romeo611 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 (edited) Hello Everyone! First time here, I'm not sure if i'm in the right thread but anyway here's my story. My ex gf and I broke up 9 months ago. She broke up with me because she thought that I was busy all the time making her feel that I was rejecting her and thinking that there's no "spark" in our relationship. After we broke up I still pursue on asking her to give me a chance to explain everything but she never did instead she ask me to stay out of her life. I was really hurt and I know I hurt her too. The time when she's breaking up with me I was gonna told her the reason why I wasn't visiting her all the time or asking her on a date. I ain't cheating nor being busy all the time. I can't tell her when we were together that I wasn't earning enough money for my freelance job that everything I earned are all counted for my daily needs that visiting her are always sacrificed because I have to support my sister's education. But I don't have the guts to tell it to her when we were together because I'm not kind of person who always share or tell what's happening in my life. I didn't let her know who I really was even though I know in myself that It is not healthy in a relationship to hide things. It's been 9 months now and I still love her and thinks about her. I know I made bad decisions and I regret it. When we broke up, I decided to change myself. I applied for a full time job, change the way I look, the way I talk or socialize, I even go to a date. I did the best I could to align myself in the right direction and yet I still love and thinks of her all the time. This coming valentines day I was thinking of sending her a couple of white roses. I'm not expecting anything in return just want to brighten up her day and it makes me happy. What do you think guys? Should I or should I not send her flowers? Will it trigger her to get mad at me again? Hoping for your kind advice's. Thanks Edited February 3, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator change Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 romeo, is she in another relationship? has she contacted you since the break-up? if she has not contacted you since, then you should leave her alone. she is likely getting over or gotten over you. if she has been and in another relationship, leave her alone. IF she has been in contact and single, go for it, but be prepared to be rejected. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I am sorry, I do not think that sending flowers is a good idea. She asked you to stay out of her life. You probably hurt her. You could sent a letter but expect it not to be read, better write it for yourself. Try to bring your knew knowledge to the next relation and communicate!! Communication is the most important thing during every human interaction and especially in a relationship.I am sorry it went this way, next time try to be more open. If that girl does not like what she hears than she is not the right one for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 No.................... Link to post Share on other sites
Armyguy123 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 she thought that I was busy all the time making her feel that I was rejecting her and thinking that there's no "spark" in our relationship that's the reason she broke up with you. the first is probably just a logical BS thing she came up with to justify what she did. She fell out of love with you, and love is something you cannot control, just like you are still in love with her. DO NOT! I REPEAT DO NOT SEND FLOWERS! you will become that weird desperate ex. women do not like desperate men. All you can do now is move forward. I have the same thoughts too sometimes man. but the way I see it is I will trade another few months or even a year of being upset over my breakup for a lifetime of happiness with another woman that I get to settle down with. good luck buddy, everyone on here is here for ya. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 It is unbelievable bad idea. I sent much more original gift I put a great deal of imagination into. I haven't received as much as Thank you. Yes, she's worthless but go figure how will you fare. Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Maybe dead flowers, she dumped you dude. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Maybe dead flowers, she dumped you dude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Winter blue Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Not a good idea OP, not after NC for 9 months, you need to communicate first like another poster said. Even in the best case senario, that she is single and still think of you sometimes, you most likely will make her mad at you again because, a bunch of flowers without any explanation will be seen as a lame attempt at it's best. Don't say you don't expect anything in return because you do. Link to post Share on other sites
Winter blue Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 no offend but lol Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 no offend but lol It's supposed to be funny! I'm glad you laughed. Just lightening the mood... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 No - she's an "ex", so keep her that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Jord11 Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 I've been in no contact with my ex just over a year now and I'd never ever ever send her anything especially flowers, It won't mean s*it too her, she would probably put them in water and walk away enjoying the rest of her day, that's the way she is, it won't change anything, save you're money and forget about this girl that's what I did, she doesn't deserve anything from me I spent enough money on her in the past and look what it got me absolutely nothing, she will just get silence from me because that's what she deserves and you should do the same thing, it sucks it's hard, but just disappear from her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
libertyme Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Hi. This is just my 2 cents. My situation is opposite of yours and quite similar in some ways. My ex was busy all the time making me feel that he was rejecting me and i felt he doesn't like me anymore. But the difference is that, he dumped me. I wished he would come back but for me to accept him again, he would need to be a renewed man. so... From what i can tell, if you are ready to face the fact that you can accept whatever outcomes (she may or may not come back) after sending the flowers, I say why not? give yourself and her a chance. show her how much she meant to you sincerely, show her how much you are willing to go for her and going all out the way to woo her back. but if you have done all and it doesn't work out, at least you have done what you have set out to and you won't have any regrets and can move on. I hope to hear good news from you. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 That's a very bad ideea, it's like going to a restaurant and skipping first and second courses and going directly to desert. Test the waters first and go from there..... The ideea is DON'T send flowers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author romeo611 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 Thanks everyone, I appreciate everything you guys said! Honestly, I still have feelings for her. Sometimes I felt like I already move on and doesn't think or care at her yet my mind keeps playing tricks at me. I'm not sure if some guys here felt this way also. But i know someday this feeling will go away. Link to post Share on other sites
somethingsomething Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 I'm not sure if some guys here felt this way also. But i know someday this feeling will go away. The cold hard truth is that if you don't do anything about the negative feelings, it won't go away for a long time. Like everyone before me, If you're strong enough to send flowers and not expect anything back, then go for it. The safest path is to go NC and move on with your life. It sucks but what alternatives do you have? “You can’t turn love on and off like a light switch, no matter how hard you try. All you can do is wall it off, one brick at a time, until you’ve created an impenetrable fortress around your emotions. And once that fortress is built, you camouflage it so well that even you can’t see it anymore.” ― Katherine Allred, The Sweet Gum Tree Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 My ex boyfriend sent me flowers on my birthday and it made me quite uncomfortable, because I didn't want to give him any hope and at the same time I knew he would be very offended and hurt if I didn't receive them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author romeo611 Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 I only have one option even though it hurts a lot. Instead of giving her flowers. I decided to ignore her and continue to move on instead. I am already hurt and i know its time to continually move forward. I can't take each day being feeling so lonely or depressed. I want to focus first on myself and need to improve more. We had a common friend and are close to me, the problem is, she used to ask me about my ex. My ex and I agreed that we won't tell it to our friends but it seems that i had the feeling that our common friend knows something about us and keeps asking or keeps me update where or what my ex does now. This pushed me to stay away from our friend caused the way she ask me most of the time it brings back the time when my ex and I are still together and makes me feel more depressed. Is there anything I could do to this? I don't want to avoid our friend cause she's been good to me though she might or might not know anything about my previous relationship with my ex gf. Whenever she talks about my ex whereabouts, I change the topic or discussion just to avoid the conversation. Am I doing the right thing? What should I do? Should I confront our friend to stop telling or updating me about my ex then tell her instead the truth that my ex and I went into a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Yes, you are entitled to ask not to be updated about your ex whereabouts. Link to post Share on other sites
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