Talk to him more?

[lilyblue]

Hi - thanks for any feedback -

 

I dated this guy for about 3 months last summer. He then went out of the country (which I always knew was going to happen). About two months ago we started talking again, and a month or so later he told me he was coming back. He told me that he was looking forward to seeing me, hanging out, going biking, etc, but that he was probably going to date other people because he wanted to find someone who doesn't want kids.

 

So, fast forward a month, he's back, we hang out a few times and have a great time. He's talking about upcoming things we can do, telling me how much fun he's having, etc. Then a few days later I text him to tell him I'm stopping by his work (where I also work) and he says great, let him know when I'm there, but sadly he was off the market. But he would still love to see me. Obviously the timing was a bit of a shock. So we chat and he says he really likes me, but he was in a two year relationship before me where she wanted kids and it was too heartwrenching to figure that all out and end it (he's mentioned this before). So he has told himself that he's not going to do that again. So he went out with someone he just met once, and she doesn't want kids, and she doesn't want to date anyone who is dating other people, so he's going to date just her. Seems a little premature, but I guess that's besides the point. Then we spent like 15 minutes saying goodbye, I got in my car and left and watched him in the rearview mirror as he looked back at me three times as I drove away.

 

Meanwhile, I don't even know if I really want kids. And I really like him. I'm getting kind of old, and life just doesn't really seem to be going in that direction. I didn't bring that up at the time though, as it seemed really weird to be like "but I don't really even want them, pick me!".

 

I know the standard answer is "just get over it". But I'm not sure we're so incompatible and I don't know if I should try and talk about it more. I really really want to. We have so much fun together and a lot of me just wants to try.

 

Thanks

[ktya]

Watch the movie when harry met sally

 

You could go down that road or look for something more immediate.

 

Dont shelve your idea of having kids for one guy.

 

For all you know he could get this girl pregnant in the next month and turn out to be overjoyed at the prospect of being a father, and if your still focused on him it will obliterate your heart.

[lilyblue]

Thanks for the reply.

 

Well, the possibility of him having a child is medically very very unlikely. So chances are that won't be happening.

 

He's the only thing close to anyone I'm interested in around, and I have been trying and trying.

[ktya]

You could wait and wait... But if he knows that he could hook you at any time and jumps into exclusivity with another girl so fast your probably not going to get what your looking for out of him.

[lilyblue]

I just feel like I'm less attached to what he thinks I have planned for my life than he thinks I am. But not sure how to express this without sounding like I'm flip flopping all over the place.

[newmoon]

I'm confused? he came back and hooked up with another girl and wants to date her. where do you even fit in?

[lilyblue]

I'm not sure what you mean by "fit in"?

[floranfrancis]

Today, Online is the best platform to date with other either male or female. The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. Healthy relationships are a vital component of health and well-being. There is compelling evidence that strong relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and happy life.

[lilyblue]

Still thinking and thinking about this. I miss him a lot. ugh.