academicmoss Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I'm 31 and my ex is 35. He dumped me, "unofficially", a little over 3 weeks ago. He told me he loved me in a text and then right after disappeared. I knew he'd been unhappy as we'd been fighting quite a bit over things that we could have worked out, had we actually tried. I guess he found it easier to run away and let things fizzle out than try and fix them. It'd been brought to my attention that he's done this disappearing act in past relationships and they ended up cheating on him as a result of him being "unavailable" for awhile. Anyway, a little over a week after disappearing he turned up on facebook and started posting things right after me in order to provoke a response or get my attention, none of which worked this time but always did in the past. I figured he made his bed so I'd let him lie in it. 2 days ago he posted a status, right after me, that showed he was clearly mad I was moving on with my life and wasn't pining for him but yet again I didn't respond. Anyway, this morning I posted a status that I was going to the gym today and running a special errand tonight and for everyone to have a good day. 11 mins after (which is the same amount of time it took him to "revenge post" after me every other time) (clearly he was watching me these last 3 weeks) he sends me a fb message saying it's easier to just delete me than deal with this bull****. He told me to be good, take care and said bye. THAT provoked a response. I wish I had stuck to my guns and not said anything but I did. If he'd just deleted me I'd have said nothing.. But for some reason once he spoke to me I had to have my say as well. I guess it pissed me off he had the nerve to initiate contact to inform me he was deleting me. I then sent him a fb message and then I blew up his cell out of anger and hurt. He text me back telling me he was working and even sent me a picture of himself today, which pissed me off since I've been somewhat healing since he ran away. He looked so cute and that pisses me off, too. He knows I love him and how much he meant to me and it's like he's throwing this in my face just to see me beg or plead. He loved for me to chase him. I ended up losing it and pouring out my heart to this idiot, telling him how I missed him and things I loved about him. One minute I tried getting closure, the next I was bitching and the next I was loving/missing him. I was acting like a crazy lady but there were so many things left unspoken. He never said anything in return except that he was busy at work and sent me a couple of work pics, a pic of himself and telling me where he was working at. I haven't stopped crying since. I'm soooo hurt and pissed off. We were together over 3 years and he just "disappeared" on me. I haven't saw him in a month and up until today we hadn't spoken in over 3 weeks, nothing at all between us except his irritated facebook posts. The thing is, he's been clearly getting annoyed at me for moving on but he's the one caused all of this. How the hell do you tell someone you love them and then they never hear from you again? I'm filled with so many different emotions right now. I feel so damn stupid for telling him I'm still in love with him, but I am. He was the love of my life and sadly I thought he felt the same. I feel worse now than I did a week ago. I was finding it extremely hard to move on with no closure but I was making it. Now it feels even worse after hearing from him. I guess I hoped he'd say he missed me too or whatever. I'm hurting so bad. Can anyone offer me some kind words, please? And has anyone else had experience with this? Why did he do this? And why watch me on facebook for the last 3 weeks and get irritated that I'm moving on after HE left ME? I'm not going to chase him like he seems to want me to. I'm going back to NC and letting him go just like I have the last 3 weeks.
Musing Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I'm 31 and my ex is 35. He dumped me, "unofficially", a little over 3 weeks ago. He told me he loved me in a text and then right after disappeared. I knew he'd been unhappy as we'd been fighting quite a bit over things that we could have worked out, had we actually tried. I guess he found it easier to run away and let things fizzle out than try and fix them. It'd been brought to my attention that he's done this disappearing act in past relationships and they ended up cheating on him as a result of him being "unavailable" for awhile. Anyway, a little over a week after disappearing he turned up on facebook and started posting things right after me in order to provoke a response or get my attention, none of which worked this time but always did in the past. I figured he made his bed so I'd let him lie in it. 2 days ago he posted a status, right after me, that showed he was clearly mad I was moving on with my life and wasn't pining for him but yet again I didn't respond. Anyway, this morning I posted a status that I was going to the gym today and running a special errand tonight and for everyone to have a good day. 11 mins after (which is the same amount of time it took him to "revenge post" after me every other time) (clearly he was watching me these last 3 weeks) he sends me a fb message saying it's easier to just delete me than deal with this bull****. He told me to be good, take care and said bye. THAT provoked a response. I wish I had stuck to my guns and not said anything but I did. If he'd just deleted me I'd have said nothing.. But for some reason once he spoke to me I had to have my say as well. I guess it pissed me off he had the nerve to initiate contact to inform me he was deleting me. I then sent him a fb message and then I blew up his cell out of anger and hurt. He text me back telling me he was working and even sent me a picture of himself today, which pissed me off since I've been somewhat healing since he ran away. He looked so cute and that pisses me off, too. He knows I love him and how much he meant to me and it's like he's throwing this in my face just to see me beg or plead. He loved for me to chase him. I ended up losing it and pouring out my heart to this idiot, telling him how I missed him and things I loved about him. One minute I tried getting closure, the next I was bitching and the next I was loving/missing him. I was acting like a crazy lady but there were so many things left unspoken. He never said anything in return except that he was busy at work and sent me a couple of work pics, a pic of himself and telling me where he was working at. I haven't stopped crying since. I'm soooo hurt and pissed off. We were together over 3 years and he just "disappeared" on me. I haven't saw him in a month and up until today we hadn't spoken in over 3 weeks, nothing at all between us except his irritated facebook posts. The thing is, he's been clearly getting annoyed at me for moving on but he's the one caused all of this. How the hell do you tell someone you love them and then they never hear from you again? I'm filled with so many different emotions right now. I feel so damn stupid for telling him I'm still in love with him, but I am. He was the love of my life and sadly I thought he felt the same. I feel worse now than I did a week ago. I was finding it extremely hard to move on with no closure but I was making it. Now it feels even worse after hearing from him. I guess I hoped he'd say he missed me too or whatever. I'm hurting so bad. Can anyone offer me some kind words, please? And has anyone else had experience with this? Why did he do this? And why watch me on facebook for the last 3 weeks and get irritated that I'm moving on after HE left ME? I'm not going to chase him like he seems to want me to. I'm going back to NC and letting him go just like I have the last 3 weeks. Wow. This guy sounds like he has some insecurities...and deep ones. Who, at the age of 35, can't even do so much as send a text (which is rude in its own right) that it's over? And then goes and plays these little facebook games? I know you're in pain, and it's natural to feel what you're feeling, but to be honest I would've deleted him for ignoring me and acting so childish. These aren't actions of a man, they are actions of someone who is troubled or juvenile. You need someone who isn't going to toy with you, up and leave without giving you a respectful goodbye, and then get mad at you for moving on. It's as if he wanted his cake and wants to eat it too - to disappear when it is convenient for him but keep you around if he's upset or lonely. Don't let him do that! You already have the upper hand by going NC...keep at it. Don't give this guy satisfaction. He sounds off.
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