eddiegordo Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Hey, I have been seeing this girl for 3-4 months but I broke up with her last week... now I feel like crap, I will explain the story and could do with some advice. I came out of a long term relationship and moved house, long story short there were 2 girls living in this house and one of them made it glaringly obvious she really liked me. She tried sleeping with me after 2 weeks of me living there but she had a "**** buddy" who I had seen come around, and I said I didn't want to because he was her boyfriend. The next night she spoke to me and said she was going to speak to him (I was saying relax as we had only seen each other for 2 days). So that Friday she went and saw her ex, she said it was going to take a while, she went to his after work @ 7 but did not get home until 2 am, obviously I had my doubts but this girl is extremely social and she does talk forever, so I gave her the benefit of my trust. Where I live there was a second girl who I got along with (friends with my now ex girlfriend), she always hugs me a lot and basically it drove the girl I was seeing insane with jealousy, we always used to row about it, however I was never going to completely stop doing it as I felt it was unfair of her to be so jealous about me hugging her friend when I had to show blind trust to her about her ex boyfriend. About 6 weeks into the relationship, it was her birthday, she got really drunk and her ex **** buddy was also there, she did not do anything wrong but when she was dancing he came up behind her and tried grinding on her (she was ****ing drunk and did not realize), it was her birthday so I did not want to ruin it, and she was truly so ****ing drunk she could not stand up 20 mins after her ex tried dancing with her. She also told me the next day that he had tried to kiss her 2 times. She also refused to tell him about me at the start as it would hurt his feeligns (I understand this - its ok), but 2 weeks ago I walked in her room and she told me to be quiet because she was on the phone to him, this was over 3 months into our relationship, I sort of ignored it for the time being but like the other things it ate away at me over time. The above paragraph is basically the route of my paranoia about this girl, she is extremely social and is always speaking to boys and girls on the phone, she is a foreigner in my country so its understandable she has to/wants to be in contact in this way, and although in my head I tried to be ok with it, in my heart it made me very uncomfortable, I was never 100% sure about being completely open with her as I really felt I was going to be hurt. 2 weeks ago she told me she loved me and I said nothing back... I did not know if I could risk showing my heart on my sleeve with her... My main issue in the relationship was being able to treat her like a proper girlfriend, I did not feel like I was the only boy in her life, so I refused to show how much I cared about her, in short I was a dick sometimes, I just ignored her for a few days at a time if she started a fight with me, as in my head I kept saying how can have the right to be so jealous when I have had to trust her so much? So last weekend we had an amazing weekend, we did not argue, everything was perfect, we spent Friday night, saturday and sunday together. On sunday, we were watching tv, and I decided I needed to do something, I got up, I said to her I am going to say hello to our housemate (the one she got jealous about) and then go to my room for a while, she basically exploded and locked me out of her room when i tried to come back 30 mins later, she barely spoke to me all night and then was just texting a boy from her country for 2 hours, walking around smiling, something inside me snapped and I thought I can't be with her as I am just going to get hurt. I broke it off with her, she went absolutely crazy all week, she was outside my bedroom window at 1.30 am on a worknight speaking loudly to another man in italian (she is italian), I wanted to tell her how I felt and that I don't trust her but I do truly love her, but she refused to speak to me all week, we live in the same house but she just said she was too busy. She told me eventually that she is now "indifferent" to me and she does not care anymore, she told me she loved me 2 weeks ago so I just don't understand. It is killing me, I always knew I loved her but I did not expect it to be this bad, I have felt like **** all week, I miss her all the time, and we live in the same house, she lives in the room above me so if she goes out and stays out all night, I am going to know about it and there is nothing I can do to change it. Today we spoke and I said how much I loved her, that I do want to be with her, she said she felt nothing. I said just give me an answer, because if it is no I have to move house as I can't live with her under these conditions, it is driving me crazy. She just stared at me, and then started kissing me and hugging me, she didn't give me an answer but then she said no tonight. Please understand this is from my point of view, and I am sure a lot of women especially would say I acted like a dick in the relationship as I was too cold, which may well be true, but I was just trying to stop myself from being hurt. Can people please give me some unbiased opinions on whether or not I made the right choice? Sorry for the long post.....
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