Guy I'm seeing doesn't have time for me...move on?

[SweetCharity]

OP, I didn't read the responses but only your first post.

 

It could possibly be that he stepped back because you told him you have HPV. And it was even worse that you told him after you had sex with him. I got HPV from an ex. Did he tell me? No. Was it wrong for him to divulge it to me after sex? Yes. It was my decision to make as to whether I wanted to expose myself. It wasn't his decision to make. The next time you date, be upfront. Let them then make the decision as to whether they are willing to expose themselves to a virus that not only stays in your system for a lifetime but has the potential of causing cancer. Educate yourself on HPV if you don't know the ins and outs about it before you make decisions that can affect another person's life.

 

Secondly, you need to never chase a man. When you see someone failing to give you the attention you need, step back. The more you chase, the more you push the other person away. When someone is choosing to ignore you, that's a clear sign. You don't need to ask why, call 10 times, send a million text messages, etc. And if it's taking you all this time and energy to get someone to talk to you, you need to let it go.

 

It's just as well you didn't read the responses. Several got a little mean.

 

I actually know a lot about HPV. Some strains can cause cancer, while others can cause warts. I'm in the first category. It's such a non issue that I didn't even think of it when I mentioned it but I do agree that it was my bad for not mentioning it sooner. HPV actually doesn't stay in your system for a lifetime. Most people my age fight it off within a year or two and you can't reinfect your partner.

[Zahara]

It's just as well you didn't read the responses. Several got a little mean.

 

I actually know a lot about HPV. Some strains can cause cancer, while others can cause warts. I'm in the first category. It's such a non issue that I didn't even think of it when I mentioned it but I do agree that it was my bad for not mentioning it sooner. HPV actually doesn't stay in your system for a lifetime. Most people my age fight it off within a year or two and you can't reinfect your partner.

 

 

It is NOT a non-issue. It is a virus that infects and stays in your body for a lifetime. It IS an issue. It may be a non-issue for you, but allow the other person to make that determination for themselves. If it was a non-issue, why did you tell him after sex. It should have been a non-issue.

 

Yes, 1-2 years is the supposed amount of time estimated for the immune system to fight the virus, suppress it and keep it dormant. It takes that amount of time for the body to find its defences against the virus. The virus however, still stays in your body -- in lay man's terms is "sleeping". My girlfriend is 39. She was diagnosed with HPV at 33. Paps were normal for 5 years. It came back full force last year. And yes, you can infect your partner even if you are not showing symptoms, and that applies for the the low-risk strain as well.

 

There is still a lot of research going on about HPV. Your responsibility is to be open and upfront.

[SweetCharity]

It is NOT a non-issue. It is a virus that infects and stays in your body for a lifetime. It IS an issue. It may be a non-issue for you, but allow the other person to make that determination for themselves. If it was a non-issue, why did you tell him after sex. It should have been a non-issue.

 

Yes, 1-2 years is the supposed amount of time estimated for the immune system to fight the virus, suppress it and keep it dormant. It takes that amount of time for the body to find its defenses against the virus. The virus however, still stays in your body -- in lay man's terms is "sleeping". My girlfriend is 39. She was diagnosed with HPV at 33. Paps were normal for 5 years. It came back full force last year. And yes, you can infect your partner even if you are not showing symptoms, and that applies for the the low-risk strain as well.

 

There is still a lot of research going on about HPV. Your responsibility is to be open and upfront.

 

I told him after sex because I didn't think of it. It was not meant to be a deceptive maneuver.

 

It does not stay in the body for a lifetime. It goes away after two years. I'm 24 and have normal and abnormal paps. And no, you can't reinfect your partner. What are you talking about? Cite your sources.

[SweetCharity]

It is NOT a non-issue. It is a virus that infects and stays in your body for a lifetime. It IS an issue. It may be a non-issue for you, but allow the other person to make that determination for themselves. If it was a non-issue, why did you tell him after sex. It should have been a non-issue.

 

Yes, 1-2 years is the supposed amount of time estimated for the immune system to fight the virus, suppress it and keep it dormant. It takes that amount of time for the body to find its defences against the virus. The virus however, still stays in your body -- in lay man's terms is "sleeping". My girlfriend is 39. She was diagnosed with HPV at 33. Paps were normal for 5 years. It came back full force last year. And yes, you can infect your partner even if you are not showing symptoms, and that applies for the the low-risk strain as well.

 

There is still a lot of research going on about HPV. Your responsibility is to be open and upfront.

 

I've also told someone recently I had HPV and his response was, "Really? That's not even anything to worry about." It varies.

[Zahara]

I told him after sex because I didn't think of it. It was not meant to be a deceptive maneuver.

 

It does not stay in the body for a lifetime. It goes away after two years. I'm 24 and have normal and abnormal paps. And no, you can't reinfect your partner. What are you talking about? Cite your sources.

 

When I was diagnosed, I went to four gynecologists. Why? Because I didn't like hearing each one say to me that it never leaves your body. All four have given me the same information. I have practically been on every site that has articles on HPV like a mad woman. On the CDC and NIH websites, I think I've read every possible article. I'm an active member on two forums providing support, help and information for those dealing with HPV. I've made many friends on there. There are people on there that get a recurrence years after receiving normal pap-smears. My cousin is a gynecologist and I have received the same information. My brother in-law is a urologist and he has confirmed the same information I have been given. I just gave you an example of my friend having clean paps for 5 years and it has come back. There is no cure for HPV. There are treatments to control and suppress it and the most important one is your immune system.

 

There is no need to get defensive and pissy with me. You think I don't want a cure for this damn thing and to never have it in my life again. Phukk yes. I hate going through each day having this shytt in the back of my head. But I am stuck with this thing in my body.

 

And yes, there are medical professionals that believe it will leave your body. But having real people I know receiving normal paps for years only to find that they are again having to deal with a recurrence is proof enough that it doesn't just go away.

 

I'm not going to argue with you about this. The fact that you are getting abnormal paps, is reason enough for you to disclose.

[Zahara]

I've also told someone recently I had HPV and his response was, "Really? That's not even anything to worry about." It varies.

 

Exactly. This is why I said let the other person decide for themselves. It isn't up to you to determine if it's important or relevant. You tell guy you have HPV but you don't tell the person you are about to sleep with that you have HPV.

Edited February 11, 2014 by Zahara

[BC1980]

I told him after sex because I didn't think of it. It was not meant to be a deceptive maneuver.

 

It does not stay in the body for a lifetime. It goes away after two years. I'm 24 and have normal and abnormal paps. And no, you can't reinfect your partner. What are you talking about? Cite your sources.

 

There is no cure for any virus. It just goes dormant. It's like the rhinovirus (common cold). It stays in your body for life. Those are just the facts about viruses. Of course, you can give HPV to someone even if you aren't experiencing symptoms.

[SweetCharity]

When I was diagnosed, I went to four gynecologists. Why? Because I didn't like hearing each one say to me that it never leaves your body. All four have given me the same information. I have practically been on every site that has articles on HPV like a mad woman. On the CDC and NIH websites, I think I've read every possible article. I'm an active member on two forums providing support, help and information for those dealing with HPV. I've made many friends on there. There are people on there that get a recurrence years after receiving normal pap-smears. My cousin is a gynecologist and I have received the same information. My brother in-law is a urologist and he has confirmed the same information I have been given. I just gave you an example of my friend having clean paps for 5 years and it has come back. There is no cure for HPV. There are treatments to control and suppress it and the most important one is your immune system.

 

There is no need to get defensive and pissy with me. You think I don't want a cure for this damn thing and to never have it in my life again. Phukk yes. I hate going through each day having this shytt in the back of my head. But I am stuck with this thing in my body.

 

And yes, there are medical professionals that believe it will leave your body. But having real people I know receiving normal paps for years only to find that they are again having to deal with a recurrence is proof enough that it doesn't just go away.

 

I'm not going to argue with you about this. The fact that you are getting abnormal paps, is reason enough for you to disclose.

 

I was getting defensive because you were making assumptions about me. I never thought it was "up to me" to make decisions for someone else. He'll be fine. I won't.

[Zahara]

I was getting defensive because you were making assumptions about me. I never thought it was "up to me" to make decisions for someone else. He'll be fine. I won't.

 

1) You chose to tell some guy you have HPV yet kept that information from a guy you were about to sleep with and whether you "forgot", didn't think it important, you need to make better decisions for yourself and those that you may affect.

2) And if it was a non-issue, I'm not sure why you told him after you had sex with him versus before.

 

And don't make assumptions about whether he will be okay in terms of being infected. You don't know that. Period.

[SweetCharity]

1) You chose to tell some guy you have HPV yet kept that information from a guy you were about to sleep with and whether you "forgot", didn't think it important, you need to make better decisions for yourself and those that you may affect.

2) And if it was a non-issue, I'm not sure why you told him after you had sex with him versus before.

 

And don't make assumptions about whether he will be okay in terms of being infected. You don't know that. Period.

 

Enough! I didn't come on here for a lecture on how to handle my HPV with partners. This isn't what this post is about. Stop acting like I deliberately didn't tell him before the sex for some reason or other. I would have told him before the sex. I tell a lot of guys about the HPV before the sex. It was a mistake on my part that in this case I didn't but it wasn't because I was trying to hide it or be irresponsible. When I said he will be fine I meant that he won't get cervical cancer because he doesn't have a damn cervix. I don't need to explain myself to you or anyone. Enough. I appreciate the input but just stop.

 

In either case we are getting WAY off topic. This has nothing to do with the HPV. Most likely he decided to dip because he was bored with me and the HPV was a convenient "out." None of it matters anymore because I have stopped all contact with him.

[Zahara]

He doesn't have a cervix but men get infected by getting penile cancer, throat cancer from oral sex from being infected by HPV. And if he is infected already, he stands a chance of now infecting other women that he may sleep with if they do not have the virus or infect them with a different strain. And you shouldn't be engaging in sex when your paps are abnormal because it's a sign that your infection may still be active. Stop making ignorant comments because you are defensive.

 

Your priority should be getting yourself healthy and staying that way. Eat well. Exercise. Meditate. Try to get your body strong to fight it. Getting involved with guys, stressing, crying, worrying, etc. does nothing for you but weaken your immunity. You went from a druggie boyfriend to another guy in seconds. Your goal should be about getting your infection controlled and suppressed. When you start receiving clean paps, you can start dating. Prioritize your health above everything else.

 

Grow up. Educate yourself. It affects both male and female and while risks are low for men it still does happen. Think. Make better choices.

 

I know this is about some guy but you open yourself up to opinion and constructive criticism on a forum when you blatantly act irresponsible.

 

Good luck to you.

Edited February 12, 2014 by Zahara

[SweetCharity]

He doesn't have a cervix but men get infected by getting penile cancer, throat cancer from oral sex from being infected by HPV. And if he is infected already, he stands a chance of now infecting other women that he may sleep with if they do not have the virus or infect them with a different strain. And you shouldn't be engaging in sex when your paps are abnormal because it's a sign that your infection may still be active. Stop making ignorant comments because you are defensive.

 

Your priority should be getting yourself healthy and staying that way. Eat well. Exercise. Meditate. Try to get your body strong to fight it. Getting involved with guys, stressing, crying, worrying, etc. does nothing for you but weaken your immunity. You went from a druggie boyfriend to another guy in seconds. Your goal should be about getting your infection controlled and suppressed. When you start receiving clean paps, you can start dating. Prioritize your health above everything else.

 

Grow up. Educate yourself. It affects both male and female and while risks are low for men it still does happen. Think. Make better choices.

 

I know this is about some guy but you open yourself up to opinion and constructive criticism on a forum when you blatantly act irresponsible.

 

Good luck to you.

 

Your self-righteousness is not very becoming.

[William]

I can see we have some work to do, based on a couple of reports. For now, we'll stem the tide and close this up. Thanks for your participation!