Leigh 87 Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Read her history. LS isn't going to help her. Ahem to that.....
Noproblem Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 keep calm and leave this guy before he beat you up like Rihanna He can't help it, he is not a bad person, but he'll make you bad news. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Ahem to that..... Yikes, I just did 1
snowflakes88 Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Oh its real and I know its messed. Looks don't matter it was more of a joke. anyhow everyone here is saying right I obviously pick men that treat me badly. I wouldn't say they aren't interested because if they werent they wouldn't be around me to begin with. Girls meet guys all the time that arent that into them. anyways....I don't know the reason ii think it might be me is because this guy had a girlfriend for 9 years. he must not have been abusive. yet why was he to me? I don't know. A man hanging out with you and being willing to make out/have sex with you doesn't mean he is interested. I'm not defending this guy, but I think he was extremely annoyed that you kept badgering him to stay awake when he told you he wanted to sleep, then didn't leave when he asked you to and made a scene. It's not an excuse to rage on you, but I think anyone would be annoyed by that. If someone asks you to leave their home, you leave. You don't bargain to stay and then cry over it. And you certainly don't pop by with a bottle of wine after they've told you they're over it. 3
RachR Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 OP, this is from your other thread about the same guy. so last night i went on a date with a guy i met at the gym. we went to play pool and were having a good time. he invited me back to his house and we had some drinks..well maybe too many. he tld me he just came out of a long term relationship and that he didnt know how he felt about dating, seemed kinda scared. so, we started fooling around a bit but def didnt sleep together..i was really drunk and i guess bugging him staying up really late and annoying him. he tried to kick me out of his house and was being kind of a jerk/over reacting. i think he might have a temper. so i kinda diffused the situation but i started crying cuz he was actually so mean and i never cry. so..like we had a really good time up until then. I left at 10 am today and we never ended up sleeping together ( thank god) it was pretty innocent. anyhow when i left this morning he didnt seem mad..and i said im really sorry about what happened...and he said he was way too tired to be having this conversation. so anyhow.. i havent heard from him yet..but i sent him a message saying im sorry about what happened last night.and i dnt blame him if he doesnt want to hangout ever again. do u think hell forgive me>? This paints things a bit differently than what your first post in this thread does. I'm with snowflakes88 on this.
Author krista28 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 Does it really matter? the guy obviously wants nothing to do with me anymore and I screwed it up. yes people do stuour things when drinking...but honestly I didn't know what I was doing. we both had a lot to drink. ya the guys clearly over it but on the other hand...he was kind of an ass . he was trying to fool around with me too and st the end of the night he even apologized. for being so angry. and fire over reacting. ic he guy liked me is know it right..its nobody's fault the only reason I was going to drop by with that wine was before he told me he was over it. I may have had a lot to drink but I have a hard time believing that this is all my fault!? He even told me it wasnt. so...I have to now see this guy at the gym and I have noidea How to act around him. I'm certainly not going to give him the privilege of cowering away. so anyhow I'm not discounting this thing about the having. issues with self esteem. I will consider going to therapy..a friend of mine has gone for the same reason can too really blame me though? I just don't want to me alone anymore its been forever.. and I'm having a hard time accepting how bad I screwed this one up.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Why did you create another thread about the same problem?
Frank2thepoint Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 I have to now see this guy at the gym and I have noidea How to act around him I always assumed people that hit the gym, exercise, blow off steam, get the good confident feelings flowing from a good work out were well balanced, level headed people. You madam have proved me wrong. I'm not discounting this thing about the having. issues with self esteem. I will consider going to therapy..a friend of mine has gone for the same reason can too really blame me though? I just don't want to me alone anymore The simple fact that you jump from one guy to another just for the attention, no matter how negative, and that you don't want to be alone, is the biggest indicator that you have self-esteem issues. To boot, for someone that works out, you do not respect yourself. The first step in this journey is for you to stop looking for men to give you what you need, because they can't give it you. You're looking all in the wrong place. All you need is within you. Therapy can help, but the therapist will just repeat the same things that many others on here have said, but charge you for that advice. 1
beach Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 He's already yelling at you and you want to see him again? Geez woman have some self-respect. Any guy who yells instead of simply using kind words - is out the minute he communicates that way! Yelling is unacceptable to me... Why do you act like it's acceptable behavior?
ThatMan Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 I can appreciate that you do not want to be alone. Nobody wants to ever feel lonely. At the same time, however, most people have figured out how to feel content and enjoy life regardless of a relationship. We're all entitled to feel comfortable underneath our own skin. At twenty-nine you should already have a lot of experience under your belt, and know what relationships are all about. But when anyone has poor experiences it's easy to build up all the wrong expectations. You need to understand what healthy relationships are all about before you can begin them. This is why everyone is urging you to enter therapy. I hope that you do the right thing for yourself.
MidwestUSA Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Krista! One night stands, pregnancy scares, drinking. When are you going to realize the way you're living isn't working for you? It's time to get help, more than we can give you.
Author krista28 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 your right....I mean I don't know why I feel attraction to a guy whos so disrespectfull..I still have to go to the gym with hima nd I didn't know he was like this. I will go to counselling. u cant blame me for trying to find mr right though. there are girls that put up with way worse than me ive never been in an abusive relationship[
pickflicker Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 your right....I mean I don't know why I feel attraction to a guy whos so disrespectfull..I still have to go to the gym with hima nd I didn't know he was like this. I will go to counselling. u cant blame me for trying to find mr right though. there are girls that put up with way worse than me ive never been in an abusive relationship[ You're certainly in a pretty abusive relationship with yourself. 5
Author krista28 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 I really appreciate everyones comments and your completely right I do need help and or to just stop dating. my question is...like.. is this my fault the guy wont talk to me or is he to blame at all in this? I just need to know for my own sanity..i know that if he actually was into me hed probably over look this.
newmoon Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Jesus, what they hell are you doing going over to his house of the first date and getting drunk? If a guy has to "kick you out of his house" no, no, he will not call you again. he might. he didn't use her for the sex yet.
Author krista28 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 You people are terrible. I'm getting offj this site.
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Does it really matter? the guy obviously wants nothing to do with me anymore and I screwed it up. yes people do stuour things when drinking...but honestly I didn't know what I was doing. we both had a lot to drink. your right....I mean I don't know why I feel attraction to a guy whos so disrespectfull its been forever.. and I'm having a hard time accepting how bad I screwed this one up. is this my fault the guy wont talk to me or is he to blame at all in this? I just need to know for my own sanity..i know that if he actually was into me hed probably over look this. Krista, Although you leave out quite a bit of detail on what transpired besides him getting angry and trying to kick you out and you crying, most of your responses lead back to whatever behavior you displayed during this episode. Then you go on to paint him as abusive with childhood problems and coming out of a long term relationship. I'm gonna give it to you straight. If someone kept me up till 5am with drunk and ridiculous behavior, I might snap and tell them to leave as well. No need to look into my childhood or past relationships for reasoning. Your posts keep hinting that YOUR actions caused this. It sounds like he let you stay only because you were crying and apologizing, but its clear that he didn't want to even talk to you once morning came and it was time for you to leave. The only history you should be trying to make sense of is your own. Until you come to terms with your own wreckless behavior and decisions, you're going to have a hard time finding someone else to come to terms with it. 3
Author krista28 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 Well it is what it is. I maybe was drunk but he was awake too at that time and honestly I only made a couple comments which seemed to set him off. I had fault in it by drinking too much yes. but I don't like being snapped at. I already came to terms with what I did. I obviousmy don't see it as bad as he did.
Author krista28 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 I agree he didn't. want to talk to me bad behavior...yet I don't think it warranted the snap show.
almond Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 It probably wasn't just the asking for sex at 5am that set him off - perhaps you were frustrating him throughout the night? Maybe he's just a loose cannon...who knows. Anyway, it doesn't matter. It didn't work out, and that's that...you have much more important things to focus on. Please sort yourself out. You are on a desperate search for "Mr. Right," but please understand - you will NOT find him until you fix yourself. Get onto it asap, and work towards getting yourself happy and healthy. Book an appointment with your doctor to get a referral to a psych/counselor. 2
beach Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Why did you think playing pool was an actual date?
Author krista28 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 Beach you have a very good point. maybe that is grievances it wasn't He wasn't showing many signs of interest and the way he spoke to me pretty much proves he isn't interested at all. could be a case of not that into you...which in that case I an more than happy to retreat. just need to find a way to keep my dignity at the gym when I see him.
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