CherryBlossom200 Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Hey everyone, Thought I would consult you guys about a date I had with somene this weekend. Met on Tinder, the guy is late thirties and we had a pretty amazing first date which lasted 8 hours in total. Met for a drink then ended up doing a walk by the Thames which led to dinner followed up with more drinks. It was great and we had loads in common, we also had a cheeky kiss and both confessed to liking one another. It was all very sweet. He asked if I would like to meet again during the week and I said yes. Then a little bit later on he has if I had plans the next day (was the weekend), it wasn't anything concrete but I was like ok sounds fun! He comes across as a very genuine, honest guy - we're mates on Facebook too so I can see if seems to be decent guy. The next day he texted me in the morning with a lovely message asking how I am, I replied I'm good thanks.He said he wasn't too well as had a dodgy stomache from last night but that he still had a smile on his face from the night before with me. He asked if I would be free next week instead to go out. I'm not stressing too much as I feel like he was telling the truth but at the same time I've had a rubbish time with guys recently so I was worried perhaps he had a change of heart the next day and was letting me down gently. Even though we have agreed to meeting this week, we haven't agreed to a day so it's a bit well erm 'loose' - I think if he doesn't get in touch by tonight/tomorrow the latest I can assume no interest? This guy is great but possibly quite laid back? Not sure. CB x
PegNosePete Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Hey CB, glad it went well It sounds as though more than likely he is telling the truth. I would believe him, unless it becomes a pattern. He seems keen, try not to let other people's bad behaviour affect your perception of him. Get the second date pinned down... if he doesn't call you by tomorrow, call him. Nothing wrong with a woman taking initiative 2
Author CherryBlossom200 Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 Hey Pegnose Yeah it went really well! Literally it was a perfect date and I'm really attracted to him too which is a bonus! I guess if he wasn't interested he wouldn't of even contacted me the next day? I've dated such idiots recently it's so hard not to tar new guys with the same brush. I'm not freaking out because my gut instinct is he is telling the truth. We had an 8 hour date talking about a lot of personal stuff so I don't think he would lie. When do you think he would make contact to arrange the 2nd date? Tonight? xx
Author CherryBlossom200 Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 Argh ok I'm a little worried now, he hasnt been in touch yet to arrange mtg up this week. From what I understand if a guy really is into a girl he will be in touch most days even just to say hello? If he wants a mid week dates he isnt really forward planning which to me shows lack of interest? Maybe just me but in my experience it doesnt matter how busy he is he will be in touch? A text take 2 seconds to send? Am I jumping to conclusions?
Amelia81 Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 When did you last hear from him? I'm dating someone late thirties, and I don't hear from him every day and he doesn't do text conversations, just the odd couple specific ones. It's actually quite refreshing as I get tired of constant to and fro small talk in the early days. I think generally with older guys they will def be in touch if they are interested but it won't necessarily be every day. They seem to be a bit more old school, think along the lines of the three day rule! 2
Amelia81 Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 I just re read your post and my only concern is you met on Tinder, just be careful as I think it's more known for hook ups than relationships. I don't think I would use it to find someone.
Author CherryBlossom200 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 Hey Amelia, The guy I've met through Tinder have all been looking for LTR's, normally I can tell quite quickly if the guy is looking for something casual. But all the guys I chatted too were genuinely interested in finding out about me and my hobbies to see if we had anything in common. Ok, I'll see what happens. I'm just used to guys being a bit more 'aggressive' I guess when chasing me, they are normally in contact every day so this seems very different. But you are right, he isn't one for lots of small talk at all. It's pretty short, how are you etc but then sets up the date. I get the impression he prefers to chat in person...the last I heard from him was Sunday AM when he said he said he was sick but was hoping we could meet this week. I said yeah and he said fantastic, have a great day - speak soon with a kiss on the end. It's only Tuesday I know, but I would have thought if he was seriously interested and wanted a date during the week he would have set it up yesterday?! He isn't he alpha male type which is what I'm used to dating so perhaps a different style to what I'm used to?! Thoughts?! xx
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I met a guy online and he made vague noises about meeting up again soon for dinner, after our first coffee date. But never arranged it. After a few days I just texted: "Hey, hope you're well! If you still want to meet for dinner let me know, as I have a pretty busy schedule at the minute and it'd be a shame not to be able to find a time when we're both free before the year's out. Catch you later ' He never bothered to arrange dinner despite me telling him I was still interested and also going to be quite busy, so I could tell he was not interested. He had already mentioned getting a takeaway and watching a film, to which I said no because I'd rather meet someplace public for a meal when I hardly know him. When I sent this text he tried once again to suggest a takeaway and a film, at which point I wrote him off because either he was looking for sex, or he wasn't listening to anything I was saying to him. He got back in touch a week later asking if I was still up for a meal (not asking me on a date, asking me if I'd be interested if he DID ask me on a date) and I said: 'Thanks for the offer but I don't think we're a romantic match: all the best finding what you're looking for, it was great to meet you! Take care.' OP, personally I find it a little disrespectful if a guy suggests a date at some stage during the week but doesn't arrange it before the week commences. It sorta makes you feel as though you need to keep most of the days free in case he happens to get in touch and arrange something. I've got better things to do than keep seven days open in case a guy wants to meet on one of them, and so should you. I would message him and ask him if he still wants to meet because you have a few things on this week and take it from there. It's not desperate, it's assertive.
PegNosePete Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 OP, personally I find it a little disrespectful if a guy suggests a date at some stage during the week but doesn't arrange it before the week commences. Agree. And the best way to avoid that? Call, don't text. After you've both agreed that you want to meet up again you can arrange a day, time and place right then and there on the phone, instead of pinging messages back and forth for days. You also learn a lot more about how keen they are from their voice than you can ever fit into 160 characters or less.
winny Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Maybe he is still sick or something... There was one date that I went on around a month back. The guy was pretty enthusiastic with texting before and after the date. Complimented me n all. And at the end of the date, asked me to let him know when I would like to meet again. When I texted him a day later saying am available on so n so day - he said he is busy on that day. Still he texted me for a day or two after that and then it was all silence. 2 days after that when I texted him saying - Guess u r not interested. Good luck, he replied saying... you are great but am sorry I don't know what I want right now. So that ended. Next another guy I met over coffee, asked me 2 times during the date whether I am free on Sunday to meet. I said I don't have any plans. He said I will call you. But he never did and I also didn't reach out coz it was an okay okay date. I don't know why some guys say at the end of the date that they would like to meet again. Maybe they feel obligated or what... not sure. When I read your post, the guy does seem genuinely interested... But you never know... OLD sucks big time. Wait till Friday and move on if nothing till then... that's all I can say
Author CherryBlossom200 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 Well I decided to text him yesterday to ask if he was feeling better and he replied back almost instantly, his responses were really, really upbeat and postive. Seems he was genuinely ill and still suffering a bit yesterday. He asked me out on the 2nd text, we're meeting on Friday due to the mid-week tube strike. He then chatted a bit about his work (all unprompted) and his messages were really long..much longer then mine. So I guess all a good sign I think I didn't help myself on the first date, I did chat a little (after a few glasses of vino) about how I've been scared off recently by some guys I've dated in the past who were pretty full on. It was all in the context of the convo, but perhaps he was trying to not come across too keen. Who know's. I won't be doing that again! ha! But you live and you learn ;0) Who knows what will happen in the next date, hopefully will be as fun as the first date! But agreed if he doesn't line-up the next date properly again it will be an issue for me. In this case I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt due to his great response to my text. x 1
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