peej Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Hey everybody, been reading a bit on these forums and got some good insight into my situation but I would really appreciate if anyone could give some advice specific to what's going on. Thanks a bunch TL;DR? Sparknotes at the end...be lazy if you like but you can help more if you know more of the situation Alright so to start off I'll give some background on me and my dating experience. I am 22, in college now at a community college (commuter school) and loving it. I had a girlfriend towards the end of high school for over 2 years but when we went our own ways it just kind of split up. After that I ended up moving out of my parents house and meeting a woman (yea she was 36) and we ALMOST got married...thank god we didn't though. That brings me to last semester which is when I moved back with my parents and started going to school again. I spent most of the first semester making friends and enjoying myself but being single for over 8 months has started taking a toll on me and since I'm not a ONS kinda guy I'm now looking for a girlfriend. Fast forward to this semester, I started school on Friday and one of my best friends had a girl he knew at the table. We started talking and both of us smoke weed so I got her number and told her we should smoke sometime. We talked for a bit and I told her I had night classes on Tuesday which are on the campus in her town and just chatted in our group of friends. I saw her again on Monday and she remembered that I didn't have school until 6 on Tuesday and invited me to smoke. When she left she gave me a hug which was slightly abnormal for me as most girls don't do that with me. I met up with her on Tuesday and we smoked/talked for a while laughing a lot and she was loving it I could tell. She told me that she broke up with her boyfriend who she had already told me she was not into that much. She didn't want to leave and we went and grabbed a bite, shared some food talked things were going great and when it came time to part (or what I thought was time to part because she looked like she was getting ready to call it quits) I said I had to get going to see my brother and she just looked at me and said "Oh, alright" like she was expecting me to stay not that I caught the hint. She told me before she left that she was in a really good mood now that she hung out with me cause she was a bit upset about the whole ex thing when I first met up with her After school I texted her saying "Hey :)" and she responded with "Hey sweetie how was class?" and when we said good night after a few back and forths she said "Night hun :)" I know not to read too much into texts but until after our date she just said "Hey" and "Bye/Night" so is this something I CAN read into? On Thursday night I invited her to dinner and she said she wasn't sure if she could but she'd let me know. Friday after school she asks if I'm home yet because I drive through her town and she wanted me to stop and grab a bite/chill. Unfortunately I was already basically home and couldn't head out but we tried to make plans for dinner later which got messed up when she had to go to her cousins. She texted me when she got back and I was really tired so the convo wasn't going great until I told her I was tired and she picked up the slack! She started taking control of the conversation rather than me since I was too tired to...god damn that's a plus Before I hit the hay since the convo kinda took a more serious note I told her this: "I'm really happy I met you this semester too. I have a hard time being open sometimes and I feel really relaxed around you :)" To which she replied: "Awwww making me feel special and s**t lol" And I was off... SPARKNOTES I have been single for about 8 months, met a girl on Friday and went out with her on Tuesday. She didn't seem to want me to leave and after that when i texted her she started using "sweetie" and "hun". She just, JUST broke up with her boyfriend but from the sound of it it had been over for some time already and she let me know about the guy and that she broke up with him...I feel like things are going well but I don't quite know how to push forward and I don't want to hit the friend zone wall because so far I feel like I've kept the flirtyness up enough to get her attracted and I think I just need to keep the momentum up but could use advice. QUESTIONS: I feel like things are going really well and like I am golden so long as I keep going like this and I am very excited but I wanted some input on a couple things: 1) She doesn't have a boyfriend anymore and she told me that at the beginning of the date...is this to say basically "Hey you're cleared for take-off, I'm single now" Or is it just her venting about it? 2) I'm trying to take it slow and enjoy getting to know her but how do I maker her know that I want us to be more than friends? I think she might know this already but I have to make a move for her to acknowledge it rather than just letting nature take its course...the thing is I'm clueless as to what my move should be. 3) The friend that introduced us lives really far away but he is like always hanging out with her at school and I don't want to have problems with me and him because of this girl but I have no idea if he even wants to go after her or if she's just a friend. ANY OPINIONS OR COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED THANK YOU!!!
Teknoe Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 note: i could be totally off but my gut says she's just being nice and friendly. again, i could be totally off. it does look like you're overanalyzing though. some girls love throwing "hun" or "sweetie" around and not mean anything by it other than friends.
ktya Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Only one way to tell Next date kiss her, try to hold her hand etc. If your friendzoned youll figure it out pretty fast In my experience the best way to stay out of the friend zone is to grow the kahunas to just kiss her. Be careful about it, if you try to ram your tongue down her mouth even if she likes you she might get turned off, just go softly for a peck on the lips and if it works out slowly get more and more passionate. If shes into you she will reciprocate if not she will pull away or cause a scene. Ive never had a problem when i just hit that sht after a date is going well. Even with girls who i have figured werent into me that much the first kiss changes a lot. Just dont put her back against a wall and go crazy hard for making out. Go easy and give her room to pull away or turn her head and read the situation. Takes balls but its got to be done. If your not at all sure just hug her and say, "can i kiss you" and stare into her eyes. If your friendzoned she will try to counter with humour just back right off and call it a day. If she likes you she will say yes even if it comes across a bit awkward. They prefer that you just go for it to asking but they usually dont complain as long as you dont bother asking the second time after they let you. 1
Cunning-Linguist Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 You're reading too much into it and this sounds it could go either way. You already sent her that sappy message. At this point, I don't see why you shouldn't just tell her you like her and you want to date her and see where it goes. The more you cower and hide from pulling the trigger, the more you look less masculine. Just ask her now, if she says no, continue being friends if she says yes, then you don't need this thread anymore. Call her now and tell her what you want of her.
Vero Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 next date kiss her, try and get touchy as soon as possible, I've been in this situation; I waited too long to make a big move and she lost interest. DO NOT WAIT. She'll take notice that your a worthy boyfriend and she'll get into the vibe even if she doesn't know yet.
Author peej Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 Thank you all I am on my phone but thanks for the input. Guess I'm taking a shot. Dot wanna miss out on a girl like this. Just an update she was at work and it was supposedly pretty busy but she wanted me to come see her. Unfortunately I had work so I couldn't but I'm getting a good vibe so only one thing to do. Thanks again for the help.
kart180 Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Im always act like there friend but never there boyfriend. Im just too nice
lifeunderground Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Lol whats with all these answers? She obviously is interested, but like everyone is saying you need to step your game up. Give her a kiss and all will be clear after that I bet she wont turn away
Author peej Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 Awesome thanks. I felt like she did but now I'm ready to put it to the test.
Author peej Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 So I saw her today and told her straight up that I liked her and she didn't get the hint and was surprised when I moved my hand over and she was like "I don't know I just met you" so I leaned over and kissed her. She came in for the kiss as well (and a lot quicker than I had expected lol). It was just a short peck though. She had just eaten something garlicky (I could tell but I didn't care) and she said "that's all you get for now. I just ate so I'm a little embarrassed."
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