Mysterioussr Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 I am going to try and cut a long (6 year) story short, although I must say it feels unjust to my emotions to do so.. I would massively appreciate any advice that anyone has to offer from the bottom of my heart and in return will endeveour to help anyone else out, thank you in advance <3 Long story short This started years ago, I met him when I was 18 at work, he was 20 years older (yes I know, quite a hefty age gap). Despite the age gap, there was a lot of chemistry.. initially i hated him, but forced to work full time together 8 hours a day in each others company we soon became close friends. I felt my feelings grow for him over the years we worked together, it got to a point it was an emotional affair.. so I broke up with my boyfriend at the time (of 3 years) so i wouldnt feel guilty any more about my feelings. I didn't act on anything; he was married with kids.. I KNOW he loved me though.. late night phone calls.. deep meaningful talks.. the feeling and looks shared between us. It got to a point after a few years, he had to quit his job due to family committments, he said he was unhappy with his mrs but couldnt leave due to his love for his kids.. I NEVER questioned this as I didn't want to be a homewrecker and ultimately wanted him to be happy (although my heart yearned for him). He said I needed to live my life and we would 'be together in another life, when we are both cats'..(from vanilla sky).. SO - Now, I'm 26- I'm single although I have dabbled in relationships, he has always held a very special place in my heart. I decided to delete facebook the other day, He messaged me after years of no contact saying 'i miss your face, we should grab some food'.. I want to see him deeply. But I don't want to if he is still married, I don't want to jeporadise his marriage or anything.. what does anyone think.. I have literally dreampt of him getting in contact, and now he has I don't know if I'm being immoral or unethical by wanting to see him again as we had a very special bond.. please help. I apprecaiate you sticking through the mass of text, bless you and I look forward to any response x 1
wasntlooking Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 I am four months NC with my XMm. I broke it off due to some of the same reasons you did. It was getting too dangerous for us to continue. I fell for him hard and knew neithrr one of us was going to leave our families and i didnt want to be a homewrecker. I cared for all the children involved too much. But i know we were meant to be but just bad timing. So here i am four months NC. I wish he would contact me everyday but know that its for the best that he doesnt. In your case, youre single, ask if he is still married? What do you have to lose? If he is still married, i would caution you not to see him as much as you want to because youll just be in the samd position you were six years ago. It will feel good at first but if he still married, youll have same issues, guilt you did. Youve come this far. If hes single, go for it but you need to ask him......i know that feeling of someoje having a special place in your heart and not being able to act on it.....but youre single, ask if hes availible. Good luck 1
PreciousOne Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 I would say find out if he is still married, if he isn't see where it goes but if he is don't even waste your time with him. Being with a married man especially who is older and more experienced isn't a good idea I don't think. Save yourself the heartache and pain. I hope he is no longer married though that would be great for you. 2
txgrl Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 He's fishing . Don't take the bait! Ull b back to square 1. I promise u he's still married!! If he wasn't he would've said it .. He want to grab more than just food . 4
Popsicle Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Wait a minute...he messaged you as soon as you deleted your Facebook?
PoshPrincess Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 If he's still married do not even think about meeting up with him. It's extremely unfair of him to ask this of you and if he cared for you at all then he would not put you in that position. However, if he is now single then give it a go. What's the worse that can happen? If you don't then you will only spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if?'
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