freebird31 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 My life is so dull. There is no color anymore..hardly. My life is work and school. I have friends at school and we catch up in class but other than that my social life is shot. I miss opening up to someone, telling them stuff..getting intimate, I miss it a lot. Idk if it's time for me to start dating..it's been 9 months since the BU. I don't even know if I am ready to date again. I just need some color in my life. It's so bland. So bland. I feel sort of empty and hollow most of the time. I miss feeling something. What do I do?
flightplan Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Take ownership of your life. If you're not happy with it, do something. No one is going to do it for you. Plan some goals, put your rudder in the water and go for it... and stop the pity party. You get what you focus on in life... and all you're doing right now is focusing on how bad your life is. Focus on what you want, not what you don't want. If you want color in your life... paint the picture. Who else is going to do it? If you're waiting on someone to come along and make you happy, then you're going to be a very miserable person. Again... FOCUS on what you want, not what you don't want. 1
Author freebird31 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 Take ownership of your life. If you're not happy with it, do something. No one is going to do it for you. Plan some goals, put your rudder in the water and go for it... and stop the pity party. You get what you focus on in life... and all you're doing right now is focusing on how bad your life is. Focus on what you want, not what you don't want. If you want color in your life... paint the picture. Who else is going to do it? If you're waiting on someone to come along and make you happy, then you're going to be a very miserable person. Again... FOCUS on what you want, not what you don't want. That's a lot easier said than done. I don't know how to be happy. I seriously don't. And I have been trying. I have been TRYING. Stepping out of my comfort zone. Even doing things i never do before. I do have goals I go to school and am taking extra course work. And I don't want anyone's pity that's not why I posted this. Maybe life is just more corful when you're in love. I don't know. Seriously I don't KNOW how to be happy or to be as happy as I was when I was with him. Being in love for the first time changed everything , how I look at things. Nothing is as colorful or was ever a more colorful time in my life . Idk. I'm lost.
erklat Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Forget about love in this shape. First defeat your depression. Find your joys and passion. There must be at least one thing you enjoy doing. If you manage to attract someone (which you won't), you're in no shape to keep them. [ Trust me, love can add to your happiness. It won't make you genuinely happy. That comes from within. 2
flightplan Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 That's a lot easier said than done. I don't know how to be happy. I seriously don't. And I have been trying. I have been TRYING. Stepping out of my comfort zone. Even doing things i never do before. I do have goals I go to school and am taking extra course work. And I don't want anyone's pity that's not why I posted this. Maybe life is just more corful when you're in love. I don't know. Seriously I don't KNOW how to be happy or to be as happy as I was when I was with him. Being in love for the first time changed everything , how I look at things. Nothing is as colorful or was ever a more colorful time in my life . Idk. I'm lost. It may be easier said than done, but it's the only way to do it. You are so focused on you're unhappiness that you can't see any other way out of it. Take one tiny scrap of something that you feel would make you happy... anything.. smelling a rose, watching a puppy play... anything! and build on it. You're too focused on being lost, unhappy, no color, etc., that you can't get past it. ONLY when you shift your focus will you be able to move beyond. Go help someone else. Volunteer someplace that could use your talents. There is ALWAYS something you can do to move beyond your present state. You just have to look for it and stop focusing on your negatives!
Author freebird31 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 It may be easier said than done, but it's the only way to do it. You are so focused on you're unhappiness that you can't see any other way out of it. Take one tiny scrap of something that you feel would make you happy... anything.. smelling a rose, watching a puppy play... anything! and build on it. You're too focused on being lost, unhappy, no color, etc., that you can't get past it. ONLY when you shift your focus will you be able to move beyond. Go help someone else. Volunteer someplace that could use your talents. There is ALWAYS something you can do to move beyond your present state. You just have to look for it and stop focusing on your negatives! Okay...thanks. I will try out those things:) I hate that I am like this...ah it's so hard to control sometimes. I've been negative so negative a lot lately. Lol. I mean with myself. With friends and family I play it off like I'm okay but I'm not. But yea ..idk..I hate that I think this way. /: I'm scared I'm going to be in this hole for a long time. I'm really scared. Because it's been hard for me to get out of this mind set lately. I think I've just been hurt by my ex and my best friend all at once . Those things really, really changed me. Left scars. I mean we all go through stuff, and I'm happy that it's nothing worse thank God. I don't want to be a baby, but I have to admit it's been hard. But I'll keep trying. I'll just keep trying eventually there had to be a light at the end of this tunnel. I hope I find that contentment and inner peace, on my own. Thanks for your help. I appreciate it
flightplan Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 No worries... you can do this. It just takes a little effort to get the ball rolling. Sit with someone in a hospice and let them tell you what they would do if they had another chance. Embrace the state of mind you're in and let it take you to a higher level of living. Your going to feel a tremendous sense of confidence as you begin to work through to a happier state of mind. 1
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