Gents, advice when it come to date women late 20s and up?

[kaylan]

Im newly 27, and have always dated women the exact same age as me, or a few years younger. So Ive never dated women in their late 20s or older...though Im open to it.

 

Ive been told that single women start to get really push for settling-down/marriage quickly when they hit their late 20s...and really start feeling their biological clock after 30 and rush for kids. This is what Ive heard a few older guys say, and what Ive also read online.

 

Guys whats your experience? I still consider myself somewhat young, and theres things I havent done in life yet that I still wanna do. I still like the fun and spontaneity of dating without having talks of marriage or kids too soon.

 

So whats your experience with women 27 and up?

[TXGuy]

While it is not PC in some forums, what you are describing is very common, almost the rule (there are some exceptions). As long as we started going down the non PC path, some call it baby rabies. Women around 30 start to panic and begin to look for a good provider, rather than the fun guys or bad boys they entertained themselves with in their 20s.

 

It is a rational strategy, given women's fertility and the steep decline in fertility that hits them in their 30s. Google it to get the numbers because you will hear plenty of anecdotes claiming women can have children into their fourties and beyond.

 

I've found baby rabies to be most acute between 28 and 35. Post 35, more women start to accept that it might not happen.

 

As others will point out, there are women in that age range that also do not want children currently, but they will be the minority.

[pickflicker]

I think you should stop listening to the people that tell you all women turn into desperate wannabe mothers by the time they turn 30.

 

That's like saying all men just want no strings attached sex for rest their lives. Grossly unfair, and untrue.

[Frank2thepoint]

Ive been told that single women start to get really push for settling-down/marriage quickly when they hit their late 20s...and really start feeling their biological clock after 30 and rush for kids. This is what Ive heard a few older guys say, and what Ive also read online.

 

My experience has been the opposite. Many women that are still single in their 30s want to be single. Either they've gotten out of long-term relationships, finished their Master's, or just want some spare time to enjoy and discover themselves.

 

 

That's like saying all men just want no strings attached sex for rest their lives. Grossly unfair, and untrue.

 

Hmmm, no strings attached sex for life? That's sound crazy...and tempting.

[kaylan]

I think you should stop listening to the people that tell you all women turn into desperate wannabe mothers by the time they turn 30.

 

That's like saying all men just want no strings attached sex for rest their lives. Grossly unfair, and untrue.

Which is why I started this thread...to see what everyones experience was.

 

Btw, just looking at OLD profiles, a fair number of "older" gals do give off the vibe that they really wanna settle down and possibly have kids really soon.

I'm 34 and not in any rush to find a husband, or have babies.

 

In fact don't really care if it happens at all. I have friends who are saddled down with sub-par husbands and they're stuck with them because they had their babies.

 

And I'm not jealous of them in the least.

Thats what Im scared of too. Who wants to be settled for? Personally Id rather adopt than have a child with a woman Im not crazy about.

[Chocolat]

Btw, just looking at OLD profiles, a fair number of "older" gals do give off the vibe that they really wanna settle down and possibly have kids really soon.

 

Ok, but a woman who wants to settle down is probably more likely to turn to OLD than one who isn't. So I don't know that you can extrapolate to the general population as a result.

 

And even if we all magically agreed that X% of women ages 28-30 DO want to get married and have a baby, I'd still say that you need to be on the lookout for the Y% who are a good fit for you.

[pickflicker]

Which is why I started this thread...to see what everyones experience was.

 

Btw, just looking at OLD profiles, a fair number of "older" gals do give off the vibe that they really wanna settle down and possibly have kids really soon.

Thats what Im scared of too. Who wants to be settled for? Personally Id rather adopt than have a child with a woman Im not crazy bout.

 

Just because they want a relationship, doesn't mean they want a relationship with just anyone. Loads of people are dating to find a relationship, but are not desperate enough for the first person to throw them a bone.

 

Many women over 30 (myself included) are self-assured enough to know what they want, but relaxed enough to just go with the flow when it comes to dating, without putting all this pressure on it.

 

Women who desperately want marriage and babies are coming from a place of insecurity, and insecurity doesn't have an age barrier.

[veggirl]

Well, I mean you have to consider the fact that yes if a woman wants marriage & children, as she approaches and passes 30 she WILL be more serious about it. I mean......women don't have forever to have children and I don't think I'm over-reaching when I say most would like to have those children in a committed marriage.

 

I think you are best suited to continue dating a little younger or right at your age. 27 is kinda in between, it's an age where a lot of people DO get married but I don't know that it's a huge "omg" age where if they aren't married they are having panic attacks about it or something.

 

signed,

30, not married, no kids, perfectly content

[xxoo]

This is where honesty and clear communication come in. A lot of women are feeling ready to start that next stage of life around that age, and will be dating with that purpose: to find the right guy to start a family. If that's not you, be honest! And don't shy away from the topic. The conversation is what lets you know what she is and is not looking for. That's great information in the early dating days.

[ExpatInItaly]

I am a 32-year-old woman. I'll be 33 in a few months. I am by no means looking to settle down, get married and have children right away. Like you said, OP, I too still have things I'd like to do before I commit myself to a husband and family. I know a few single ladies around my age who feel the same way too. Don't assume we're all pushing for marriage and babies, because it's simply not the case!

 

By the same token, I don't assume that all younger men in the 20's are over-grown frat boys who only think about their next conquest. That too would be a sweeping generalization.

[Mrlonelyone]

Assuming a woman ever wants to have kids and hasn't had them already then her late 20's up to early 30's are the time to have them. 25-45 are the prime times for a woman to have a kid. The 30's are smack in the middle of that.

 

If you want a woman who really isn't into settling down the surest best is a woman in her early 20's.

 

You could do the Jay-Z play.

 

Find a talented young woman in her early 20's. Then bide your time with her in a relatively casual arrangement while she matures. Then if things are still going strong in four for five years you marry her.

[jcrew11]

Hah, when you date women over 30, wouldn't most of them be single moms already, especially in online dating? Or are you specifically avoiding single moms and divorced women?

 

Since its more difficult and dangerous for the woman and child to have babies after 40, then many women see the ages of 30-40 as her prime birthing years. Plus, women also want monogamy and marriage because their looks will start to deteriorate as they age, so that contributes to her desperation.

 

Basically, tred carefully when dating 30 year old women. In some ways, the desperation makes them easier to convince to hookup, but it makes it also more difficult to dump them and have one night stands.

[Ruby Slippers]

I didn't start thinking seriously about the realities of having kids until 36, when the guy I was dating asked me if I want to have kids.

 

I think you'll get the full range around 30 - from women who are very focused on the goal of having a family, to women who aren't thinking about it yet at all, and even those who don't want kids or are pretty sure they don't.

[RedRobin]

I'm not really sure where your paranoia comes from, Kaylan.

 

 

You don't want people to stereotype you, so why are you stereotyping them? Just get to know them and see what they want.

 

 

When I was close to your age, I was getting my tubes tied even though I had zero health issues and was perfectly fertile. That's how much I didn't want kids out of my own body.

 

 

What's funny, is that I observe men in their late 30's and early 40's starting to freak out if they haven't found someone to start a family with. That's when THEY go online and start trying to pound the 20 somethings with emails and do double back handsprings relationship-wise. It's a little pathetic.

 

 

If you ever DO want a family and marriage, Kaylan, you don't have forever either... as much as these dudes around here all want to convince you that you can wait until you are 50 something to start getting serious about it.

 

 

Even if you don't want kids and marriage, men have a shelf-life too. The best women get snatched up right about the time guys like you are whining about not wanting to settle down... late 20's and into your 30's. *shrug*

[fatalcharm]

Just because they want a relationship, doesn't mean they want a relationship with just anyone. Loads of people are dating to find a relationship, but are not desperate enough for the first person to throw them a bone.

 

Many women over 30 (myself included) are self-assured enough to know what they want, but relaxed enough to just go with the flow when it comes to dating, without putting all this pressure on it.

 

Women who desperately want marriage and babies are coming from a place of insecurity, and insecurity doesn't have an age barrier.

 

I agree 100% with this. Couldn't have said it better.

[crederer]

I'm similar age. I find generally dating women my age or slightly older is preferred for me. Younger girls I find are quite immature and we don't share any interests. Girls younger than 23 or 24 to me seem like children. Their lack of life experience doesn't sit well with me.