cats Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 The man I have been in a relationship with for 4 years does not trust me because I lied on more than one occasion about having contact with and seeing a former lover who I promised not to have contact with (I have known the former lover 5 years and he has always been a close friend). What can I do, if anything, to try to establish trust?
Trep Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Well it sounds like all you have to do is exactly what he asked, cut the former lover from your life. Block the guy from all social media, block his phone number and whatever else you have to do and show your partner that you've done this. If you're not willing to do this then maybe you need to question yourself on who is the more important man in your life.
Tayken Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 The man I have been in a relationship with for 4 years does not trust me because I lied on more than one occasion about having contact with and seeing a former lover who I promised not to have contact with (I have known the former lover 5 years and he has always been a close friend). What can I do, if anything, to try to establish trust? Wow...so here goes BOLD 1: 4 yrs of continuous lie...I would have dumped you like yesterday. I mean do you blame him for not trusting you..try putting the shoe on the other foot for a second, what would you have done? BOLD 2: Who cares..it's irrelevant, you are with someone else now and you should have closed that chapter in respect to your new man. You chose to double dip and now you are crying wolf What can you do to establish trust? Well ..it will have to start by being honest to yourself, and only then would you be able to project that onto others Women wonder why guys freak out when they hear that their gf/spouse is friends with their old flames....it's because of stories like this
Joaquin Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 (edited) Are you for real? How do you establish trust? You dont lie and sneak around with an ex-boyfriend. The ex is an ex. Move on. Focus on your boyfriend. Grow up. That this has been going on for years is actually mind blowing. Most guys would have kicked you to the kurb long ago. Edited February 3, 2014 by Joaquin
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 It will take time. You tell the truth going forward. You offer him things like the ability to see your phone / texts, e-mail etc. You give him some proof about your whereabouts.
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