Luke12345 Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Ok so some of you might have seen some of my previous posts, I've been very up and down after coming out of a rocky 6 month relationship which was a major head****, I might still possibly love her even to this day and I don't know why because she's no good for me (I realise this now). So we broke up about a month ago, I've seen her since, we've talked, we've even slept together, she tells me she still loves me and then goes and does exactly the same thing that made me break up with her in the first place (not the point I'm making here so please don't ask about it, but yes it really hurt). The point is I truly realise now (no matter how much I fought all of you guys on it before) that NC might be the best way. I keep going back, it's good at first but then I just get hurt 10x worse than the time before. So I started this last night, deleted her off FB, off BBM, and I won't answer any calls or texts. This is my log, this is my place to vent, this is where I hope to get some support because I need it, this is day 1.
libertyme Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 I agree NC is the best. It's terribly hard at first. Maybe weeks into it, you'll still breakdown but never ever break NC. After awhile you'll find yourself fine and you can actually do it. This is my 5th month after NC. Funny thing is that I could handle the 1st 3 weeks really well. But on the 3rd week, I broke down and cried a river. Then 3 months later, I broke down again. So far, I'm feeling much better than when I was on my first few weeks. So, keep it up and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Try finding more support from friends and family. You'll feel better 1
Author Luke12345 Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 I agree NC is the best. It's terribly hard at first. Maybe weeks into it, you'll still breakdown but never ever break NC. After awhile you'll find yourself fine and you can actually do it. This is my 5th month after NC. Funny thing is that I could handle the 1st 3 weeks really well. But on the 3rd week, I broke down and cried a river. Then 3 months later, I broke down again. So far, I'm feeling much better than when I was on my first few weeks. So, keep it up and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Try finding more support from friends and family. You'll feel better Thank you liberty I really appreciate your support on this. Yeah it's tough to try and not think about her this early on, even if I am at work on my lunch break right now. I'm dreading the part where I go home and get a bit of thinking time alone, I know where my thoughts will be. But I'm currently working out a workout regime to improve myself and keep my mind preoccupied. After that's done god knows what though. I really want to get back on track, I've lost so much confidence and become someone I hate, I really need to find myself again, I think my friends see this too as they've all been a bit funny with me recently so I don't feel I can console in them right now. It's hibernation time then boom, here I am! Luke 2.0!
Author Luke12345 Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 Day 1 Complete So I went to work, I thought about her a little in my breaks and was tempted to look on her fb but didnt. It was fairly easy actually. I then went home, done my workout, had a big dinner and felt like I had accomplished something, i played a game on the Xbox but now its late there's not much to do and here's what I was worried about. Yes, I'm thinking of her argh!!! I took a sneaky peek at her fb, probably shouldn't have, I don't see any hurt on her behalf, I see a normal person living her normal life, I've received no texts at any reconciliation of what has happened, even though I wont text back I secretly want one for some reason. Don't really know what to do at this point, and I know I'm going to struggle to sleep again like I have for the last 2 months almost :/
TylerDurdenn Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Day 1 Complete So I went to work, I thought about her a little in my breaks and was tempted to look on her fb but didnt. It was fairly easy actually. I then went home, done my workout, had a big dinner and felt like I had accomplished something, i played a game on the Xbox but now its late there's not much to do and here's what I was worried about. Yes, I'm thinking of her argh!!! I took a sneaky peek at her fb, probably shouldn't have, I don't see any hurt on her behalf, I see a normal person living her normal life, I've received no texts at any reconciliation of what has happened, even though I wont text back I secretly want one for some reason. Don't really know what to do at this point, and I know I'm going to struggle to sleep again like I have for the last 2 months almost :/ Block her on Facebook. NOW
Author Luke12345 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 Ok so she's now blocked on fb for my own good. Thank u Tyler I didn't think of that. On to day 2 and I'm knackered unfortunately, 3 hours sleep over thinking things I guess this is bound to happen this early on though. On a positive note I had some other girl start messaging me last night, I'm by no means going to delve into anything but it was nice to be reminded there are others out there, she's really nice time to get to work anyway!
herself Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 You will have up days but many down days where it will be hard to focus, eat or sleep and sasness will come and you will find your self desperate to break NC and speak to her. Its like withdrawal from a drug. Saying these things so you know what to expect & you can prepare. It will be ok, so proud of your NC decision. Block her email & phone too so you arent looking for messages or able to see anything from her if she drops breadcrumbs. Were all here for you.
purplehues Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 (edited) Haha, this really made me laugh for some reason And best of luck to you, it's not easy. I went nc from day #1 and it's been 2 weeks now. Most days have been blah, but I had some good moments too. Keep reminding myself that she walked out on me, that she no longer cares for me like she used to, and that there is nothing I can do about that. None of it makes sense, NONE of it, but that's the only explanation I was given and that's all I can work with. It stings….I think what sucks about being dumped is that regardless of the circumstances, the underlying message seems to be that the dumpee wasn't good enough. At least for me. As such, it's a daily struggle to remind myself that sometimes 2 people are just not compatible and that the break-up is not necessarily a reflection of personal shortcomings. Also, as dumpees, I think that we are given an unparalleled opportunity to learn and grow. We'd be foolish to waste this time and not reflect on mistakes we made throughout the relationship. Basically, I'm certain that pain has a way of bringing out the best in us (and the worst). It's hibernation time then boom, here I am! Luke 2.0! Edited February 4, 2014 by purplehues 2
Author Luke12345 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 Yeah I have to keep reminding myself too that she is no good for me and that she is a bad person for how she treated me and that I deserve better, but then somehow, almost always, do the good memories creep in. It's like trying to defend a UV lights from moths the way they creep in. Anyway it's day 3, it's really tough today as I'm ill and I didn't go to work today so had a lot of thinking time considering I have no energy to do anything. I guess I could say that NC is helping but by God would I love to just be messaging her right now like we used to I'm not gonna lie. Anyone got any ideas to keep busy when your ill before I drive myself insane here?
Author Luke12345 Posted February 9, 2014 Author Posted February 9, 2014 Just coming to the end of day 8 of NC and God does it work. Feeling a lot better now, thinking of my ex a lot less even though 2 days ago I received a breadcrumb of her texting me simply saying 'Hey' which I have not replied to. I'd love if someone could explain why I would receive such a simple text and no follow up when I haven't replied if possible though, I'm interested to know what that means. Overall things are looking up
ithappenedagain Posted February 9, 2014 Posted February 9, 2014 That 'Hey' text meant nothing. She wants to know that you are still a text message away.. Good job on not replying.. Just remember.. While you are moping and having your bad days she is probably happy and not thinking about you even half as much as you are thinking of her. Like they all say. Breadcrumbs are NOTHING. Now if she comes to your apartment with a megaphone in her hand announcing to the world that she truly messed up by leaving you.. then we can talk Hang in there buddy. I am on Day 3 of NC. I broke NC last Thursday after 18 days and let me tell you.. WORST DECISION EVER. DONT DO IT MAN!
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