I don't know whats going on!!

[LEEVIT2F8]

Well a couple things here. What do you guys talk about all the time? Have you sexted, talked dirty, planned to hook up in person? If none of that is happening then your friend zoned.

 

Next your spending a lot of time worrying about a girl that your not even hooking up with at the moment. I think maybe your settling for this fantasy girlfriend because your not confident enough to go out and meet girls.

 

She ditches on the phone and says shes going to bed only to get on facebook because your boring her. After 8 months of talking everyday she has long given up on you as a romantic interest.

 

You have what they call a crush young man. Enjoy it because as you get older they are few and far between. And you need to start meeting some girls on your campus. Your 18 and in college its the time to meet lots of people, have fun, and make some mistakes.

 

Now don't throw away the friendship just because she isn't into you like that. She thinks your a great guy just not for her. So when you get to the new school have her hook you up with her friends.

[BradJacobs]

Playing the game so that you don't lose is not the same as playing the game so that you win.

[ChessPieceFace]

She ditches on the phone and says shes going to bed only to get on facebook because your boring her. After 8 months of talking everyday she has long given up on you as a romantic interest.

 

First part is true, however just because she's currently friendzoned him doesn't mean it's 100% hopeless. She has a lot invested too and may realize it if it's taken away. He has to change the rules / his attitude and what he accepts from her.

 

OP, you need to regain your respect and let her know that even though you want her, you won't be a doormat anymore.

 

Here's my idea and it will seem crazy - make a play for her on valentine's day. A confident one. Let her know you want her to be your girlfriend, and you're not going to wait forever. You're telling her what you want, and you need to believe that you're worth it.

 

She will refuse.

 

Then, you need to avoid what you'll want most - wallowing in rejection and depression. Don't. Instead, accept it (or at least try to) and move on for now. Genuinely pursue other girls - not immediately, but maybe after a couple weeks. There's other girls out there, maybe you'll like one. Make it known that you're not gonna sit around pining away for her and hoping for her permission to be dated. DON'T break off contact with her entirely, because that will be retreating & projecting failure. DO let your contact diminish over time. DON'T be resentful. Try to remain positive and have confidence and self-worth.

 

IMO this is the only way to break out of the friend zone. I think it will be immensely difficult, but I can't see any other way out. You have to change the game. You'll put the seed in her head that you aren't afraid of rejection, that you know what you want, and she might just wonder if she made a mistake when she said no. And if not, at least you aren't pining away day after day for something that won't ever happen.

 

FYI, I've never tried it. But I didn't know back then what I know now. If I were giving my past self advice, this would be it.

[veggirl]

Date other girls! Seriously.

[Eternal Sunshine]

First part is true, however just because she's currently friendzoned him doesn't mean it's 100% hopeless. She has a lot invested too and may realize it if it's taken away. He has to change the rules / his attitude and what he accepts from her.

 

OP, you need to regain your respect and let her know that even though you want her, you won't be a doormat anymore.

 

Here's my idea and it will seem crazy - make a play for her on valentine's day. A confident one. Let her know you want her to be your girlfriend, and you're not going to wait forever. You're telling her what you want, and you need to believe that you're worth it.

 

She will refuse.

 

Then, you need to avoid what you'll want most - wallowing in rejection and depression. Don't. Instead, accept it (or at least try to) and move on for now. Genuinely pursue other girls - not immediately, but maybe after a couple weeks. There's other girls out there, maybe you'll like one. Make it known that you're not gonna sit around pining away for her and hoping for her permission to be dated. DON'T break off contact with her entirely, because that will be retreating & projecting failure. DO let your contact diminish over time. DON'T be resentful. Try to remain positive and have confidence and self-worth.

 

IMO this is the only way to break out of the friend zone. I think it will be immensely difficult, but I can't see any other way out. You have to change the game. You'll put the seed in her head that you aren't afraid of rejection, that you know what you want, and she might just wonder if she made a mistake when she said no. And if not, at least you aren't pining away day after day for something that won't ever happen.

 

FYI, I've never tried it. But I didn't know back then what I know now. If I were giving my past self advice, this would be it.

 

As a woman I have to agree, this would work well on me, if I was attracted to the guy at all. I doubt OP can excute this in his current emotional state though.

[d0nnivain]

Most women prefer confident men. You need to improve your own self talk to become less clingy & insecure.

 

 

The fact that she tells you she wants to get off the phone because she is tired & an hour later she's on FB tells me that she isn't as into you as you are into her. Being "tired" is an excuse. She just wants to get off the phone but doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

 

 

What is holding you back from asking her on a date? 8 months seems like an awfully long time to wait / get to know someone.

[KatZee]

Yeeeeeah. I hate to tell you man, but you're torturing yourself. Regardless if a girl says, "I want to be single and independent," if she met a man who blew her panties right the hell off, she'd be dating him in a hot second. She wouldn't want any other woman to have him and she'd be all over his D like white on rice.

 

You've been talking to her every day for 8 months? You're the gay best friend.

 

Pull back. If this was going to go anywhere, you would have known it 6 months ago.