ashy555 Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I am currently having a lot of trouble with someone who i would consider my absolute best friend of 8 years. Emma. Its started declining over the past year due to me becoming very close with someone who was once a good friend of hers. Everyone always told me how possessive she was over me but i never saw it and its only in the last year that im starting to see a very ugly side to her. We were like two peas in a pod and we share almost all of the same friends. We have been there for each other through thick and thin. One problem is she is somewhat 'socially not up to scratch' and i can see she gets its from her parents. She used to be the sweetest girl who wouldnt hurt a fly. Her parents never let her out anywhere till she was about 19 20 and she wasnt allowed a job until she had finished school. Recently she has brought on this 'bad girl' 'i dont give a eff' attitude which she only expresses through text and social media. I absolutely despise social media.. one reason why i have deleted my facebook alltogether. About 6 months ago she decided to cut out one of our best friends from her life... Her name is Sarah and she hated that i was friends with her. Once she tried to console in me. I told her no one could ever come between us and that i loved her so much and that no one could ever take her away from me. I am an extremely loyal friend and treat them all with nothing but respect. She felt a little better for a while but then the jealousy started to get worse and literally ate away at her to the point where she couldnt stand being around Sarah so she cut her out for no reason.. not one word was said.. deleted her off facebook the works. Apparently Sarah put up one photo of her and myself and hash tagged it 'besties' but because emma had already blocked her on instagram, she thought the only reason she put it on facebook was to get back at Emma. Clealy jealousy was manipulating her own mind. All the while Sarah had no idea what was going on. Sarah was devastated and didnt know what she had done. Once Sarah confronted Emma properly and asked her for about the 4th time what she had done, Emma replied finally with this horrible, nasty out of this world msg. All Emma could say were these minUTE problems which would barely break the weakest of friendships, then at the end she wrote "i couldnt even hang out with MY friends without you being there" Then started naming everyone Sarah had become friends with that were friends with her first. Thats when i realised the whole thing was over jealousy but i still couldnt understand how she could be so volatile and sinister about it. She is angry. She asked her to never speak to her or see her ever again. I then found out that two years ago while a group of us were away, this guy i had been seeing who had totally screwed me over hooked up with her. I was a mess. while i was downstairs crying my heart out she was making out with him. She claims it was him who did it but then keeps it from me for two years while i find out from someone else. She then sleeps with another guy who hurt me pretty badly a month after in the room next to me. She is starting to get herself a name and i cannot trust her. It took me a little while to forgive her but i did as there is no point holding onto any anger. Since cutting out Emma our friendship has suffered a whole lot. i get in trouble when i invite them both to events. I get told off for including her in the same msg as 'her' and she tells me to never include her in the same msg as 'her' again. All through fb msging by the way. This attitude has come from nowhere. She gets jealous of me and our other close friend Alison. Wont contact us in any way when we are together or if anything on facebook or instagram talks about us. A while ago i unfollowed Emma on instagram as she was posting a lot of photos that were attacking. I only did so because i was feeling caught and stuck in the middle and i hated seeing it. I recently got up the courage to follow her again and as soon as i did Emma asked why and i was honest with her. Ever since she has completely ignored me. She has even gone so far as to organise a catch up with the usual two we always have coffee with and deliberately excluded me. I have seriously had ENOUGH of her childish behaviour, her jealousy, her anger. Its just so sad to see jealousy eat away at her like it is. I have been nothing but loyal and forgiving to her, now she decides throw it away because of a stupid thing called 'social media'. We are 23 years old.. not 12. I now have quite a few very close friends but no big group that always hang out together because they all hate each other over pettiness. I am the only one that is friends with everyone and it is DRAINING! I am sick to death of being caught in the middle. I knew from the moment she treated Sarah the way she did that i would eventually cop it. Do you think i should leave it and let her be... or contact her and say something?! Im just not sure if i should let go of our friendship completely or just think 'meh her loss'. its like she was infatuated with me.. possessive.. but all the time i have been told she has been completely jealous of me.
David87 Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 She's jealous of you being friends with her former friend that's why she's acting like this. You will have to choose between the two of them, there's no other solution
SpiralOut Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 She doesn't sound like a very good friend, sleeping with the same men who had hurt you. I don't know if I would stick around for someone like that . . .
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