JC07 Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Hi everyone. I have a 6 year old son. His mother broke up with me before he was born. She was 20 and I was 21. I have been an active father since day one and love fatherhood. Few weeks after my son was born she started dating. She dated this guy on and off for four years. And during those years she was nasty towards me, treating me bad and just bringing drama etc. It was hard for a long time because I just wanted to be a family but slowly but surely I had to move on. My ex ended her relationship a year ago and since then things between me and her have been great, no drama, very reasonable, understanding and just become good friends. It's what I always wanted and my son is benefiting from it too. The last 6 months though have got even better and old feelings I taught were gone started coming back. I have been trying to keep them at the back of my mind but they do crop up every now and then, just like now hence this post :-) I brought our son shopping over Christmas to get a present from him for his mom. I included a little note from me to her just saying how great things have been,the past is the past and how I will always be there for them no matter what. My intentions were good, I was not doing this to try win her back. I'm quite shy when it comes to talking about our past because it brought me a lot of pain. I would never say what I wanted to say and taught a note would be a good idea. Anyway she loved the note and since then we seem to be flirting a little bit. We make eye contact when either of us are leaving and smile at each other, it feels different to the courteous way. Since the note she wears a St.Christopher medal I got for our son for his last trip abroad. I also catch her looking at me and looking away. Part of me would love to be a family, but also part of me thinks its a bad idea. I also don't want to make a move as I could be reading the situation wrong. I fear the rejection as it could knock me back a few years but a part of me wants to try because then I will know for sure where I stand and can finally move on. Should I do anything or just leave it as it is? Thanks so much for reading, I tried my best to keep it short. I failed :-) Take care.
Author JC07 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 Hi Cory. Thank you for replying. Yes it would be cool if things worked out with her, I would like to be a family. If it doesn't then I'm ok with that too. I'll just continue to be there for them and get on with things. I never bring drama or do anything that might upset her since our son was born. I keep my private life to myself and just be there for them. I don't bring drama and never have. She was the one that caused grief between us. I was angry with her for years because of it but I never showed it. In my mind I have forgiven her. I said as much in the note I sent her, I said the past is the past basically. I have been there since day one, I have never missed my time with my son and have always paid his child support. We broke up because I was immature at the time, I smoked weed since I was 13 and by the time I was 21 I had a few mental issues from it. Paranoid etc. I was a bit over jealous and slightly overbearing but I never hurt her or raised my voice. I was just an idiot. I have been of weed about 4 years now and them issues went away with it. I'm the total opposite now. Shame I never gave it up before we met but that's just the way it is. No matter what happens between us I will always be there for them. I would seriously think about us again if I knew she wanted to give it a chance but maybe It's for the best that we don't. But there is always "What if". I feel the ball is in her court to make the next move, would you agree? Thanks and take care
Ronni_W Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 You're both 6 years older...and hopefully a little wiser Since she is only a year out of her relationship, it might be better to stay a little emotionally detached for a while longer. But totally keep up the flirting and occasional nice note or pretty flower or together taking your son to some kids' movie or the park Valentine's Day is coming up...the three of you for ice cream or hot chocolate? Maybe the day before or after? But don't bring roses or anything over-the-top romantic. For sure, though, a Valentine's gift for her from your son...but with a note from HIM this time: Mom you are the best mom, or something like that. PS: Forget about whose ball is in which court. Game-playing. Just stay in the moment with her while listening to your heart and using your logic.
Author JC07 Posted February 8, 2014 Author Posted February 8, 2014 Hi Ronni. Thanks for the solid advice it's much appreciated. Take care
Author JC07 Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 Cool, that's what I was thinking too so it's good to hear. Thanks for the reply Cory. Take care dude.
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