newmoon Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 I work in a quiet office, but a guy (married, no interest or anything like that) comes over about 3x a week to chat with me about whatever comes to his mind. and his talks take anywhere between 30-45 minutes each time. he's very friendly and nice but I wish we could end these talks wayyyy sooner, like 5 minutes. he is disturbing my workflow. I don't want to be mean, but I need a way to ask/tell him to stop talking to me at length because it bothers me, stops me from working, and just... isn't something I want to do. I try not to talk back too much, as not to encourage him, so he spends a majority of this 30-45 minutes talking while I nod. I hide when i see him coming or quickly go run to an elevator or stairwell or something. he's about 60 and I'm 38, so it's not a romantic thing, just a bothersome coworker. how do I get him to stop??
Tayla Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 BE direct: The key is to mention and be direct that A: you are being paid to work B: You are on company time C: You are still friendly and professional. then proceed to do your job.
CC12 Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 "Well, it was nice chatting with you. I have to get back to work now. See you later." Or: "I'm swamped today so I really don't have time to chat, but we'll catch up next time, ok?" 1
preraph Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Well, first of all, him being 60 and you a lot younger, he probably IS trying to flirt, so don't assume otherwise. One office I was in only had one young 30ish woman and all the men, young and old hovered around her desk. It's pathetic. Anyway, you need to tell him flat out that you are too busy to talk, period. Next time he comes up, don't hesitate, act busy and say "Oh! I'm too busy to talk!" If he persists, tell him again "Hey, I've really got to get back to work." If he won't stop, report him. 1
Author newmoon Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 "I'm swamped today so I really don't have time to chat, but we'll catch up next time, ok?" this sounds like me, like something I would say easily. I'm gonna try this next time, thanks
90s kid Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I had a similar problem with an older co-worker. He would talk endlessly telling me details about his life that I didn't care about. The thing that pissed me off was the fact that he was talking 90% of the time so it wasn't even a two way conversation. Even when I would turn my chair around and disengage, he would keep talking. Clearly he was just looking for someone to talk AT because he didn't even care that I was basically a silent hostage. There's something very self-centered about people like that. Most people are able to notice social cues that someone is trying to get out of a convo. I would suggest politely saying "Sorry, I can't talk long. I have a lot of work to do." Otherwise, he may never get the hint. 1
whichwayisup Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I work in a quiet office, but a guy (married, no interest or anything like that) comes over about 3x a week to chat with me about whatever comes to his mind. and his talks take anywhere between 30-45 minutes each time. he's very friendly and nice but I wish we could end these talks wayyyy sooner, like 5 minutes. he is disturbing my workflow. I don't want to be mean, but I need a way to ask/tell him to stop talking to me at length because it bothers me, stops me from working, and just... isn't something I want to do. I try not to talk back too much, as not to encourage him, so he spends a majority of this 30-45 minutes talking while I nod. I hide when i see him coming or quickly go run to an elevator or stairwell or something. he's about 60 and I'm 38, so it's not a romantic thing, just a bothersome coworker. how do I get him to stop?? "Hey would love to chat but I'm really busy right now, have tons of work to do." Say that respectfully and nicely, he'll stop. 1
Author newmoon Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 I had a similar problem with an older co-worker. He would talk endlessly telling me details about his life that I didn't care about. The thing that pissed me off was the fact that he was talking 90% of the time so it wasn't even a two way conversation. Even when I would turn my chair around and disengage, he would keep talking. Clearly he was just looking for someone to talk AT because he didn't even care that I was basically a silent hostage. There's something very self-centered about people like that. Most people are able to notice social cues that someone is trying to get out of a convo. I would suggest politely saying "Sorry, I can't talk long. I have a lot of work to do." Otherwise, he may never get the hint. really funny! yeah, a silent hostage is what I am, lol
TaraMaiden Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 You know those desk signs, with your name on them, or position...? They're an inverted v-shape, but long. Have one made up, (or make one yourself) which says "Sorry, can't talk or listen - am very busy." Then when you see him approach, put it in a prominent position on your desk, where he can see it, without so much as a glance at him. If he still talks - tap it with your finger, or pen, but don't make eye contact, or speak to him. Carry on with your work. It won't take him more than 2 times for this to happen, for him to get the message.
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