rockie Posted January 14, 2005 Posted January 14, 2005 I have a huge problem. I met this guy. he was really quiet at first, he hardly spoke to me or anything. but for the past 2 months or so he's been really FLIRTY. At first it was us arguing all the time. just about stupid, trivial things, but we used to spend hours sitting and arguing. It was also just on our college bus. but for about a month, it's been everywhere. Every time we're together we argue or playfight. He is always touching me! Hitting, kicking, walking down corridors and he'll try and trip me or shove me or something. It's like this every day. But recently, he's had a change of behaviour. First it was me. I finally accepted the fact I had a crush on him, and I went incredibly shy. We still fought and stuff, but not so much verbally as in physically. And also, its gotten a lot "handier". we touch hands all the time. The other day, instead of moving my hand off a computer mouse or just pointing to where I need to click, he put his hand on mine and moved it. He's also took an interest in my life, like asking me when my next driving lesson is, about my lessons, my exams, talking to me about random things. And lately he's been acting strange. I sometimes prod one of my other male friends, and he was like "DONT MAKE ME HURT YOU!!" and glaring at me everytime I went near him. that happened twice in one day. And my best friend tried to give me a hug, and he said "SHE HAS TO GO YOU KNOW." and then my boyfriend (yes, my boyfriend) tried to give me a kiss goodbye and he pulled him away saying "A TIME AND PLACE FOR THAT" and he's really defensive over people looking at me and stuff. Only thing is, he says he fancies another girl. But we often make eye contact. Not neccassarily long gazes (although my friends say it) but our eyes meet. My friends think he really really likes me "in that way". help. I'm so confused. he's also my boyfriends best friend. Please help. I'm so confused.
Grover Posted January 15, 2005 Posted January 15, 2005 I think this is something that you two need to finally come to terms with. Talk to eachother be direct about your feelings, BUT also about the fact that you both are involved. It is natural to be attracted to others whether you are involved or not. But find the extent of that attraction is it just because its like "don't push the red button" or is there something beyond the thrill. And in your case you would be ending a relationship with your current significant other and also breaking up "best friends". Just be careful in your decision, think before you react, either way good luck, and whats meant to be will happen eventually.
Author rockie Posted January 15, 2005 Author Posted January 15, 2005 How do you mean, finally come to terms with?
Grover Posted January 15, 2005 Posted January 15, 2005 meaning that you both obviously have some sort of attraction towards eachother, and you two need to talk about it upfront to figure out whether its just innocent flirtations or are there true underlying feelings somewhere.
Author rockie Posted January 16, 2005 Author Posted January 16, 2005 I don't want to ruin anything, I don't want to ruin things with my boyfriend, I don't wanna ruin things with my friends or with the guy himself. He's not involved, it's jus me. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm still uncertain if he's interested although everyone thinks he is. =S
Sukotto Posted January 16, 2005 Posted January 16, 2005 Well who do you feel the strongest attraction for? Its not fair on your boyfriend at the moment if you're attracted to someone else and he's just there because the relationship was already started. You should do him the favour and end it with him now and be honest. Just say that you've been having feelings for someone else and that its not going to work. Now with the other guy, just say your attracted to him and gauge his reaction. If he says "ok" and then goes silent then you know he doesn't feel the same. Though is there a possibility that your attracted to him like you would be attracted to a brother? Whatever you do be honest with your current boyfriend, I wish my ex had told me the truth from the very start.
Author rockie Posted January 28, 2005 Author Posted January 28, 2005 im tryin so hard to sort myself out, but the thing is, I dont know how! I dont know what situation im in, except for im falling for my boyfriends best friend. my feelings just get stronger and jealousy if he prods or watches my other best friend (female) is like nothing ive ever felt before! Lately, the fighting is getting REALLY bad. We just fight all the time. Physically. We were alone the other day and we managed to fight for 45 mins (of an hour bus journey) but then it was silent. I've noticed he's looking at me a lot more, and displaying angry-like tendancies towards me and my male friends, and just watching me generally. It seems like a lot of the time out of the corner of his eye, or if hes watching a point near me itll b blind space but it still feels like hes watching me, I dont know why! My bestest m8 said 2 him "Why do u always play fight with her?" n he said "caus it annoys her". my m8 still thinks he has feelings for me, tho. also, the longest convo me n him have ever had is like, an hour maximum n thts fighting. The other night we talked on messenger for 2 hours straight, and i kept asking him if something was wrong, caus it n he was like "i dunno" n he keeps giving me these riddles 2 work out like "where wld we be if we didnt think" n the other day in coll i went over 2 him, he was 'reading a book' but he wasnt at all, n he said im tryna study but im thinking about something else, i was like... well.. what? n he was like cant tell u, n did another daft riddle n basically told me he was getting premonitions of something that was going to happen in the future. the strange thing is, he said the "thinking" riddle was something to do with something tha might happen in the future as well. I'm seeing a pattern. he also said "have u ever wodered why i always talk so complicated with just you??" i was like well, no.. he said "the length of this convo has something to do with it" i was like ok, we;'ve talked for 2 hours, so? n he went "oh forget it. ive used up2 much of ur time. go talk2 someone else" i was like i wanna talk 2 u!! n he said "go n use ur time with someone else, im sure u want 2" n logged off. The other day, he dragged me all the way to his class, clutching my hand, he hides my drinks constantly, butts into conversations with my male friends with funny events that have happened 2 us, he just never leaves me alone! He's also started hanging around with me a lot more, like i was with my girlfriendstoday n his 2 best male friends left for the library and he stayed with me, trying to pick a small fight. He's started to do tht more and more, staying with me and my girlfriends instead of going with his best friend, and he ALWAYS walks next to me n pushes/shoves/trips me up. but hes always next to me, always walking with me, and as i said, it looks like hes looking at me a lot. although maybe its just me. He also gave me my late christmas present, a dvd of my favourite band that cost more than his 2 best friends presents. My friend told him not 2 playfight with me today, n he looked very down whenever he was near me, n he openly admitted he was in a mood when i asked him about his work, he wldnt tell me why, but kept drifting off into thought. but as usual he stayed with me all the time, also even though his friend made him promise not 2, he made comments and walked with me everywhere. im so confused! I dont even know if ive explained myself logically there, im just writing down as they come into my head. please help, i dont have any idea what my situation is, what 2 do, or anything..
whichwayisup Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 I think you need to break things off with your boyfriend, take a step away from your boyfriends bestfriend and be on your own to figure this out...Who you love, who it is you really want to be with. Be alone and take this time for YOU. This is not fair to your boyfriend, nor his bestfriend and most of all, you're doing this to yourself - putting heartaches, questions and wonders out there because you are confused...What this and that means...Noone in that situation could figure out what it all means and what the outcome could be until you get away from it all. Does your boyfriend know about your feelings for his bestfriend? I bet he see's reactions all around him and deep down knows something is not right. Good luck.
Author rockie Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 I know its not fair... but I just cant help it! He's been helping me with a lot of problems n we always end up talking for hours after it, n he's been hanging around with me a lot more, i was talking to him today about my work experience n i was concerned about knowing a fact, so i walked over 2 the bookcase to find it in a book n he followed me over and helped me, looked through books n stuff. also, we had a week off, he came back the day after the first day n he's been trying to pick a fight with me constantly! We end up physically fighting more than verbally but we still argue loads, if i sit next2 him he never leaves me alone, n we've made a lot more eye contact. I was Sitting with my friend (rich) the other day n he kept coming over, he kept butting into our conversation n then stormed over and went "you're way 2 attached 2 him u always talk2 him, n i bet ull talk2 mick when u get home as well." i was like "..eh?" apart from the fact i very rarely talk 2 rich! he jus wldnt leave it. he knew everything about my conversation and everything. And I have noticed he's staring a lot more.. it think... its what i see but cld i be wrong? we rubbed noses 2day...and then put our heads together n pushed each other with our heads 2getha, n we were talking about Marrige my friend was suggesting people for me 2 marry whe im older, my friend started staring at him n i said "no way!" before i stopped myself, n he went "oh..no.." n kept going on about it, sayin order the cake n"when do u think she'll change her mind". n he was tryna decide "boyfriends for me" caus i pretended i had 2 pay my boyfriend for being my bf. it turned into a private joke between us both, n we joked about it on the way home. We were playing pictionary and he made sure he did programmes or films i knew - i love soaps n he knows tht, so his first was a soap n kept sayin "she wont know tht, hmm what will she know" all the time.. n my heart goes mad every time our eyes meet. I dunno whats happening - he said before the holidays he fancies my best friend (female) n it hurt, i was in a bad mood, he was in a bad mood for days, i stayed off coll n he went "oh today will drag". Whats going on? I'm putting the pieces together tht he likes me.. cld i be wrong? hes usually very quiet with his feelings n jus announced he fancied my best friend when i asked him, n today he pointed n shouted my friends name (when he never talks2 her!) when she came up behind me. i dont think hes ever spoken2 her...its so weird. he also fixed my webpage,(laughing with our heads together...) we've been hanging around together a lot, if we're together then we stay together, either talking, arguing or fighting physically. mostly physically. but hes always with me, interrupts my convos n comments. im puttin pieces together he likes me... what do i do? is it poss i cld be wrong??
Conqueror224 Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 The first thing you need to do is break up with your bf. Then you need to start going out on a limb with this guy. He gets close to you get closer. You two start to fight try and stop fighting no matter why you started. If he really likes you then he'll be ok with all of your contact. But if he doesn't like you then he'll try and get you off of him. The tricky part of this is that he seems ok with it but he kinda of acts undisturbed then he could go either way. If you don't want to do the touching thing than you can just try and talk to him and if he won't answer you then don't talk to him. And anytime he follows you then just leave. In conclusion you need to break up with your current bf and start trying to find out if this guy likes you.
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