hpjunke Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 (edited) Ok i have a slight problem.. I have known this girl that i meet of a popular dating site and we have been talking/ seeing each other off and on for about 2 years with months of no contact in between its been strange behavior on her part to say the least , the first time she freaked up on me becuase i asked her if she was still feeling sick and turned around and said i was checking in with her and we lost contact for a good 8 months until she texted me and said im sorry . So we talked slowly for a bit and well she kinda did it again and vanished for 7 months . Yes i get it it seems as if we go back to this roller coaster and this time i think its gonna have to stop . When she does freak out i don't call or text her but it kills me inside why someone does this kinda behavior when its good its good we get along and i feel we click but when its bad she runs . So this time around i went onto that popular site and what do you know shes there .. after 7 months of no talking so i sent her a message and she replied .. well we talked for a couple of days around new years and we would e mail each other say hello good morning etc . All of a sudden she just stopped it all so being i guess her habits i stopped talking to her for 2 weeks . One Saturday she calls me out of nowhere at 1:30 am I did not answer i left it didn't text or call back since i didn't get a message or text so i figured she was drunk dialing me. Now this past week i get an email from her explaining why she called . Her mom is deathly ill and shes not doing very good she said i called you to talk to you and i know you would understand . So i responded saying id be there for her in these times since i have lost my mother to a rare cancer and at this point nothing is good . So i called her at a decent time 6:30 and she said ill call you back im having dinner for a co worker that's leaving us . Anyway she called me and i basically spilled my heart out telling her what she should do at this point with her situation and she cryied balled her eyes out and at the end of a 1:30 conversation she said thank you for that i appreciate it i said your welcome now get some good sleep and she said ok i will and ill talk with you later.. The next morning i texted her asked if she slept oK ... No response at all , all day or night nothing . I'm also a member on that site and i see her on the searches a couple times out of the day . Now i feel like really confused and want to say something but I know this is Not the time .It sounds selfish on her part in my eyes not to say yeah im ok or no im not ok and i feel confused on whats going on here . ... I am i wrong at all to feel a bit angered? What should i do at this point? When should i tell her that you cant come and go as you please and its not appreciated ? Would any of you guys do that to someone you know ? Edited February 1, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
ktya Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 She has an on again off again boyfriend and turns to you for validation when shes alone. Forget about her find someone else she will keep spinning you forever. If you havent kissed her in 2 years of talking to her shes a waste of your time.
Poppygoodwill Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 I agree. She's got a primary relationship and when she feels the need for attention from someone else, she pushes your button to see what she can get. She's using you. If you don't mind the odd phone call and spending your time for someone like that, then let it go on. If it amuses you. If not, then just go silent on her. Spend your time on someone who will value it, and you.
Author hpjunke Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 well if thats the case , i really want to send an email to let her know im done with it all .. I understand her moms case but coming and going is something i dont wanna do and let her know shes selfish and rude about it .. but i dont know if this is the right time to say something.
Author hpjunke Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 She has an on again off again boyfriend and turns to you for validation when shes alone. Forget about her find someone else she will keep spinning you forever. If you havent kissed her in 2 years of talking to her shes a waste of your time. I have kissed her and more in less then 2 years ..
Targetlock Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 sounds like you are being used, the periods of months of no contact would drive me crazy.
Author hpjunke Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 sounds like you are being used, the periods of months of no contact would drive me crazy. it does and im over it ..
ExpatInItaly Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Ok i have a slight problem.. I have known this girl that i meet of a popular dating site and we have been talking/ seeing each other off and on for about 2 years with months of no contact in between its been strange behavior on her part to say the least , the first time she freaked up on me becuase i asked her if she was still feeling sick and turned around and said i was checking in with her and we lost contact for a good 8 months until she texted me and said im sorry . So we talked slowly for a bit and well she kinda did it again and vanished for 7 months . Yes i get it it seems as if we go back to this roller coaster and this time i think its gonna have to stop . When she does freak out i don't call or text her but it kills me inside why someone does this kinda behavior when its good its good we get along and i feel we click but when its bad she runs . So this time around i went onto that popular site and what do you know shes there .. after 7 months of no talking so i sent her a message and she replied .. well we talked for a couple of days around new years and we would e mail each other say hello good morning etc . All of a sudden she just stopped it all so being i guess her habits i stopped talking to her for 2 weeks . One Saturday she calls me out of nowhere at 1:30 am I did not answer i left it didn't text or call back since i didn't get a message or text so i figured she was drunk dialing me. Now this past week i get an email from her explaining why she called . Her mom is deathly ill and shes not doing very good she said i called you to talk to you and i know you would understand . So i responded saying id be there for her in these times since i have lost my mother to a rare cancer and at this point nothing is good . So i called her at a decent time 6:30 and she said ill call you back im having dinner for a co worker that's leaving us . Anyway she called me and i basically spilled my heart out telling her what she should do at this point with her situation and she cryied balled her eyes out and at the end of a 1:30 conversation she said thank you for that i appreciate it i said your welcome now get some good sleep and she said ok i will and ill talk with you later.. The next morning i texted her asked if she slept oK ... No response at all , all day or night nothing . I'm also a member on that site and i see her on the searches a couple times out of the day . Now i feel like really confused and want to say something but I know this is Not the time .It sounds selfish on her part in my eyes not to say yeah im ok or no im not ok and i feel confused on whats going on here . ... I am i wrong at all to feel a bit angered? What should i do at this point? When should i tell her that you cant come and go as you please and its not appreciated ? Would any of you guys do that to someone you know ? 1) No, it's definitely not wrong to feel angry. She's being ignorant. 2) You should forget about her at this point, because she's wasting your time. She's made it very clear she's not into it and doesn't respect you very much at all. 3) You could tell her that now. I don't think it will make a difference to her, but you have a right to say what you're thinking. I would do so. 4) No, of course I wouldn't do this to someone I know. That should be enough to tell you that she's not worth it.
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