Bryanp Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 You would have to be a masochist to stay with you. She does not care about screwing men in your home and in your bed. Are you an idiot? GET A PATERNITY TEST NOW. You need to be sure. Do you really want to pay for the next 18 years for someone else's child?
Author the hottness Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 You would have to be a masochist to stay with you. She does not care about screwing men in your home and in your bed. Are you an idiot? GET A PATERNITY TEST NOW. You need to be sure. Do you really want to pay for the next 18 years for someone else's child? Uhh why would you think im an idiot? I dont NEED to be sure. Regardless of what a test says, her birth certificate says im her father. My brain, and heart and whatever sort of soul a person has tells me im the father. If i have to pay child support, it will be because im the father.
oldshirt Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Good god what a terribly cold and greedy statement. No, what's greedy, cold and heartless is to bang some random dude you met at the bar that made your jay-jay tingle and get knocked up but then make some poor sap that is hopelessly in love with you think that he is the father so he is the one up changing poopy diapers in the middle of night and paying all the bills for it for the next 20 years. That's where the cold, heartless greed comes into play.
painfullyobvious Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 She wants an open relationship (which really is not that open) but wants you to stay on the sidelines to meet her needs whatever they are. She continues to lie and cheat and it doesn't help that you keep taking her back. See how she immediately broke it off with you for a month once you cheated and were dishonest. This relationship id hypocritical and full of double standards. You are not in an open relationship. You are her backup plan for when she is having fun with others. You say you love her but what are you getting from this "relationship" that fits your needs? You found others while in your open relationship and you will find someone more suitable for you after you end this relationship. You are not happy its obvious. If you want an open relationship that's fine but even in an open relationship she is dishonest. Sounds like a lot of baggage to handle. My ex was full of double standards too about what was acceptable for her and not for me. It drove me crazy and stressed me out. This was before the cheating. You need to draw a line in the sand about honesty, cheating and boundaries. She doesn't respect you because you keep taking her back. You have a major head case on your hands here. She wants the cake and eat it too. Good luck 1
Bryanp Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 I guess you don't mind risking your health on getting STD's. Amazing. 2
Author the hottness Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 I guess you don't mind risking your health on getting STD's. Amazing. sorry, i missed the section in sex ed when they proved that only men who are getting cheated on are susceptible to STDs
xAkulax Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 simplest answer don't marry her she damaged goods
No Limit Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 >Around the 2 year mark, i went to work but was told i could go home. When i came home she was in bed with another guy. She cried and begged for forgiveness. I forgave her. I quit fully reading your post right after that line and the rest had my jaw drop. This has never been a true marriage between you two, and you can't seriously tell me that an open marriage, when there's a chance of at least 50% that this baby is not yours, is normal. Open marriages don't have children. Sounds to me like you wanted a family, she wanted sex, but you were readily throwing a very possible future with a real woman away just to be with her. At some point, it's unbelieveable how much human beings can love one another. And yet it scares me how people make use of that. I bet her ex loves you too for paying everything for his bed lover and taking care of a kid nobody can be sure of who it might be from without question while he can have fun with her. Personally I've never even heard of a case which is anything like yours. I'd suggest you sit down, turn everything off which might distract you, mobile, computer, TV, everything really, and ask yourself what it really is you want. Do you really think you are destined to be with someone like this person? And truth be told, it was only a matter of time before she'd leave you. Be backbone-ish. 2
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Ive been with my fiancee for 5 years. We dated for 2 years and i asked her to marry me 3 years ago. The plan was to marry last year, but it never happened. Ill get to the meat of the details and then see if anyone can relate or give me advice Early in our relationship, she has always chatting on messenger with other guys. I became aware to this about 9 months in. I told her it upset me and she said it would stop. Around the 2 year mark, i went to work but was told i could go home. When i came home she was in bed with another guy. We decided after that, we should try an open relationship. I do have very good reason to believe she didn't tell me about a few other guys she fooled around with. She flirted with a ton of guys online though. I constantly begged her to give me the details about her conversations but she would change the subject or lie. One day, I came home from work early and she was blowing some guy in our house. My fiancee got super jealous and called off the open relationship. I had sex with both of the girls several times but she didnt know. I told her i had to work one day but ended up having sex with one of the girls, she found out and we broke up for a month. We still had sex on occasion though. Right now she is chatting with an ex boyfriend from years ago. My fiancee has always worshipped this guy. She's slapped me several times and i just walk away. They are both in an intense online relationship and i just don't know what to do. She tells him that she doesn't want to marry me and that she loves him. I left out a lot of stuff but i think i covered the major stuff. She tells me to my face that she loves me and still wants to marry me but she says the opposite to her ex. Who should i believe, the person telling me she wants to marry me, or the person telling her ex that she doesn't want to marry me? Based on the information you've given here, I'm having an extremely difficult time wrapping my head around WHICH part of this relationship you think is worth fighting for, why you are STILL engaged to this woman, and why you would want to spend the rest of your life with someone like this. Do you not believe you are worthy of something/someone better who actually loves and respects you? Your situation is incredibly sad. Not because you're in love and refuse to let go of a serial cheater, but because you refuse to see just how incredibly ridiculous this life and relationship you've been living truly is. 2
No Limit Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Your situation is incredibly sad. Not meant in an offensive way, but this is beyond sad. So sad that even the passengers in the movie Titanic accuse the main couple of causing needless drama in comparison to this. OP, get your stuff together. I really can't give you much more advice than; work on yourself. And the very first step to change anything would be to get her out of your house. Done that? Good. Now decrease the contact and demand a test which clarifies whether you're the father or not. If yes, limit the contact to mobile for emergencies if something's wrong with the child. If not, get the hell out. Things will only get worse; you've already got some attachment to the kid, but with a mother like this I can't imagine a healthy developement at all. I also can't imagine why you'd ever go this far. Stayed despite all what has happened. Most would have thrown her and the guy she cheated on out of the house naked and burn the bed in their garden. You fell for a sex addict. Run for your life before it's over. You've already spent too much time on this hopeless person.
stretcher2 Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 So she splits up with you and goes with her ex boyfriend. You going to pay child support for 18 years...22 years if she goes to college???? I would definitely get a DNA test done for the way she used your OPEN dating you both agreed too.
Bryanp Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Since neither one of you care about giving STD's to each other from screwing around then I think you should marry her. You both are perfect for each other. This clearly is a match made in heaven.
Woggle Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 That Offspring Self Esteem fits this thread perfectly.
Fluttershy Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 No, what's greedy, cold and heartless is to bang some random dude you met at the bar that made your jay-jay tingle and get knocked up but then make some poor sap that is hopelessly in love with you think that he is the father so he is the one up changing poopy diapers in the middle of night and paying all the bills for it for the next 20 years. That's where the cold, heartless greed comes into play. One greedy cold, selfish and heartless act does not make another act not greedy cold and selfish. Calling this child a weekender. Living breathin innocent human being that is terrible. If the OP did want to know and did care then yes encourag him to test. But he doesn't and he shouldn't feel pressured to. If his name is on the birth certificate. If he loves the child. If he is in the child's life then he is the child's father. End of story.
jellybean89 Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 what about the little girl? Do you think it is okay for her to be living in a home where her other has a revolving door on her vajajay? This little girl is being exposed to some messed up things. Her mother is an attention wh*re. Her entire childhood will be filled with her mother's drama and attention seeking. The child will begin to think attention = sex and will seek attention everywhere; because that is what her mothers actions have taught her. Life throws challenges at us -- but you are choosing to have your daughter around all these men and drama. Nothing you described is love. You do not love this woman - you may lust her or be obsessed with her; but you don't love her. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Nothing you wrote about resembles love, to me. How do you love someone who disrespects you so much? She doesn't know how to be honest and repeatedly cheats on you. Why do you tolerate and accept this? What you permit, you promote -- remember that.
Tayken Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 @OP......you owe it to yourself and your child, to end this madness pronto. You are simply enabling the behaviour by not taking action, and she is taking you for a fool I am going to tell you what I suggested to others dealing with a similar situation.....
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