blove213 Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 alright so i liked this girl, but for the last few months i have felt more, i feel that i love her, heres the story, so we havent seen each other in awhile so me and her were going to hangout this sunday, so i asked her what she wanted to do, so i said we could go to the movies, and she said she need to get some money or i have to choose something else, so i said ill buy her ticket she says nope, and i say if you really dont want me to thats cool, but i insist so shes like i mean if you really want to, then sends me another message saying i have to ask my bf first though, its kinda a respect thing, this was the first time she ever mentioned this guy so i figure hes new so after this i get pretty upset i waited i while to message her back cuase i was a little heart broken cuase it was pretty much we were going on a date on sunday. so i say back i understand, and trying to be nice and stuff ask her who it was, but im still upset and stuff, so im trying to calm down. so later in the facebook conversation we were typing animal noises for some reason when i said this here is the conversation Her:meow Me:oink Her: aww cute lol i love pigs: so i dont know how i convinced myself this was a good idea, but i figured i should let her know i feel, Me: i love you but.. lol Her:wow, i didnt expect that Me: i know Her: do you really loves me lol? Me:yes Her:like a friend? me:no Her:more? Me: yes, but i have a feeling i just made this awkward. Her: no lol, why do you love me hun? me:i cant explain that, but i have for awhile now, and i just figured id get it out there, her:please tell meh Me: well, your cool, your a nice person, you're beautiful, and i just love who you are really. her:awww Me: yeah the next bit of the conversaiton was about me being a quiet person and how she didnt think i liked her becuase i hardly ever said anything, told her why that was and how im working to improve that. then apologized. then it was her: dont be sorry you were only being yourself Me: i guess, i just feel kind of bad cuase i kind of ignored you. Me:and your the only one ive ever really felt this way about. her: awww then the conversation kind of died out. do you think this was a bad idea? she reacted way different then i thought, i thought she was going to be like you know i have a boyfreind, and stop talking to me or something. and i kinda feel bad cuase i know she has a boyfreind and even at the slightest chance i dont want them to break up if theyre serious or anything. thats how i really feel about her though, and i know she likes me to we used to flirt all the time, and she was the only one who worried when i was gone for over a week last week. i did ask her out before, but it was about i a month after she broke up with this terrible guy and the weeks before i heard her say, and she even said to me she was taking a break from guys for awhile, but i was like "how would you feel if i asked you out" she said she probably wouldnt agree/accept becuase she was on a break from guys, this was about 2-3 months ago. she told me the folowing week the reason she wasnt a b""" about it is becuase shes known me since middle school, and other stuff, and now looking back on that i think the other stuff was her liking me but she couldnt go out with me cause her last bf was a terrible person as i mention. But what do you guys think, did i make a mistake? did i do the right thing? am i a terrrible person for saying that when i knew she was in a relationship? and for you out there i said it cuase its been eating at me for the last couple months, and i really do love her? thanks for any answers.
Eggplant Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 What hits me right away is that you said it over the internet, not in person, which gives it much, much less weight. I don't think anything big like that should be done typing. You had no way, for instance, to gauge her reaction. There were no non-verbal cues. Secondly, would you have been able to genuinely look at her and say that? Sometimes, there are filters there for a reason, but having the ease of the internet and not having to look at somebody directly when you type something can bypass filters that should not be bypassed. I personally would not recommend throwing an "I love you" at a person until you know them very well, and have received lots of non-verbal reciprocations of your affections. I've had that happen to me; it is awkward and feels almost aggressive. You have to respect the emotional boundaries of another human being. Moreover, you did it in writing. She'll probably show her boyfriend, who may not be so thrilled.
Grumpybutfun Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Yes, she just wants to be friends. She telling you she has a bf was pretty clear she didn't think of you as a date. Never tell anyone how you feel over Facebook or any social media. It is immature and tacky. You need to observe how other people your age interact because you sound socially awkward and immature. This is really a learning curve issue. Good luck, G
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