Armyguy123 Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Its been about 5 months post break up nearing 6. I'm getting back on my feet and able to go out. I've met a girl who's really into me. I like her buts its not nearly the same as the way I felt when I met my ex. I was 100% into my ex and had nothing holding me back from the start. Now with this girl I'm attracted to her but I find myself not caring enough. I am pretty much interested in the sex, and don't care for her romantically. After my ex dumped me where I put a lot of emotion and romantic energy into it I'm finding it very very hard to even do this for other woman at the moment. I'm becoming the guy I swore never to become; wanting to have sex with women and move on to the next one and not commit to any......or at least til I meet the right one. I'm going to hurt this girls feelings. I hate knowing that this will most likely happen. I don't wish the sort of pain I went through with my breakup on anyone. Hopefully this is just due to me knowing more about women now and not getting infatuated by one attractive one who showed interest while ignoring the problems. I now realize that I need to most likely remain single until I am 100% over my ex or find a girl that blows me off my feet, like what happened before. I miss what I had before but want even more to feel nothing for my ex, have a new healthy relationship with an even better young, intelligent, and beautiful woman.
justa_guy Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Hey Armyguy123, There's nothing wrong with being that guy, especially after a rough breakup, it's healthy to go out and meet different women and date around, not investing emotionally until you've looked for red flags and decided she's right for you, that's what dating is for. What isn't healthy is entering into an exclusive relationship when your not emotionally invested, it's all about honesty and communication really. You'll probably find that this girl has a high interest in you because of your indifference. Also it seems your goals are related to your ex or not wanting to hurt the current woman, but you're the one hurting, how about investing some time in you doing stuff for yourself, improving your health, working on a project that you're passionate about. Also you say this: "Hopefully this is just due to me knowing more about women now and not getting infatuated by one attractive one who showed interest while ignoring the problems." "I now realize that I need to most likely remain single until I am 100% over my ex or find a girl that blows me off my feet, like what happened before." These sound like contradictory statements, or maybe I'm reading it wrong. The bottom line is you're not a "player" if your being honest with women about where you are at and your expectations, without misleading them to thinking you may have an emotional investment when you don't. Chin up, you're doing great guy, keep focusing on "you" and not moving forward to have what you had, but be happy where you're at! A lot of guys on here (myself included) would be super happy just getting to the point you are at.
sportzhl24 Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Yes I agree with the above poster, you aren't doing anything wrong. I am in a similar position at the 6 month mark, getting out into the dating scene and testing the waters. As justa guy said don't lead girls on. Make it clear what the deal is. But that doesn't mean you can't go out and have a good time. A lot of girls are looking for the same thing! Be sensitive to the feelings of others, but don't overlook your own needs. Stay strong bro and things will get better. They always do 1
herself Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 I think its wrong unless you say upfront we are not dating, I am only in it for sex. Feeling used really REALLY hurts bad. Just be ckear. Dont hurt someone to heal. 5
Inviv_girl Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 I think its wrong unless you say upfront we are not dating, I am only in it for sex. Feeling used really REALLY hurts bad. Just be ckear. Dont hurt someone to heal. Please dont use this other woman to heal your wound from what your ex- put you through. This girl has nothing to do with whatever you have with your ex-, she maybe really into you and even love you more than your ex- does. It is really unfair to her to only be used by you and take advantage of. 6
shinealight Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 What inviv said this girl might really like you but is afraid to tell you. If you want to just have fun at the moment then tell her before she starts to get all serious with you.
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