d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 I have no idea where other responders came up with the idea that he's mad or found another girl. Those lines of thought are ridiculous in a vacuum. You changed the time. No big deal. You apparently had a valid reason for doing that. He said something came up with his brother. At this point you didn't say whether that meant the brother had a medical emergency or got him a last minute invite to the Super Bowl. Your unwillingness to reach out for him because he was the one who cancelled smacks of game playing to me. Since you don't know what happened to the brother, I'd reach out & ask how the brother is. If the brother had a real problem, he'll appreciate the support / caring. If this was an excuse, maybe he'll come clean but at least you will have more info to assess whether you want to reschedule should he ask. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 I have no idea where other responders came up with the idea that he's mad or found another girl. Those lines of thought are ridiculous in a vacuum. You changed the time. No big deal. You apparently had a valid reason for doing that. He said something came up with his brother. At this point you didn't say whether that meant the brother had a medical emergency or got him a last minute invite to the Super Bowl. Your unwillingness to reach out for him because he was the one who cancelled smacks of game playing to me. Since you don't know what happened to the brother, I'd reach out & ask how the brother is. If the brother had a real problem, he'll appreciate the support / caring. If this was an excuse, maybe he'll come clean but at least you will have more info to assess whether you want to reschedule should he ask. Best answer in this entire thread. People freaking out over nothing. Something happened with his FAMILY. I repeat, FAMILY. A 2nd date with a stranger is in no way more urgent than a family matter. He may have very well been okay with you changing the date an hour behind, but from that text to his cancelling, a million things could have happened. Let's say the tables were reversed. Say he pushed back the date and you had something come up with a sister. Had to cancel. Would you feel him being upset over you cancelling be warranted? No, you wouldn't. You had something with a family member. Just leave it alone. He'll get back to you for another date if he wants to see you again. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Best answer in this entire thread. People freaking out over nothing. Something happened with his FAMILY. I repeat, FAMILY. A 2nd date with a stranger is in no way more urgent than a family matter. He may have very well been okay with you changing the date an hour behind, but from that text to his cancelling, a million things could have happened. Let's say the tables were reversed. Say he pushed back the date and you had something come up with a sister. Had to cancel. Would you feel him being upset over you cancelling be warranted? No, you wouldn't. You had something with a family member. Just leave it alone. He'll get back to you for another date if he wants to see you again. Yeah, that's what even I am saying that wait for him to get back. If you want you can reach out meanwhile with a text if his brother is fine... and you are looking forward to hearing back from him again when he is free. No answer or vague answer means he is not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Why would he get pissed off? I had to pick up a friend at the airport and the plane was delayed. I thought his answer was weird from the beginning... "ya". This sucks so much. It was super bowl day. I wonder if he thought I was partying and decided to stay longer. At the end of his message he said "we can meet soon" and that is it. I feel like a total loser for even caring about this person. BINGO.....I guess now you see where my comment was coming from. Some guys are like this, and although your reason might have been legit, he didn't see it as such Link to post Share on other sites
Author JANIE2406 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 well, I texted him today asking about his brother. Based on the answer, it was all BS...and who knew??. Small talk, how I was feeling, that he worries about me working in such a rough neighborhood...then I told him thanks and that I was going to do an inspection and wished him a good rest of day. He did not reply. Classy act. I am actually glad we had no second date. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Online dating is awful. I just started and he has been doing it for over a year. I think some people have been burned so many times anything that happens is game playing. I did tell him my friends plane was delayed due to weather changes, but it was actually because her plane had to stop at Iowa to get gas. I thought he would not believe (because I almost did not) this and went on with the weather excuse. He did seemed upset when I asked to change the time. Also at the end of his message he said "we can meet soon". That was the worst. If he been doing OLD for over a year there is a good chance he's been flaked on a number of times before. I hear so many stories IRL and on here, with both sexes guilty. It does seem like he might have been pissed but all you did was move the time and had a very good excuse, and its not like I imagined it really upset a finely planned schedule of events for a Sunday. He might be jack of getting cancellations & change in plans, so is maybe taking it out on you for payback. Hey maybe his brother got in a fight with an opposition supporter watching the game in a bar and he had to take him to casualty unit to get fixed up. You would have liked to have heard the reason for the cancellation. Sometimes this is why its good to make a call instead of rely on short txt to communicate (more info + you can pick up on their emotions or maybe sense a lie). Let him get back in touch with you. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 well, I texted him today asking about his brother. Based on the answer, it was all BS...and who knew??. Small talk, how I was feeling, that he worries about me working in such a rough neighborhood...then I told him thanks and that I was going to do an inspection and wished him a good rest of day. He did not reply. Classy act. I am actually glad we had no second date. Did you say something like - Hey I am so sorry about the other day that I had to reschedule. I had to pick someone up from airport urgently. Really was looking forward to see you though. Was disappointed that we couldn't. When do you think it's going to be possible next? What about this Friday? Or did you just inquired about his brother? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JANIE2406 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 I asked about his brother and how he was doing and said that I ended up staying at the airport waiting for almost 45 min. I was friendly. Kinda wanted to show that I was not upset. He said everything was good and asked how I was and how working was going (i just restarted working after 15 days off). So we went on this mild conversation and I finally said I had to go. I was expecting that he would bring up something about meeting again, but no. I guess this is it. I did what I could the best way I can. He knows I am not upset with the cancellation and if he wants to see me again he needs to come forward. If he has been burned by other girls, I feel sorry he has to act like this with other people. The worst part for me is I really liked him physically and mentally. I receive an average of 10 emails a day on this paid dating website and went only on 3 dates on a two month interval and he was the only one I clicked with and the only one that I actually wanted to see again. Bummer. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Janie For whatever little it may be worth, I'm proud of you for taking the high road & reaching out to ask about the brother. Sorry it was BS, especially since you liked him but better to know earlier. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I asked about his brother and how he was doing and said that I ended up staying at the airport waiting for almost 45 min. I was friendly. Kinda wanted to show that I was not upset. He said everything was good and asked how I was and how working was going (i just restarted working after 15 days off). So we went on this mild conversation and I finally said I had to go. I was expecting that he would bring up something about meeting again, but no. I guess this is it. I did what I could the best way I can. He knows I am not upset with the cancellation and if he wants to see me again he needs to come forward. If he has been burned by other girls, I feel sorry he has to act like this with other people. The worst part for me is I really liked him physically and mentally. I receive an average of 10 emails a day on this paid dating website and went only on 3 dates on a two month interval and he was the only one I clicked with and the only one that I actually wanted to see again. Bummer. I know exactly how you feel. It is so hard to feel a connection with someone on emotional level and also have physical attraction and all the other mandatory stuff checked out... n then this happens... Never mind, it was just one date. I hope you meet someone nice soon... good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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