with them AND another guy. They think " man, geez, I really liked talking to her, you would think she would give me a chance before dating others" Where as other guys are totally cool with you going on another scheduled first date. They may or may not be cool with you going on SECOND and third dates with multiple people, since once you are really crazy about someone, you tend to know from the outset. People who are really into each other don't date other people, typically. So this is a tough one. You cannot get away with dating both as they will tell one another about it and act as though you are a too timing whore. Sorry but guys can be unreasonable like this - they have no reason to think that about you, since you are SINGLE and free to do as you choose UNTIL you want to be exclusive with the one man. I would pick honestly. Pick the guy you have the best chemistry with and who gets you the most excited. Tell the other guy you promised their friend a date and you want to see it through. He may think he is your second choice and not want to date you if you don't work out with the first choice. 1
Author abby_tx Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 I just can't in good conscience date both. The first guy messaged me online and I was kinda on the fence about him. We messaged each other back and forth maybe 4-5 times over 2 weeks and had planned on getting dinner. But once I started talking to his friend online, it was like instant chemistry (if you can call it that over IM). I was all giddy inside. We just kept talking and talking. I thought I'd avoid writing the first guy back until AFTER I met his friend. But I'm thinking I should say something now? I don't know. This whole thing is so not me. I am a one crush person and don't like to date around.
Barbarossa Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I would choose the guy you have chemistry with if you must choose only one. Some men don't mind casually dating the same girl my friends and I have done it several times.
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