TaylorM91 Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Hello, I have been having problems and it affected the girl that I love with all my heart. I have been having emotional and mental issues from moving to my friends, I wanted to go there to start working so I can get to living with my love in Canada sooner. It was a good plan until the stress and anxiety and other things started making my health go down the drain, my GF was seeing me looking more sick, pale, worse each day. So her and I agreed for me to go back to my parents, so I can recover. I was fine the first few days then I started having issues where I was easily irritable, depressed at times, lashing out, and putting down friends, family....her. It got to the point where her and I agreed to just give ourselves a break until we can get in a better position to do anything, and we still were in love but we just needed to do this so we can get better. Unfortunately, I was still having issues and a couple of episodes and two weeks later, she was upset with me and stopped talking to me, I tried to talk to her and she ended up sending this. "Taylor, I got your voicemail between two of my classes. I'm sorry, but I can't bring myself to do this anymore. It's like this tango of constant unpleasantness. It's definitely not the first time this has happened, and you know it. But I can't continue like that. I wish you a speedy recovery. I know you can do well for yourself, but right now I need to be left alone." That was sent on the 9th of Janurary, and I tried talking to her two weeks later but she blocked me on Facebook. Me and my buddies feel like she will come back but she just needs time and space. I have been fixing and improving myself since she left and been making good improvements and been feeling a lot better and know where I screwed up and know what to do pretty much for her now.I feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed in what I became and said and did but I have a feeling that everything will be okay. Right now, she should, or will be getting, a letter I sent with half of a love necklace she sent, telling her I still love her and I am sorry for what I have done and will give her as much time and space she needs after that and will continue to work on myself. My buddies were saying she will come back, she's hurt and just needs time to heal from what happened and she knows I wasn't myself during the time I was back. And I have been healing still and going to work on fixing myself from what happened between her and I and from living at my friends there. What gives me more hope is that she didn't go the extra effort to remove me off of other services and such. I feel she will come back after fair amount of time because I was the first person she admitted she loved and was ready to marry me! She wasn't into relationships at all, until I came around lol. Her and I did so much, promised a lot to each other, told each other things we wouldn't tell others. She isn't the kind of girl to just throw it away like that. So I was hoping that I can get words of advice, encouragement, or even keep us in your prayers. I feel everything will work out between us, it'll just take time. Thank you for reading and responding.
justwhoiam Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 By her response, I get you did something very wrong for the nth time, that's what I'm reading into it. But I don't know what and how severe that was. So I guess that would make a difference in how she will rethink/reconsider a relationship with you. I wish I could say more, but not having any details to go with, I must leave it at that. Also, words can help, but not always. Actions/behavior count more than anything else. Especially if you promised things you couldn't keep in the past, she's less likely to believe them. Now, regarding your current situation... she might be ready to talk to you again one of these days. I would say that if she gets info about you checking on you online somehow or through friends (directly or indirectly), she might be content with just that. Knowing you're doing fine or being still single. In most cases (unless she can't really stand you anymore), lack of info would drive her crazy. Keep a low profile, the less info, the better. Don't update statuses, no pictures with you and girls all over the web, no depressed moods. Ask your friends not to share any info about you. See what happens.
Author TaylorM91 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 (edited) Hello, thank you for the response! I was always good to her, she loved my company, I was supportive of her and I did anything I could for her, until after I came back from my friends. I lost my confidence and even myself and because of that I wasn't able to be who I was before nor was I confident enough to do certain things, like getting a job for instance, because of my depression, I just didn't think I can get one in town. Believe me when I say this, I have taken a major introspection of myself since she left and I know what to do to fix/improve myself and know how to fix the issues that occurred between us because I agree that actions speak louder than words. I have been going to the doctor's, looking for work and applying wherever I can, getting a new perspective on things, going to church, so many things that I feel confident in doing again. And for keeping a low profile, I have always been, I never posted too much to begin with but I did tell mutual contacts about not telling her about me. She always did say she cares for me and wants to know I'm okay so maybe this will give her the excuse to talk to me and I can show her what I have done to fix myself. I feel she would be proud that not only the man she fell in love with came back but with a new breath of life and confidence. Edited February 4, 2014 by TaylorM91 Not enough info it felt like
Author TaylorM91 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) @justwhoiam I wanted to give a quick update, she still hasn't contacted me but I have gotten the all clear from my doctor that my mental and emotional health is fine. What I was planning to do is that in 2-3 weeks was to send her a video message and putting it all on the table, telling her I am sorry, what's she's putting me through, that I still love her, and I'm more than willing to work this out for however long it takes but I'm not going to wait forever for her and this could be the only chance she'll have to be with me since I got better. Her and I did promise to hold out for each other so I feel that this might actually work to get her back but I'm preparing for the worst since it's been closing onto two months. I think I'm making the right call but I am open to discussion and ideas Edited February 21, 2014 by TaylorM91
Author TaylorM91 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 Actually, now I am thinking of just calling her up and telling her I am better and would like to talk things over, I think the video message may be too much
justwhoiam Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Well, yes, I would be puzzled at a videomessage out of the blue. And hearing what I've put you through and that you're not going to wait forever would seem quite out of place. Really. It could get you the opposite reaction: bother the heck out of her. Are you still on each other facebook pages?
Author TaylorM91 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 No, she still has me blocked, I have talked to a few others andmaybe she still needs more time
Author TaylorM91 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 Part of me feels like she's giving us time to focus on ourselves and when and if she comes back, she would want to see me better. I don't think she'll outright throw me away after everything
ExpatInItaly Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I need to be very direct: what did you do and say to her that ended this relationship? Without knowing what happened it's not easy to give insight or feedback. She told you she's not interested and she has cut contact with you. Do not attempt to contact her again. She could wind up being very irritated. Also, she knows how to get in touch if she wants to. Don't push this one.
Author TaylorM91 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 (edited) All right, I won't push it. Like I said, my depression and mental health made me see everything negatively and irritable, my last episode basically went (I can't copy and paste on a Vita) "I can't stand feeling like I'm judged when I try to enjoy gaming, my hobby I like, and talking about it" when in reality, she didn't mind me talking about it but just didn't have much to say. It sucks because I was never like that until my issues came around, it actually caused me to be destructive in more ways than one. :/ Edited February 22, 2014 by TaylorM91
Author TaylorM91 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 Another instance was when we were in a Skype chat with a couple of friends and I was feeling another episode, she slipped out of the call because she had to go to sleep but didn't want to bother us. Normally I just check to see she's okay then just let her sleep because she has Major Depression Disorder and I help her out with it, but.....My irritability kicked in and thought that we did something wrong and we had a spat about it. It hurts knowing that I just became another person and became destructive after a bad call, kills me knowing I put her through so much because of it...
Author TaylorM91 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 (edited) And the bad call? I made an impromptu move to my friend's place, because of my ways of communication weren't working, I had to get my friend's wife to send a text to my GF about what's happening. The thing was that they were filing for divorce a few weeks beforehand while the husband was overseas. and that I had to play marriage counselor for them, and the wife wanted to see me personally to help sort things out, I told Leah (my girlfriend) that whatever happens I'll put her first, but the wife never came to pick me up, so we were both relieved. Fast forward to being there, I went down there to get a job because I wanted to move to where Leah is quicker but her and I argued about how I didn't talk it over with her, which was a terrible call and she had the right to call me out on it. Then a day later, she thought I was going to cheat on her with the wife because her last boyfriend cheated on Leah and left her because she had mental problems, which made her understandably paranoid. We did talk things over but it started the downward spirling effect in my health which eventually lead me to being how I was. I won't go into details how it was like living there but let's just say it wasn't fit for me at all, it was a terrible call. There was good intentions for it but I just messed up on many levels, the only thing to show for it was a passport, I'm actually getting upset thinking about it again. Edited February 22, 2014 by TaylorM91
Author TaylorM91 Posted February 22, 2014 Author Posted February 22, 2014 (edited) The more I look over stuff between her and I, the better the chance I think she'll come back over time. She was acknowledging that I was messed up and maybe she's giving us time to fix ourselves, she needs to heal from what happened and focus on things and I needed to pull myself back together. It feels like that's how it's going. Edited February 22, 2014 by TaylorM91
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