Driftking102 Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 (edited) So question all. My girlfriend and I are going to be hitting our one year anniversary really soon and my girlfriend does not like being in doors a lot. We have had sex many times throughout the relationship, but it all of a sudden dropped significantly. She told me she did not want one of those kind of relationships because she has had it before and didn't like it very much. She wants to have sex when she wants to be in the mood. Which I am fine with. I love this girl to death and do not want to break up with her. We are both very loyal to each other. Today she told me that she does not like being inside at all. I am a very inside person so my inside time is me time. My girlfriend is very much an outside person. I can be an outside person to and are more then welcome to come and hangout when she wants me to. I always say yes to hanging out and we hangout a lot outside. My question to you is Is she testing me to see if I can be a really loyal boyfriend past the one year relationship mark? Her past two boyfriends have all dumped her after the one year mark and I think it's because of this. I really want to be with her and I love her to death. I am willing to make it work and am wanting to continue meeting her needs. I am fine without having sex as often as long as I know I am not the problem. I don't want to be thought of as one of those guys. I am a very sentimental person and I always deliver on holidays, birthdays, and everything in appreciating my girlfriend. A lot of older women always say how thoughtful I am about my gifts and how they wish there boyfriends were more like me in the gift department. I would like to hear from females please. Edited February 2, 2014 by Driftking102
TylerDurdenn Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 She's asking you to jump, and you are asking how high. Don't get walked over. 5
SYLLPalmer Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Is she ever in the mood to have sex outside? This is really quite a strange requirement actually. If you live in Alaska she isn't worth it. IMO.
Eivuwan Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 I think there has to be a balance. Sometimes she can do things you like, sometimes you can do things she likes, and sometimes you can find things you both like to do.
Author Driftking102 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 She never does anything sexual outside. Making out is the farthest we ever get outside. Then we do sex and other inside stuff when shes in the mood after making out. She is very protective of me sometimes which I am okay with. This sounds like a test to me so I am going to keep being awesome and just go with the flow.
carhill Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 OP, can you clarify? Does 'outside' mean literally outside or is that socially 'outside' in that she prefers to be in groups and socialize? Conversely, same with your 'inside'. Do you prefer more one on one or alone time to being in groups. If it is simple inside versus outside, get a flat with a sliding door and a deck. Problem solved. If introvert versus extrovert, a lot more complex. The sex issue is separate. For a married couple, such issues can become 'irreconcilable differences'. Unknown what the results will be in your case. A couple questions: How would you rate your communication on these issues? Does she have a hard time being alone? As an example between those boyfriends, what was the longest continuous time she's been alone? Is she fine being by herself or is she always seeking or demanding your/others attention? ETA, if strictly about sex, disregard.
mammasita Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 I have no idea what you're asking. Nothing sexual outside? like at a park....at the beach.....in a car? Sex and other inside stuff? What? 1
Author Driftking102 Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 She does not like to cuddle for long periods of time inside. Probably an hour max. When we went our vacation in Summer 2012. We would do sex, cuddle, and everything for probably around an hour to 2 hours if she was in the mood. She really likes her space which I respect. She and I have talked about this and she said I could leave if I wanted to but I choose to stay. I really love my girlfriend and everything. Sex is not that important to me but getting it once a month would be an awesome concept sometimes. She mostly hangs out with me alone outside and we like spending quality time with each other. Other then that she keeps her friends and family separate from me and told me she will introduce them when she is ready which I assume after our one year anniversary. I know she is not cheating because she calls me everyday and talks to me on the phone for long periods of time and then we hangout for a long period of time mostly outside. Like I said I am fine with outside, I am more then willing live without having a girlfriend who loves the inside as much as I do. I guess in telling you guys this there's nothing else to discuss. I just don't know how someone can have no sex drive. I love this woman and am going to continue being with her as sex everyday is not necessary. More then once a month would be nice but is not necessary either.
TylerDurdenn Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 She does not like to cuddle for long periods of time inside. Probably an hour max. When we went our vacation in Summer 2012. We would do sex, cuddle, and everything for probably around an hour to 2 hours if she was in the mood. She really likes her space which I respect. She and I have talked about this and she said I could leave if I wanted to but I choose to stay. I really love my girlfriend and everything. Sex is not that important to me but getting it once a month would be an awesome concept sometimes. She mostly hangs out with me alone outside and we like spending quality time with each other. Other then that she keeps her friends and family separate from me and told me she will introduce them when she is ready which I assume after our one year anniversary. I know she is not cheating because she calls me everyday and talks to me on the phone for long periods of time and then we hangout for a long period of time mostly outside. Like I said I am fine with outside, I am more then willing live without having a girlfriend who loves the inside as much as I do. I guess in telling you guys this there's nothing else to discuss. I just don't know how someone can have no sex drive. I love this woman and am going to continue being with her as sex everyday is not necessary. More then once a month would be nice but is not necessary either. Can we have definitions of inside and outside please?
Author Driftking102 Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 Inside like being in an apartment and outside like being outdoors in public with tons of people.
Grumpybutfun Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 You sound accepting of all her conditions, so what exactly is the reason you posted? Why would someone test someone else about something this innocuous? G
SYLLPalmer Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 She does not like to cuddle for long periods of time inside. Probably an hour max. When we went our vacation in Summer 2012. We would do sex, cuddle, and everything for probably around an hour to 2 hours if she was in the mood. She really likes her space which I respect. She and I have talked about this and she said I could leave if I wanted to but I choose to stay. I really love my girlfriend and everything. Sex is not that important to me but getting it once a month would be an awesome concept sometimes. She mostly hangs out with me alone outside and we like spending quality time with each other. Other then that she keeps her friends and family separate from me and told me she will introduce them when she is ready which I assume after our one year anniversary. I know she is not cheating because she calls me everyday and talks to me on the phone for long periods of time and then we hangout for a long period of time mostly outside. Like I said I am fine with outside, I am more then willing live without having a girlfriend who loves the inside as much as I do. I guess in telling you guys this there's nothing else to discuss. I just don't know how someone can have no sex drive. I love this woman and am going to continue being with her as sex everyday is not necessary. More then once a month would be nice but is not necessary either. Sounds like either she doesn't really consider you her boyfriend (hence no introduction to family and friends) or she has some sexual trauma issues (hence requiring the outside as a means of avoiding sex). If you are cool with it then keep on doing what you want.
TylerDurdenn Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Inside like being in an apartment and outside like being outdoors in public with tons of people. Introvert (you) and extrovert (her) maybe?
superb Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 This is a strange post to me. I'm confused. Being outside and a sexual relationship don't seem to go hand in hand, unless she's asking for outdoor sex. Also, how old are you? Do you two live in a warm climate? And last....do you have issues with the outdoors? Oh yeah, are you really sure that she's being faithful? I don't think any man or woman would give up sex for no reason. In that case the relationship seems more like a friendship and how truly fulfilling is that? Considering you both have sex drives still anyway.
kaylan Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 (edited) So question all. My girlfriend and I are going to be hitting our one year anniversary really soon and my girlfriend does not like being in doors a lot. We have had sex many times throughout the relationship, but it all of a sudden dropped significantly. She told me she did not want one of those kind of relationships because she has had it before and didn't like it very much. She wants to have sex when she wants to be in the mood. Which I am fine with. I love this girl to death and do not want to break up with her. We are both very loyal to each other. Today she told me that she does not like being inside at all. I am a very inside person so my inside time is me time. My girlfriend is very much an outside person. I can be an outside person to and are more then welcome to come and hangout when she wants me to. I always say yes to hanging out and we hangout a lot outside. My question to you is Is she testing me to see if I can be a really loyal boyfriend past the one year relationship mark? Her past two boyfriends have all dumped her after the one year mark and I think it's because of this. I really want to be with her and I love her to death. I am willing to make it work and am wanting to continue meeting her needs. I am fine without having sex as often as long as I know I am not the problem. I don't want to be thought of as one of those guys. I am a very sentimental person and I always deliver on holidays, birthdays, and everything in appreciating my girlfriend. A lot of older women always say how thoughtful I am about my gifts and how they wish there boyfriends were more like me in the gift department. I would like to hear from females please. Ill be quick and frank. Seems like shes not exactly who you thought she was. And a sex drop like this usually leads to an end. She sounds like she has things she needs to take care of for herself. Let her find some outside hippie farm guy or something. Sex once a month is just unacceptable to me anyways. Id dump a girl if it got down to something like once every 2 weeks. Man up and find a woman on the same wavelength as you. These sexual issue can breed resentment, and its clear you both have different desires regarding a sexual relationship. Edited February 3, 2014 by kaylan
FitChick Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 (edited) Have you seen where she lives? Maybe it's in a homeless shelter. They make people leave in the morning and they can't come back until evening. That might explain you not meeting family and friends, too. Edited February 3, 2014 by FitChick
ExpatInItaly Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Have you seen where she lives? Maybe it's in a homeless shelter. They make people leave in the morning and they can't come back until evening. That might explain you not meeting family and friends, too. This? It's not so far-fetched when you consider her bizarre demands. There's something she's hiding, I'm sure.
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