Mondmellonw Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 I don't know if this is the right place to post this. If it's not, I'll appreciate if you move it to the right forum. I've been feeling kind of angry lately. I put a lot of forces onto my last relationship, even when I decided "not to gave myself completely" (I didn't had sex with this person, and I am still a virgin). I decided to give all my trust, and put the whole emotional effort on this. I really thought he could be "the one". I must admit I rushed onto things. When I found him he was very gentle, and about the first two months everything came down. (Maybe cause of his problems, maybe cause I was just a rebound. He is already dating a girl friend of mine, bla, bla.... This still upsets me a little, but I'm trying to think that our relationship wasn't going anywhere to feel a little better. I also want to think "hey, you too wanted to be with him". With this kind of thinking I can make myself see this is my responsibility too, even when I feel betrayed by my friend and other people partially involved in this)... He changed, I started to understand all the manipulation, and at some point or another I left. Good thing here is I wasn't completely blind, but this experience completely changed my perspective on all, and I'm having a hard time on trying to calm down my mind lately. I am just 20 years old, but I am not really onto "hooking up", or on being FWB. It's just not my kind and this is only my point of view on this. "To each one it's own". As it goes for me, I like honesty and commitment. By the word "commitment" I don't mean staying like a slave for someone, cause I really love having my own space. I mean being truthful to someone, loving all, loving oneself and loving this person by not doing any kind of cheating (emotional, sexual, idk). I think I still have some sort of bitterness because of what happened, and this is what is still making me doubt my ideals. But I really consider myself a loyal person, and this is what I desire to have in a partner (if I ever got another one). What concerns me, is... well... I am young, the most important thing for me now must be school, and personal achievements. Should I be opened to find love during these years? After my last relationship I decided to give it a break on this, and I want to be lonely for at least one year. Should I forget about the whole "relationships" thing? What's your experience, girls, on being a single woman for the long run? As I said, my last relationship meant a lot to me, before I knew all the lies. Now it's being hard to figure what I need and want, but I am really sure that if I were with someone, it would be because he is an honest man. Any opinions would be really appreciated. Thanks.
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