jcm101 Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 So I met a girl off Tinder and we went for coffee Fri. I thought it went well, solid convo, both laughing a lot, etc. I texted her when I got home that I had a great time meeting you and such and we should def do it again. She sent a responsive text saying yes def blah blah and she had a great time. Did not text yesterday but I texted her today. I then asked her her schedule and she said her days off. I said Wed is good as I have no class and asked her out bowling. She sounded happy I texted her and then I get the dreaded.."i'll let you know" after I asked her out. She basically said she'll let me know as it gets closer.
Danger Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 So I met a girl off Tinder and we went for coffee Fri. I thought it went well, solid convo, both laughing a lot, etc. I texted her when I got home that I had a great time meeting you and such and we should def do it again. She sent a responsive text saying yes def blah blah and she had a great time. Did not text yesterday but I texted her today. I then asked her her schedule and she said her days off. I said Wed is good as I have no class and asked her out bowling. She sounded happy I texted her and then I get the dreaded.."i'll let you know" after I asked her out. She basically said she'll let me know as it gets closer. Very bad sign. Generally what the "I will let you know" means is, "I will go if I don't get an offer from someone better". My advice is to NOT tell girls you "had a great time" when you text them again. If you are texting again, there is no need to verbalize you enjoyed it, as you are already showing it. My second piece of advice is not to ask when girls are free, but instead to just say "I'm going to xxxx on Wednesday, you should join me if you can." This way you are not left waiting on whether she goes or not, your plans are already solidified and if she doesn't join, then it doesn't affect your plans at all. Finally, at this point with the girl you are dealing with, I would just respond and say "Let's pick a time when you are more sure of your schedule, I'll get back to you", and then just leave it at that and don't bother with her again. It's a waste to spend your time on someone of such limited interest. 3
Author jcm101 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 Very bad sign. Generally what the "I will let you know" means is, "I will go if I don't get an offer from someone better". My advice is to NOT tell girls you "had a great time" when you text them again. If you are texting again, there is no need to verbalize you enjoyed it, as you are already showing it. My second piece of advice is not to ask when girls are free, but instead to just say "I'm going to xxxx on Wednesday, you should join me if you can." This way you are not left waiting on whether she goes or not, your plans are already solidified and if she doesn't join, then it doesn't affect your plans at all. Finally, at this point with the girl you are dealing with, I would just respond and say "Let's pick a time when you are more sure of your schedule, I'll get back to you", and then just leave it at that and don't bother with her again. It's a waste to spend your time on someone of such limited interest. Yeah, it's obviously bad sign as she clearly said she was off from work, so it's seems she's just now thinking of excuse. I don't udnerstand though why she wouldn't just say she was busy this, but w/e. Thanks for advice. I just responded alright no problem.
Danger Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Yeah, it's obviously bad sign as she clearly said she was off from work, so it's seems she's just now thinking of excuse. I don't udnerstand though why she wouldn't just say she was busy this, but w/e. Thanks for advice. I just responded alright no problem. Stating she was busy avoids the confrontation that women absolutely hate. They speak in the covert. So the best she can do is say "ok I'll let you know" and then disappear. There are some cases where they come back and say "ok I am free", but never, ever mistake that for interest. You are just filling a void for her and you most certainly are not choice number one. Bad news for you and just wasted time and resources on your part. Good luck mate.
ktya Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Dont read too much into it. It is a bad sign but remember girls get the same bad advice us guys do about not appearing too available. Ive been sleeping with a girl who started out like that it drove me kind of nuts because if she wasnt coming over i could spend my saturday drinking with my roomates but if she was coming over id keep a lid on it. But it progressed into her missing me, wanting to see me, even coming over on the way to the grocery store and us ending up going at it in the sack for two hours, then she went on her merry little way got her groceries and then came back for more lol. It could also mean that her friends are wanting to hook up with her and they are known to flake out on her or just call her out of the blue and those are her days off. Above posters are not wrong though you do know she has a day off and she wont comitt to a time so dont sit on pins and needles just carry on with your life. I lined up a date with this 26 year old and was trying to lock down a place and time that said that. We were going to go out for drinks on friday night - and i wanted to know for sure that we were on. Luckily i lined up another date and i didnt get the cancellation from her until 830pm when i was out with he other girl. Boy was i glad i didnt wait around. So dont read too much into it but dont keep the slot open either. If she gets back to you an hour before the time you suggested and you have made other plans just reschedule with her and keep your plans. You cant let her feel like youll sit around waiting for her because then the behavior will just continue
Author jcm101 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 Thanks. Yeah, it's weird because he sounded happy I texted her, but I know whenever a girl says that, it's not good. She said exactly.."i'll def. let you know as it gets closer to wed"..This seems worse with how our convo went because she told me she has Wed. off. Why wouldn't she just make an excuse like I might have to do something Wed? Ugh, I hate dating lol. So what happens though if she does agree to meet up? Am I basically going into the date feeling im just being used? Or do I just go in trying to know her better and regain any lost interest?
Author jcm101 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 Should I even go if she does agree to go? I feel i'd just be like a 2nd option or just something for her to do as she has nothing else too. I really hated seeing she say she has off and then ask her out that day and she just says the above and not even like a made up excuse. What should I say if she does say she can't? Whatever, it is what it is. Not going to get distraught over it.
Danger Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Should I even go if she does agree to go? I feel i'd just be like a 2nd option or just something for her to do as she has nothing else too. I really hated seeing she say she has off and then ask her out that day and she just says the above and not even like a made up excuse. What should I say if she does say she can't? Whatever, it is what it is. Not going to get distraught over it. I wouldn't go for the reasons I already stated. The fact that you are dwelling on it shows that on some level you are willing to be the 2nd option. She will sense that and be completely turned off by it.
PegNosePete Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 This is why you should CALL not text. You would know instantly if she was really up for it from her voice, tone, etc. And you could have pinned her down to a definite yes or no much more easily, rather than waiting days for a vague response then days more for clarification. 1
Author jcm101 Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 I wouldn't go for the reasons I already stated. The fact that you are dwelling on it shows that on some level you are willing to be the 2nd option. She will sense that and be completely turned off by it. Alright, so don't go? I will 100% not go if she texts me late Tues night/Wed morning for sure. 1
Author jcm101 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 No texts from her so far today. She'll likely text me tomorrow night or Wed early, but I can also see her not at all. Now, what should I text back i neach scenario... She says yes to Wed... "Sorry, figured Wed. was not good so have other plans" She says no to Wed...just don't respond? what if she offers to reschedule? I know it sounds like im hung up on this girl, but im really not. I'm just asking this in future events so I know.
Phantom888 Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 She's not interested. Sorry. She likes you as a friend, but she doesn't want to proceed romantically. Hint: Girls who are interested would drop everything to see you again. Only exceptions are family emergencies or truly dire situations. Other than that, they would clear their schedule to make room for you. Hope you find someone that feels that way about you. I'm sure you will. 1
rewl Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 No texts from her so far today. She'll likely text me tomorrow night or Wed early, but I can also see her not at all. Now, what should I text back i neach scenario... She says yes to Wed... "Sorry, figured Wed. was not good so have other plans" She says no to Wed...just don't respond? what if she offers to reschedule? I know it sounds like im hung up on this girl, but im really not. I'm just asking this in future events so I know. She flat out disrespected you. You shouldn't go out with her, even if she reschedules, it's way too late for that. Also, thinking hard about what to reply to a text message only matters when you CARE about the person or if you plan to SEE them again. If you don't care about this girl (and you shouldn't) then it makes no difference at this point. Forget her.
Author jcm101 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 She flat out disrespected you. You shouldn't go out with her, even if she reschedules, it's way too late for that. Also, thinking hard about what to reply to a text message only matters when you CARE about the person or if you plan to SEE them again. If you don't care about this girl (and you shouldn't) then it makes no difference at this point. Forget her. lol I don't really care, just asking for the future. Yeah, she did kind of disrespect me. After I ask you what day off and you tell me and then I ask you for one of the days, you say i'll let you know near Wed..lol
winny Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Just try to wait patiently till Wednesday. You will get your answer...
ascendotum Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Very bad sign. Generally what the "I will let you know" means is, "I will go if I don't get an offer from someone better". My advice is to NOT tell girls you "had a great time" when you text them again. If you are texting again, there is no need to verbalize you enjoyed it, as you are already showing it. My second piece of advice is not to ask when girls are free, but instead to just say "I'm going to xxxx on Wednesday, you should join me if you can." This way you are not left waiting on whether she goes or not, your plans are already solidified and if she doesn't join, then it doesn't affect your plans at all. Finally, at this point with the girl you are dealing with, I would just respond and say "Let's pick a time when you are more sure of your schedule, I'll get back to you", and then just leave it at that and don't bother with her again. It's a waste to spend your time on someone of such limited interest. I agree it means "I will go if I don't get an offer from someone better", unless they offer a valid explanation and commitment to reschedule. I personally don't think its bad to say you had a great time the night before. I know you think its implicit, but I still think lots of women like to hear that's the basis of you contacting them again, and not their looks or because they got nothing else better going on. (but that can still be the case) I agree with the "I'm going to xxxx on Wednesday, you should join me if you can." In this case though with bowling, there is the chance she might get negative connotation in her head....'so this guys a bowler and goes every Wednesday to practice on his own. Eeww I'm not into bowling types '. I guess it depends how many people have Wednesday evenings planned. For a Friday or Saturday I definitely agree its better not to put aside other plans in the hope the girl will go out with you + its shows you are living an active life. With her "I let you know' response back definitely he should make other plans, and be open to change them depending on how soon she gets back to him.
Author jcm101 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 Update.. No text from her. Most likely won't even hear from her, but I don't really care. If she does tomorrow, not responding.
winny Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 Update.. No text from her. Most likely won't even hear from her, but I don't really care. If she does tomorrow, not responding. Hmmm... don't worry u have company
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