Leelou Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 It's been over a year since I ended it and he still continues to try get back together. It sometimes blows my mind, since he would blow hot and cold while we were together, and yet the things he says and does now would indicate he is all for getting me back. Things he has done over the past year include doing drive-by's (he lives in the neighborhood but has no reason to be going past my house and looking at it), joining my gym and going at the same time I was there (I since quit going to that gym, but he's stuck there for at least a year's membership), and texting me at regular intervals (when I blocked him before, he started calling the house phone and leaving voicemails and I was concerned a family member would hear him, so I unblocked the texting). Anyone else experience this? I was wondering why he hasn't given up yet. I think a man like him likes to conquer women and doesn't like that I ended it, and is trying to get me back, for his own ego. But I don't know. It is just a weird thing that he was cool before, but still perseveres so much later. He says stuff like he always thinks about me because he still loves me. That if he ever gets me back, he's not going to let me go. That he misses me. Stuff like that.
dichotomy Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 It's been over a year since I ended it and he still continues to try get back together. It sometimes blows my mind, since he would blow hot and cold while we were together, and yet the things he says and does now would indicate he is all for getting me back. Things he has done over the past year include doing drive-by's (he lives in the neighborhood but has no reason to be going past my house and looking at it), joining my gym and going at the same time I was there (I since quit going to that gym, but he's stuck there for at least a year's membership), and texting me at regular intervals (when I blocked him before, he started calling the house phone and leaving voicemails and I was concerned a family member would hear him, so I unblocked the texting). Anyone else experience this? I was wondering why he hasn't given up yet. I think a man like him likes to conquer women and doesn't like that I ended it, and is trying to get me back, for his own ego. But I don't know. It is just a weird thing that he was cool before, but still perseveres so much later. He says stuff like he always thinks about me because he still loves me. That if he ever gets me back, he's not going to let me go. That he misses me. Stuff like that. This was why my wife's MM still tried to get to her - long after she broke contact and we were married. Fortunately he was 750 Miles away - or I know he would have resorted to more than just occasional emails or calls. Ego and competition and conquering was what he was ALL about.
Author Leelou Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 This was why my wife's MM still tried to get to her - long after she broke contact and we were married. Fortunately he was 750 Miles away - or I know he would have resorted to more than just occasional emails or calls. Ego and competition and conquering was what he was ALL about. That's what I am thinking too... ego and getting back what he lost (esp. if they aren't the ones ending the relationship), and conquering. Do they ALL resort to 'sweet talking'?! The 'I still love you' bs... I'm not tempted, even though he lives a stone's throw from my house, and I don't have anyone else (I'm focusing on my school work and getting myself back to being a person who says what I do and does what I say)... I was just wondering WHY he would be doing that. I doubt it's love, even if he believes it is.
thummper Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Oh, he loves "something" all right. (Picture a large wink.) And he can't wait to get back to it. Notice I said "it," not "you." Stay strong LL. You can do better than this clown. 1
Scott Thomas Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 I think its best if you cut off all ties with him and focus on yourself. If he persists, threaten to tell hiss wife/kids. How're things with your husband? Still living miles apart?
kalimata Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 If you REALLY wanted him out of your life forever, why didn't you read him the riot act and tell him to get lost? You unblocked his text messages because he was leaving voicemails on your home phone? Are you kidding me? Why didn't you simply block him from calling your home phone? Sounds like you secretly like the attention he is still giving you. Sounds to me like you are still infatuated with the idea of getting back together with him. If you are truly want to end this for sure, follow these steps: 1) Call OM's wife and let her know that you had an affair with him. 2) Provide any evidence that you can (text messages, emails, etc). Tell her that you cut things off and he still pursues you. 3) File a restraining order against OM. 4) Post him on cheaterville.com
road Posted February 10, 2014 Posted February 10, 2014 It is called block him every way you can. Send a NC letter. He breaks it you get a RO.
Author Leelou Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 I think its best if you cut off all ties with him and focus on yourself. If he persists, threaten to tell hiss wife/kids. How're things with your husband? Still living miles apart? I am about to graduate with a Master's degree, and then will look for a job. My husband is still abroad. MM is STILL wanting to get together (now 20 months after I ended it), and I know he hopes I will give in. I don't mind him as an acquaintance, but not as a friend, and definitely not anything more.
Running Man Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 I am about to graduate with a Master's degree, and then will look for a job. My husband is still abroad. MM is STILL wanting to get together (now 20 months after I ended it), and I know he hopes I will give in. I don't mind him as an acquaintance, but not as a friend, and definitely not anything more. What kind reasoning would you not mind your Stalker Ex Affair Partner to remain an "ACQUAINTANCE"? Wake The @#$% Up. File a RO. It dosen't seem like your doing absolutely everything possible to get him to leave you alone. A Masters Degree doesn't give you common sense.
whichwayisup Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 I am about to graduate with a Master's degree, and then will look for a job. My husband is still abroad. MM is STILL wanting to get together (now 20 months after I ended it), and I know he hopes I will give in. I don't mind him as an acquaintance, but not as a friend, and definitely not anything more. Don't even bother with the acquaintance, just let go of him and shove him out of your life! NO good can come of ANY contact. It's so pointless to have him at all in your life. Believe that you're going to be totally okay without him and just focus on fixing yourself, your marriage and your husband when he comes back home.
Author Leelou Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 What kind reasoning would you not mind your Stalker Ex Affair Partner to remain an "ACQUAINTANCE"? Wake The @#$% Up. File a RO. It dosen't seem like your doing absolutely everything possible to get him to leave you alone. A Masters Degree doesn't give you common sense. I don't see him as a stalker. I guess I just don't see him as being dangerous. He is just 'fishing' but I am not available. I don't mind the occasional text from him. I don't go out with him anywhere. If I see him at his house and he waves me down, I might stop for a minute and say hi. That's it.
Author Leelou Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 Don't even bother with the acquaintance, just let go of him and shove him out of your life! NO good can come of ANY contact. It's so pointless to have him at all in your life. Believe that you're going to be totally okay without him and just focus on fixing yourself, your marriage and your husband when he comes back home. Nicely put. Okay, it's time to end the acquaintance. As for H, no, I cannot focus on our M... the counselor I've been seeing says he is sociopathic and narcissistic. I knew about the Narcissism. I cannot fix him. I can only work on myself. It's time to end the M. I will begin this six months after I start working, when I get a job.
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