lost_in_chgo Posted January 15, 2005 Posted January 15, 2005 My new acronym is RLLC Regular low level contact or LLC for short. I've begun to feel that my ex is more comfortable talking to me when she is involved. When she doesn't have anyone, she cuts off communication. This implies to me that she is maybe reconsidering during these times, but is not ready to do so. So my new way of dealing with her will be to communicate with her regularly via email with just chit chat so that she knows I am out here and wait for her to open up a bit more. My goal is not to convert her to my way of thinking, but rather to make her comfortable when talking to me. I've been doing this for several weeks now and it seems that our communication is becoming less strained, though she is still drawing lines and holding back. I've had alot of success with this with my prior ex, who communicates with me at a very honest level regularly and who I recently visited on vacation. Though she is a bit more mature and confident in herself than my ex. We have been able to reestablish our friendship and are communicating much better than we ever did.
upsetnhurt Posted January 22, 2005 Posted January 22, 2005 Your method sounds great if in fact you can handle the lack of responsiveness of your ex. Most can't as they want immediate returns and unfortunately make things worse by then blowing up at their ex's.
imokurnot Posted January 23, 2005 Posted January 23, 2005 Sheeesh now you tell me.............Sounds like me yesterday blowing up at my ex. I think I had a valid reason though (abortion of my kid without discussing anythingwith me). I did blow up but usually I am ultra-understanding and don't show any jealousy towdrs the new guy. Yesterday i did however and she still hasn't calle dme back. I went off on her answering machine. She cussed me out and said she never wants to talk to me again. LOL That will last about a week i bet.,....We shall see however.
Author lost_in_chgo Posted January 23, 2005 Author Posted January 23, 2005 abortion of my kid without discussing anythingwith me Yeah, I had that happen once. All the crap about it's my body etc. I wonder how those women would feel it they were slipped a RU-486 in their coffee and told "it was my sperm". Ultimately, there's nothing you could have done to stop her. But you can make sure it never happens again by walking away.
imokurnot Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Sorry i get lost on this board sometimes. I wish there was a way to track my posts...maybe I just don't know a better way to do it. I log out and then go to my profile and bring up all my past posts. There has to be a better way but I am lazy I guess and haven't taken the time to figure oit out lol. About the abortion thing. I would have come to the same vcconclusion in the end. The problem I had was I never got to work through the process before it was complte. I mean the week before when they knew (her and new guy) they had a chance to go through the whole thing and know that the Friday it went down, it was the conclusion of the whole provcess. Anticipating that end is very helpful. They were allowe dto work through it menatally which meant emotionally they were prepared for the conclusion. If they weren't happy at any point along the way they could stop it during the week. I had no time to go through the process and when i was told it was too late. So I had guilt etc. I just wanted her to talk to me for a few minutes and I am sure i would have felty better. But to tell me right after she had the procedure, "im ok, it was 12 1/2 weeks if your interested." Well she knew damn wel that made it likely mine. So she didn't mention it and got off the phone quickly. I am driving and on the freeway so i get my cell phone and go to calender and see it was mine (most likely). I call her back and she won't answer my call it goes to voicemail. Because, she is with her new guy. I was upset too because he was a last minute replacement and never planned on goin with her to the procedure. He replaced her friend the day before because he r friend couldn't get the vacation day. So to shgow him respect by not talking with me "too much" after in my mind he totally disrespected her by not planning to go to her procedure set me off. Not talking to me when I find out unexspectadly it was mine out of respect for his feelings? Hello, wtf? If he didn't unsderstand I should be allowed to talk to her on the phone for 5 minutes max about it then he is a jerk. If she did it to prove her loyalty or her affection, love oir whatever then her true colors are bleeding through. Well they had been already but since I am color blind I didn't notince until they were coverred in my blood. That color I can see, only by then it is too late.
alphamale Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by lost_in_chgo or LLC for short. i thought this meant Limited Liability Corporation
Author lost_in_chgo Posted February 2, 2005 Author Posted February 2, 2005 quote:Originally posted by lost_in_chgo or LLC for short. i thought this meant Limited Liability Corporation It used to. I changed it. Let everyone know.
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