snowman90 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Hello all, my first, but certainly not the last post here. Just joined so greetings to all of you first.. Okay, let's get started I need a bit of a help and advice please. There is one girl and I'm really in love with her, care for her and everything what comes by. We were somehow together, we were kissing, hugging, talking for hours, hanging out etc.. She told me straight into face how much she likes me. But suddenly everything fell down because there is another guy who was her boyfriend and she said she still has some feelings for him and is not sure whether she is prepared to move on yet. I'm sure she feels something towards me, otherwise she wouldn't even have started anything with me I guess. So my question is... in two weeks a Valentine's day will come and I was thinking of making her a personal video to let her know how much she means to me. I added a link at the bottom for you see what kind of a video I was thinking about. It is not finished yet. I know it might be a better idea to meet her on that day but I already know that this won't be possible, so I have to think about something else. I think a video could be a good idea. What do you think? link to the example -> testvideo - YouTube
ctxinfl Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I don't know her so I don't know how she'd respond, though a video seems like a bit much to me.
GorillaTheater Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 We were somehow together, we were kissing, hugging, talking for hours, hanging out etc.. She told me straight into face how much she likes me. But suddenly everything fell down because there is another guy who was her boyfriend and she said she still has some feelings for him and is not sure whether she is prepared to move on yet. The kind of video you're talking about would be WAY over the top under these circumstances. She's probably a great girl and everything, what do I know, but it's also evident to me that she used you for an emotional tampon, and sure doesn't feel the same way about you as you do her. Sorry man.
soccerrprp Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Sweet gesture, but I agree with others that it's over the top for someone who is conflicted at best. Get a card and a bouquet of roses, not necessarily red roses to let her know.
Author snowman90 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 Can't send roses cause she will be away for ten days.. I don't know.. I just wanted to show her how I feel.. isn't it stupid to hide your feelings inside? Would be good to hear girl's opinions too cause they are more emotional and I've seen some similar videos on youtube and comments were positive
ctxinfl Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Can't send roses cause she will be away for ten days.. I don't know.. I just wanted to show her how I feel.. isn't it stupid to hide your feelings inside? Would be good to hear girl's opinions too cause they are more emotional and I've seen some similar videos on youtube and comments were positive It's hard, though you don't want to go overboard. I'm making homemade fudge cookies for the girl I'm seeing. Valentine's Day will have been one month dating for us, so I don't want to go overboard and weird her out, though I also want to acknowledge that I like her quite a bit.
soccerrprp Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Can't send roses cause she will be away for ten days.. I don't know.. I just wanted to show her how I feel.. isn't it stupid to hide your feelings inside? Would be good to hear girl's opinions too cause they are more emotional and I've seen some similar videos on youtube and comments were positive Well, I'm mostly thinking about you. She's not your gf and she has feelings for an ex. You can show her how you feel w/o over-doing it. Send her a nice e-card, email to let her know. I would imagine that many of those positive responses were from ladies who envisioned something like that happening to them WHEN AVAILABLE. Your friend doesn't sound available, but......this act may turn her to your side. In the end, do what feels right to you. If you want and need to let her know in this way....just do it! You don't need total strangers' advice. 1
Emilia Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I don't know.. I just wanted to show her how I feel.. isn't it stupid to hide your feelings inside? Would be good to hear girl's opinions too cause they are more emotional and I've seen some similar videos on youtube and comments were positive Okay, I was going to stay away from this thread but you asked for it. Not all 'girls' are emotional. I would absolutely hate receiving some soppy thing like that. Seriously. It would make me throw up in my mouth. But that's just me. 1
Emilia Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I would imagine that many of those positive responses were from ladies who envisioned something like that happening to them WHEN AVAILABLE. Your friend doesn't sound available, but......this act may turn her to your side. I think any gesture should be aimed at the person who is going to be the receiver. It should come from the heart and reflect who the sender is but it should be done with the audience in mind. And for that you need to know the other person better. Not all women are the same OP, regardless whether we are available or not. And you should definitely listen to the men on this thread.
Author snowman90 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 Okay, I was going to stay away from this thread but you asked for it. Not all 'girls' are emotional. I would absolutely hate receiving some soppy thing like that. Seriously. It would make me throw up in my mouth. But that's just me. Hey.. I'm not mad at you for answering here ) I appreciate everyone's opinion, really. And I'm happy for your respond too. This girls loves surprises, whenever I do something nice to surprise her she feels happy.. for example one day she was coming home by train (2 hours ride) and I told her I'll be waiting for her at the station but she said noo, I'm in a bad mood. I went there anyway, hid to her and when she called that she doesn't see me I came from behind and hugged her so tight.. then we spent the whole day together. But you're right, different people different opinions. My logic works like this that I have to show her I care for her more than anyone else in order to 'win' her over. If I'll wait, I lose probably And I wouldn't want anyone to be in my position right now cause I would rather cover myself with a blanket and sleep for weeks
Emilia Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 My logic works like this that I have to show her I care for her more than anyone else in order to 'win' her over. If I'll wait, I lose probably You can't win someone over OP, you need to stop that mentality right now. You should be a good person, be yourself, treat the other person fairly and learn about relationships. If you have to 'win' someone over that's doomed to fail. 1
Author snowman90 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 I put win into '' .. I don't mean it like this, I'm so much used to this word because a lot of guys are saying win her over and stuff. I also talked to many girl friends I have and they all agree I should continue showing what she means to me and that girls like that.. I don't know, how old are you here? Cause she is 20y/o if that makes anything difference in opinions.
Emilia Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I put win into '' .. I don't mean it like this, I'm so much used to this word because a lot of guys are saying win her over and stuff. I also talked to many girl friends I have and they all agree I should continue showing what she means to me and that girls like that.. I don't know, how old are you here? Cause she is 20y/o if that makes anything difference in opinions. Of course. I'm twice her (your) age. The thing is what you need to remember regardless how old you are is that you can't control the other person. there is another guy in the picture, someone who already has hold over her. You can't compete with that. You can't control the outcome. This is true regardless whether you are 20 or 40 or 60. I walk away from men who are emotionally involved with another woman. Plenty of fish
GorillaTheater Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Plenty of fish +1. Snow, I read posts from guys like you and can't help but think that there's some serious "scarcity thinking" going on when I see you compete for someone who appears to be failry unavailable or at least otherwise engaged. Get over that way of thinking, because it's a lie. There are literally millions of attractive, available women. Find one. 1
Author snowman90 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 I've been thinking about moving on but I don't know how, I just simply can't. At least not yet. It's really painful when a person tells you into face how much she likes you and enjoys spending time with you but is doing this on the other hand. And she was the one who actually find me. If it wasnt' for her, I wouldn't have any idea who that person is. Emilia.. I totally agree with you that I can't control the outcome, but I'm pretty sure I can have at least a bit of an influence on it. Would I still want her if she wouldn't talk to me, tell me she likes me etc? I think not. It's the same vice-versa. I've seen so many twists and turnovers in my life that I believe in them. Whether it's okay or not.
Emilia Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Emilia.. I totally agree with you that I can't control the outcome, but I'm pretty sure I can have at least a bit of an influence on it. Would I still want her if she wouldn't talk to me, tell me she likes me etc? I think not. It's the same vice-versa. I've seen so many twists and turnovers in my life that I believe in them. Whether it's okay or not. Ok. I hope you don't get hurt OP. Maybe you need to see this to the bitter end, I do that too sometimes.
Author snowman90 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 Well I'll definitely keep you updated on this situation 1
Author snowman90 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 Well actually about that video.. I'm gonna do a video but not that kind of.. I'm going to visit places we were at and takes photos of them and make a video with a help of these pictures. Sayings will be stupid without you or something like.. Better than using photos from google )
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