desertsessions Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 (edited) Basically, I went out with this girl in 2009 and we didn't have the best relationship because I believe we were both just a bit immature and young. I always felt like the love was there, I just didn't know how to portray it very well. I had a lot going on in my life when I was dating her, was dealing with depression and it was hard to maintain a relationship and deal with that. Anyways, we broke up at the start of 2010 and it was bad, she was just fed up and I don't blame her. Although back then, I was pretty angry about it. So we didn't talk for a couple years, last year around this time she added me back to Facebook. We've chatted on and off throughout the year. When she added me back to Facebook last year I noticed she had a boyfriend now, and at this point in time is still going out with that same guy. Which is okay, I'm happy for her. I just considered the chatting though Facebook friendly catching up. Last weekend I noticed she added one of my friends back to Facebook (My friend she always liked the best out of all my friends) I talked to him about it, and he said "yeah, she shot me a message and said she just thought of something the other day that reminded her of all of us." That weekend she also called/texted me for the first time in ages. I was sleeping and missed it. This weekend she called/texted again when I was sleeping already, so I missed it again. Her texts said to please call her and she seemed upset both times. I've been very hesitant to call/text her back because I don't want to cause any controversy between her boyfriend and her. I sent her a message on Facebook explaining this last weekend. Now that shes called/texted again this weekend, I don't know what to do... I don't want to ignore her, but sending her the same message on Facebook again seems pointless? I will add that I still care about her, and want the best for her. I just don't know how to go about talking to her when I don't feel comfortable calling or texting. She most likely had a couple drinks both weekends when she called/texted. So if i call her in the morning and her boyfriends there I may get her in trouble. I just don't understand what's going on :S Edited February 1, 2014 by desertsessions
FortunateSon Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 It might be that she is struggling with her current relationship and is using you for familiar comfort. It seems selfish of her, she is not showing her current BF much respect by constantly contacting you. Are you interested in getting back together?
Author desertsessions Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 (edited) I'm sure she has a good reason, she's not the type to go behind peoples backs. She's a very nice well rounded girl. For this reason alone, I think she may be going through some tough stuff at the moment. I care about her, so I'd like to help if I can, I just don't want t be shady. Edited February 1, 2014 by desertsessions
Blizeow Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Are you interested in getting back with her? Do you still have residual feelings for her?
Author desertsessions Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 I think i would yes, she's always kind of been that one girl I dated that I've always cared about even though we didn't talk for ages. She's super polite to people and has a good outlook with everything - I like that. I'm not really even thinking about getting back with her though because she has a boyfriend at the moment. I don't even know if she would anyways, so I'm not going to think like that.
Blizeow Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 From a woman's standpoint, I think that she has residual feelings for you if she's contacting you. I have never contacted an ex when I have been involved with someone else- so you're obviously on her mind. Here's the catch 22... Not knowing in what capacity is she thinking/feeling about you. I think you sound like a very kind man, but here is where you have to put yourself first. If she is involved with someone else, that is HIS responsibility to be the shoulder to cry on or the "friend." I believe if she is left alone, and you no longer contact you that she will be forced to really organize her thoughts about her life and possibly the relationship you both shared. But you have to not be there for her. At least for now. I love my ex, and I want to be there for him, but that is not fair to me. I am a romantic, and I believe in reconciliations (even though I have never had one) but that person has to FEEL what is like for you to COMPLETELY be gone. I'll cheer you on with whatever you decide, but remember to keep yourself first!
Author desertsessions Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 i texted her in the morning saying it's fine, i don't mind the drunken calls and not to feel embarrassed. Also said I still care about her, and if she wants to call I'll listen. She seems very appreciative and jokingly said maybe she'll call sometime during daylight hours! It's actually a breath of fresh air that we are joking around and talking because when I say it was bad... it was pretty darn bad. I honestly thought we were never going to talk again, but i guess the universe is weird.
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