LS.Jake Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Hi Guys, Ok, so I joined here to get some support, as I feel like I am putting too much pressure on my friends and family with my break up issues. So here is my story in short: So I had this girlfriend, at the time she was a just friend I met at Gym. She eventually started feeling more and more for me and I was the first guy she felt emotionally connected to, although I was content with us just being friends. So I wasn't interested in being more than friends. It came down to the point were she litteraly cried for me to give her a chance, so she gave me an ultimatum, our friendship gone or more. I decided, why not, let's give a relationship a shot, and so we dit. We dated for about 5 Months, during which I fell hard for her, day by day. We had our difficult moments, during which I wanted to end the relationship a I believed she wasnt ready, although she said im talking nonsense and that we won't discuss the matter. Anyway,I always made her feel special, bought her gifts, took her away on weekends etc. Beginning December, she texted me, saying this isn't working for her anymore. Without reason... I blamed myself, thinking I did something majorly wrong, Or is it because I went out with friends of her who invited me. I don't know... I was totally devasted, broken and still am. I went away over the December holidays, but kept begging her to give me a chance. I know now that my emotions took over the best of me and I wasn't acting rational, so I feel like I lost my dignity and I lost her permanently. She eventually blocked me on Facebook, twitter, whatsapp etc. and ignores me at Gym... It's difficult for me to reconcile the two persons, one who begged for me, now totally despises my existence. I still love her very much and would take a bullet for her. I wake up thinking about her, dream about her... I'm totally lost, emotionally and it's breaking me physically as well. She was the perfect mate for me, I had long term plans and she was just awesome. Guys, I don't know what to do anymore, I'm weak at this point...
TooPatient Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 (edited) People preach about having no-contact all the time here, and usually for good reason. She knows how you feel, so all you can do is work on moving forward. She made it easy for you with the blockings. Avoid going to the gym when she might be there. Definitely don't contact her. It's not easy. You want to figure out exactly what happened and all that thinking/guessing just stresses you out. You'll feel better when you can totally avoid her and get her out of your head a little. One day, you won't think of her when you wake up. You will meet someone else eventually. I've had so many "the ones," that even though I'm basically going through a break up right now, I can laugh about it (at times) and my experiences help me keep everything in perspective. Best of luck man, I know it sucks. You'll build your strength back up. Focus on you and you'll quietly build back respect from her and for yourself. Edited January 31, 2014 by TooPatient sp 1
skydiveaddict Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Guys, I don't know what to do anymore, I'm weak at this point... Hang tough and just gut it out. You'll make it through.
erklat Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 She was the perfect mate for me, I had long term plans and she was just awesome. Guys, I don't know what to do anymore, I'm weak at this point... Yeah, the white space where your plans were hurts as hell. You'll know better next time around.
KelC411 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Hi LS.Jake. I am so so sorry that this happened to you. It sounds like maybe this girl doesn't know what she wants or maybe doesn't want what she can have. But, regardless, her issues/what happened doesn't matter now (even though I know that it feels like it matters more than anything to know why). What matters is that you take the best care of yourself that you can while you heal. As others have said, go NC. Try to go to the gym at times you know she won't be there if at all possible. I know it is hard, but trust me, once I finally went NC after begging and pleading and arguing for a couple weeks, I actually started healing. It will get better, I promise. Unfortunately, grief is one of those things we have to feel. Just try to take good care of you. Make sure you eat even if you don't feel like it. Still get out and work out. If it is too hard to go to that gym, then just go on walks or runs outside or at a mall for a while. hang out with friends and family. As far as losing dignity, don't be hard on yourself. I think most of us have done the begging after a break up that we later regret. We are only human and when we lose someone we love, of course our first instinct is to do anything to change it. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and won't just leave you without trying to fix things. Stay strong *hugs*
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