Karasmatic Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 When I gave this guy I liked my number. He warned/reminded me that he can be quite busy with his son. I replied back with we can work around this. Then we were good and as he left put his hand on my back. My friend says that is a good thing he mentioned his kid because he is sussing out whether I would be okay with that if he did ask me out. This coming from someone who is a single mother herself. Would this be correct?
Fondue Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I am not a single parent, but I would say that your friend is absolutely right. Good on the guy for letting you know, too. He's being open and honest about his priorities (and rightfully so) right off the bat.
Author Karasmatic Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 I know. I already knew he had a son and that never put me off him. Remember him mentioning it before. You can tell he is a good Dad. Always know the kids come first in these type of situations. Just wondering if my response was the right one and would let him know that I was okay with the whole thing.
Author Karasmatic Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 He has not sent a text or rang in 3 days so feeling a bit confused...
OpheliaSong Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 He said he would be busy with his son so maybe he was just giving you information. Sometimes people say exactly what they mean.
TaraMaiden Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Send him a text: "Just to say hi. Hope all is ok with you. Thinking of you, contact me when it's convenient to touch base. We'll arrange something, if you like." And sign it off whichever way you feel appropriate.... His son will always be a priority, but his son should not be THE priority, in every case. My H. has a son (my step-son, naturally) and although it goes without saying his son is ultra-important to him, depending on the situation, he doesn't always come first.....
GoreSP Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Yeah I don't want to be the party pooper here but it feels to me like he used the busy excuse because he isn't interested.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Yeah I don't want to be the party pooper here but it feels to me like he used the busy excuse because he isn't interested. That came to my mind, too.
ktya Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Kids can keep you incredibly busy. Even when theyre asleep you can be so burned out that you dont want to do anything or talk to anyone. There are appointments, school, homework, lunches, playdates, activities and then maybe toss in dealing with and coparenting with his ex, the arguments that are probably going to ensue (they did break up after all over something) possibly his concern with his son meeting his exes new partner, what role that person is playing in his sons life (replacement dad or just new guy for mom), sprinkle in a bit of financial stress of being a single parent.... So hes a busy guy. Text him and ask if he has any time free to meet up in the next week or so. If he texts you back positively ask him if there is a good time for you to call him after the kiddie is in bed. Dont stress. Even dual parent families often find parents not talking to or seeing their best friends for months.
peej Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 (edited) If I was to say something like that since it was a reminder he knows you know about his kid but I would say that to make it known that I want to pursue this relationship but I have a lot on my plate so that you know that my kid is #1 and starting a relationship with you comes second. Just my two cents. EDIT: His son will always be a priority, but his son should not be THE priority, in every case. My H. has a son (my step-son, naturally) and although it goes without saying his son is ultra-important to him, depending on the situation, he doesn't always come first..... The way I see it until he has really formed a bond with her his kid will come first. If the relationship between you two becomes important enough then his son should no longer ALWAYS be the priority. IMO if you are that busy you need to actually know somebody and actively try to make them a priority before they become one. Edited February 1, 2014 by peej
Author Karasmatic Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 I would text him myself but I never got his number off him so the ball is definitely in his court. I have thought it could have been an excuse him being busy. Shrugs. Yeah I know that parents can be extremely busy. I know. 2 of my friends are single Mum's and don't hear from them for a while sometimes. So maybe I might wait a week and give him the benefit of the doubt...
MidwestUSA Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Under what circumstances did you give him your number? Did he ask for it? YOU like him. YOU have him YOUR number. The interest seems to be one sided. Perhaps he was just being polite by taking your number.
Author Karasmatic Posted February 2, 2014 Author Posted February 2, 2014 I gave him my number. He did not ask for it. Although there was flirting between us. He was always complimenting me, calling me gorgeous, beautiful. Touching on the arm, back when we would chat and joke around. So it did seem like he was on that side of things. Not sure if I was reading signals wrong or not there. Who knows...
ExpatInItaly Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 I gave him my number. He did not ask for it. Although there was flirting between us. He was always complimenting me, calling me gorgeous, beautiful. Touching on the arm, back when we would chat and joke around. So it did seem like he was on that side of things. Not sure if I was reading signals wrong or not there. Who knows... I'd say that he's not all that interested, really. It sounds like he enjoyed the flirty banter but wasn't looking to take it further than that. If it's been a few days and no call, I'd keep looking.
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