Woggle Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 When choosing a partner should a person try to be PC or look out for their own interests?
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Part of political correctness is politeness gone awry. In the very beginning, both parties should avoid being offensive. But as time goes by, they can & should feel each other out. If they find they share their same views, no matter how "wrong" or "offensive" they may be . . . that could be a point of commonality. Similarly, once some of those preferences or perspectives are revealed one may decide they don't like the other based on those choices. 1
TXGuy Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but I think you should date who you want to date, Regardless of PC. If you don't want to date outside your race, fine. If you want to avoid fat or thin people, fine. If you want to avoid certain political persuasions, fine. There is not much that is more personal than dating/sleeping with someone. Who you choose to date should not be dictated by PC. That said, I think one should be PC in conversation while dating. Just like you would at work. 7
soccerrprp Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but I think you should date who you want to date, Regardless of PC. If you don't want to date outside your race, fine. If you want to avoid fat or thin people, fine. If you want to avoid certain political persuasions, fine. There is not much that is more personal than dating/sleeping with someone. Who you choose to date should not be dictated by PC. That said, I think one should be PC in conversation while dating. Just like you would at work. TXGuy, This is one of the most reasonable perspectives on PC i've heard. And you're from TX! I have always been dumbfounded by the people who are most against PC. They tend totally dismiss that fact that modern PC-ism is a direct result of centuries of BS that people outside the establishment has had to endure. Some PC is certainly overboard, but, essentially, if one really thinks of about much of it, it makes people be more sensitive, careful about offending. It too can be overboard at times, but it makes it taboo for *********s from feeling comfortable about being an *********. 1
crederer Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Being PC kind of bothers me when it gets to the point of being outrageous. You need to be polite but if you have a view on something, have the grapes to say it rather than "ho humm I'll just say something I don't even believe cause that's something someone else says i should do".
Author Woggle Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 I actually think the only way to have true healing in our society is honest and frank discussion. PC has done nothing except paint a happy and polite face on what is still a very polarized and divided society. It has done nothing to make people more tolerant. It's just phony politeness. It's time for everybody to start being honest. What I mean by PC in dating is that we are supposed to be open minded and non judgmental about certain things when looking for a partner when in reality many of us aren't. Many of the reasons also serve a purpose.
rewl Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 When choosing a partner should a person try to be PC or look out for their own interests? Being PC has no place in dating. It isn't a work meeting or the UN in session. 1
GoreSP Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Well, you are entitled to choosing your partner based on your values, life choices etc... I think PC is more important when rejecting someone. As in, there is no need to turn down a chubby girl by telling her you don't date whales. 3
Emilia Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I don't think I've ever seen PC in dating. People may date someone who they think is good for them in the long run and get it wrong (ie use their head too much instead of their heart too) but I've never heard anyone picking a partner based on some kind of PC ethos.
Taramere Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 The trouble with demanding honesty is that sometimes people don't even know why they feel/don't feel something for another person. All too often people want to know. "Why don't you like me? Why don't you love me? Why aren't you interested?" People often desperately want answers to these questions, but sometimes the most honest answer would be "I don't know." It isn't satisfactory, so in an attempt to provide resolution people start going through a list of "why am I not attracted to this person? Why don't I like them? What is it that I think is wrong with them". Which is probably not helpful - especially not if they decide to go through the list with the person. So I think often people will look for some compromise. Find an area where they generally believe there's an incompatibility - but try to identify an incompatibility that isn't too insulting to the person. It could just be a nod to temperamental differences or potential temperamental clashes that are going to create too many problems. Everybody applauds honesty, but it often doesn't look very pretty or kind in practice. Sometimes a person's notion of being open and frank is unnecessarily cruel. Or it might be based on a poorly formed assessment. Maybe they've just met somebody new but they're going through a negative time in their life and they're projecting those issues onto the new person. To them, expressing those negatives might feel frank and honest - but it might be that they're not even at a point where they're being honest with themselves.
Shepp Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 You cant make yourself attracted to someone if your not - even if its not politically correct. I know personally theres a pretty set "type" of girl I find attractive, and it probably isn't politically correct, but its not my fault, its not something I have control over.
Els Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Of course it doesn't. However, you can be non-judgmental while sticking to your preferences. I'm not interested in men who have been with prostitutes, but I don't insult or belittle them either. I'm also all for the LGBT movement, but I have no interest in dating a gay or transgendered man. The two are quite different. IMO "PC" has its place in polite and civil dealings with other people. You don't need to let it dictate personal preferences however.
potsticker Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 I actually think the only way to have true healing in our society is honest and frank discussion. PC has done nothing except paint a happy and polite face on what is still a very polarized and divided society. It has done nothing to make people more tolerant. It's just phony politeness. It's time for everybody to start being honest. I just wanted to point out 1960s hate crimes and blatant racism in colleges. We think that because some of us know that we ourselves can handle the responsibilities of true "free speech", that society can, too. However, societies mature incredibly slowly compared to the lifespans of individuals. And there are always rabble rousers ready to raise a riot to burn a witch. As much as it may speed up "true healing", it will also destroy many lives and will scar generations to come. I, personally prefer the semi-censorship of today, as at least each generation will have less and less inherited biases as they "go out of style".
HokeyReligions Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 When choosing a partner should a person try to be PC or look out for their own interests? I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. You get to know each other dating. PC is okay then up to a point. But when it comes down to the "talk" about the future the couple should really lay their cards on the table and be honest. Even if its a sensitive topic like political views, religion, including sharing your real feelings about things like tea partiers and the number of people your partner's slept with. Even racial slurs that you might use in the heat of a moment. Then get those things prioritized together. You'll know if there are obstacles that you need to work thru or maybe even if there is a deal breaker. So both are in your best interest.
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