uongy Posted January 15, 2005 Posted January 15, 2005 hey guys.last night,i told my friend how i felt about her.i really love this girl,she has been through so much and i have real strong feelings for her. her response was "I like you a lot Mike, but as a friend. Ur one of my best friends. I couldn't risk losing u as a friend."now,it really hurt me.i was gutted.that was all she said to me.we havent spoken since,i called her just after but she didnt pick up.ive been told to give her space which im doing. now,deep down inside i want to be friends with her.i really do.and i know its early days and maybe my feelings will die down.i dunno. i just need some advice on how to handle the sitaution.i love her but if she just cant risk the friendship,then i can respect that. i dunno......im really mixed up.....any advice? thanks.
Miffy Posted January 15, 2005 Posted January 15, 2005 If she had stronger feelings than just friendship she would have took the opportunity to tell you when you opened up to her. The fact she didn't means you have to accept the fact that she just wants to be friends. What you need to decide is whether you can deal with just being friends with nothing more. If you are good friends it is likely that she has closed off because she is embarrassed about hurting you. I think the best way to tackle it is to put a big smile on your face and say that you appreciate her honesty, that you value her friendship too, that you are sorry that you embarrassed her but it is better to ask and know than to never ask! Reassure her that you only meant to flatter her and promise never to bring up the subject again. As for you, don;t restrict yourself to this one friend, open up new social calendar and move on - the girl of your dreams might be just around the corner. Love has got to be two ways and if she does not feel that way, you need to move on but maintain the friendship if you want to - good luck X
SuperFantastico Posted January 15, 2005 Posted January 15, 2005 Ha ha. Sorry man. I've been there. And it sucks. I would say, the best thing to do is to find something else to keep your mind off her. Maybe hang out with your friends. Because she gave you the 'just friends' thing, it means you dont have a chance with her at this time. Probably never will. The problem with trying to be her friend is, you will always have feelings for her and because you never will get resolution of them, you wont be able to be just her friend. And when she goes out with guys, she will tell you her best friend. and it will eat you up inside. Now this may seem a bleek and horrible future. You found the one, and she likes you as a friend right? Wrong, there is no 'one' out there. There are tons more who are very compatible. Belive me. I know exactly how you feel right now. I went through the exact same thing. And i would try to save you all the pain i went through. Only possible way for you to be friends with her and/or actually date her in the future, is to move on and date other girls. Anyways, i gotta run for a bit. here is a website that you will enjoy I was number 3 on the Futile Fugue. It helps to know it happens to more people then you. http://www.joelogon.com/platonic/
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