Ruby Slippers Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Communication is a very important aspect of a relationship. I just started talking to a new guy, and I love that he has already established a consistent, reliable communication stream that feels just about right to me - not too much, and not too little. I can tell he's interested because he's clearly finding and establishing a good groove with this. I was never really happy with my last boyfriend's communication style. I rarely felt it was enough. We tried to meet in the middle, but it never quite clicked. I've learned that when communication isn't flowing in a way that feels right to you, it's not a great sign. I don't mean to be discouraging - just want to make the point that communication (tone, frequency) is a vital part of a relationship, and people's natural tendencies are what they are. 2
Author Chico333 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 Ok well... surprisingly he texted me today on his own asking how my day was going. He's out of town so we are not hanging out this weekend. I guess I can admit that if I don't text him he always ends up sending me a quick hi or what not. Maybe he is wondering where I stand as well? Maybe we are both thinking the same thing. I don't really know. Mostly I'm afraid of being rejected. The guys that I have dated in the past have always been a lot more forward and about it. This is probably the first time I have started dating someone with a full time career though and he has told me before that he doesn't have time to text/check texts while at work, which I understand. He seems to have a good head on his shoulders and more mature than many of the guys I have dated in the past. I just need to be more secure. On the other hand I would like to know if he is sleeping with anyone else for safety reasons. Yes we are sleeping together and are safe about it but still. He has never disrespected me in any way, so I am not worried that he is "playing" me, so to speak. He is very respectful and well mannered. He never initiated sex at all until it just kind of naturally happened and I was up for it. I'm just adding that detail in there.
soccerrprp Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 (edited) Chico333, Glad he FINALLY responded. I am a guy and busy during the day. I find time in the day to respond to my gf when/if she texts. I think it utterly ludicrous to suggest that one is SO busy that he/she cannot find 10-seconds to text back SOMETHING. I don't buy it. I am dating physician and she can find time, however small, to text or text back. Too busy...I laugh at this...Why in the world would you have a cell-phone service with texting and ON during the day if not for the purpose of communication. If he thought your texts were important enough, he'd respond. You texts are not important enough. People don't carry around a cellphone and have it on if they are too busy to respond to it. And if they are not going to respond to it, why the heck have one on one's body? He has prioritized your communications. Not b/c he's too busy. I get the idea that he doesn't even bother during off hours. Doesn't call? Or he won't answer? This is more than just being busy....please. If he was really into you, he'd find the time to do something as simple as text or pickup the phone and talk to you. Edited February 1, 2014 by soccerrprp
Author Chico333 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 (edited) Right... no he does not text or call me during his off hours. Edited February 2, 2014 by Chico333
Leigh 87 Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Read "men r from mars n woman r from Venus" one chapter called "men are like elastic bands" they pull away then come back- especially at the start of a relationship. They need to get away from feeling tied down/emasculated. Let him have his free time and wait for him to come back. It doesn't mean he doesn't care or isn't thinking about u. My ex did this all the time. Either get used to it or comment one day when he does text u that it was real nice getting a text from him- better than putting pressure on him to actually do it. Dudes r tough to understand so read that book! Stopped some of my insecurities. Noooo no. When a guy meets a girl he's really into...... he doesn't yo yo back, swinging from lovely to disinterested. A lot of guys meet girls who they are crazy about. They arrange to see their girlfriends at least once or twice per week. Most will text every day but you do get the occasional dude who isn't into daily contact; although it's rare. Guys absolutely do NOT act disinterested to girls they are crazy about. They want to see them. They don't act like they are possibly dating others. And you're kidding yourself if you think a guy will still date around once he meets a girl he really likes. I 1
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