Chriscross Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 (edited) Just some background info before I start: I've been seeing this girl for a bit over 8 months and everything is going great. Recently I've been overseas on a skiing holiday with my family...awesome right? I've been away for about 2 weeks now and return home in about 3 weeks. Although timezones are a pain, we still text every day and we skype just about every other day for at least an hour and tells me how much she misses me basically everyday, yet I'm still missing her so much that it is making the holiday completely unenjoyable at times. There was one morning when it had snowed over night and there was about 9 inches of fresh snow on the mountain yet I didnt wanna get up and ski because I was in such a slump from missing her, which is just stupid and I really want this to change. So if I could get any advice from people who have been in a similar position of being away from their significant other for a decent chunk of time it would be awesome! Cheers! Edited January 31, 2014 by Chriscross
Grumpybutfun Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Well, just to put this in perspective for you, I managed to run an entire Naval ship, deal with hundreds of sailors who were all homesick and away from spouses and children and work out everyday on a eight month patrol with limited phone or skype contact and no spouse attended port visits. I want to point out that this is as long as your entire relationship. My wife is my world and I was tortured, but I knew that life has be live and other people depend on me and take their cues from the behavior I modeled so I smiled and trudged through the pain because it is my responsibility in life not to let my emotions negatively impact those around me. I say this because your parents are giving you a holiday that many people would love and probably wasn't cheap and you moping around changes the quality of their holiday. Keep that in mind and miss her, talk to her but don't let your emotions rule your life or they become a happiness suck instead of a gift. Best, Grumps 4
TheyCallMeOx Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 It's good that you miss her because that's a good indication that you love her and enjoy talking to her. However, people need personal space even if they don't feel they need it. There may come a time, down the road, where you won't get the opportunity to talk to her. Or maybe, perhaps, SHE will be on vacation and not have the chance to talk to you as much. My ex-girlfriend was gone for two months in the beginning of our relationship, right during the "honeymoon phase," and I literally lost 20 or so pounds because I wasn't eating or sleeping. There was a point where my little cousin came over and asked her mom why I won't play with her, and I felt really bad. I was depressed while my ex-girlfriend was with her family having a great time. When you give each other personal space, especially during vacation and whatnot, you are keeping that magic alive. When you come back from a long vacation and ya'll haven't talked a whole lot, maybe briefly, there's so much stuff to talk about. When you see her again, it's like your first date all over again...so much to talk about and you can't help but feel a sigh of relief knowing that she's right there in front of you. But when you spend a lot of time talking with each other during vacation, you're already telling her everything pretty much so you go back basically saying how you missed each other, make love, make out, and all those lovey-dovey things. That's all great and all, but it could be so much more, and it would benefit the longevity of the relationship if you give each other personal space. Spending time with your family, focusing on your vacation, checking in on your girlfriend every once in a while lets your girlfriend indicate that you love her, but you're also independent. It seems like you are a little dependent on her to enjoy something, and that can potentially backfire down the road. Women like a man who is able to be both vulnerable and independent. You wanna let her know that you miss her, but you also can't put yourself on a leash and follow her everywhere. It's cute for a little while, but it gets kind of creepy down the road and questionable.
Yookie Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Well, just to put this in perspective for you, I managed to run an entire Naval ship, deal with hundreds of sailors who were all homesick and away from spouses and children and work out everyday on a eight month patrol with limited phone or skype contact and no spouse attended port visits. I want to point out that this is as long as your entire relationship. My wife is my world and I was tortured, but I knew that life has be live and other people depend on me and take their cues from the behavior I modeled so I smiled and trudged through the pain because it is my responsibility in life not to let my emotions negatively impact those around me. I say this because your parents are giving you a holiday that many people would love and probably wasn't cheap and you moping around changes the quality of their holiday. Keep that in mind and miss her, talk to her but don't let your emotions rule your life or they become a happiness suck instead of a gift. Best, Grumps Yikkes! Thank you Grumps and all the sailors that make these kinds of sacrifices to keep our country safe! OP: You're on a FIVE WEEK SKI VACATION! I have a hard time being sympathetic with your plight... oh the horror!!!
Author Chriscross Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 ou're on a FIVE WEEK SKI VACATION! I have a hard time being sympathetic with your plight... oh the horror!!! No no thats the thing...I know it's completely ridiculous that this is coming between me and enjoying myself. Wasn't looking for sympathy, merely some advice so I can stop this.
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