TheBlingRing14 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I've been talking to this guy online. Within the last few days, he has said the following: "This would be a great conversation to have on the phone." "I can just imagine your voice as you say that." (This was in the context of a humorous conversation, not a creepy way) "It's hard to get my tone over the computer. I tell a lot through facial expressions." or a few other things in the same vein. We HAVE spoken on the phone a couple of times. To be fair, he was the one that called. But, again, to be fair, the first time, I sort of prodded him to call me. The second time, he called of his own volition. Anyway I THINK he's hinting that he wants to talk on the phone or maybe even do a video chat. But, here is the problem: 1) He HAS my phone number. If he was interested in talking on the phone, uh, he could just call? 2) He hasn't called. He hasn't even asked if he can call me. But, like I said, I think he is hinting at it? Do you think he is feeling me out? Trying to get me to give him some signs of encouragement? Waiting for me to give him the green light? I don't want to be presumptuous and be like "Hey wanna call me?" and then I come across as desperate or something. Thoughts?
almond Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 1) He HAS my phone number. If he was interested in talking on the phone, uh, he could just call? 2) He hasn't called. ... To be fair, he was the one that called. But, again, to be fair, the first time, I sort of prodded him to call me. The second time, he called of his own volition. He has called you twice. I think you're making this more complicated than it needs to be. If you want to speak to him, give him a call! Easy fix. 1
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 Touche. Let me clarify. He hasn't called since he started all these little comments he has been making. And, it isn't necessarily that I want him to call. I don't have anything to talk to him about. Just trying to interpret why he keeps saying these things.
TMichaels Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 He's cheap. He wants you to call him. Why aren't you using Skype? Best, TMichaels
Keenly Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 He's cheap. He wants you to call him. Why aren't you using Skype? Best, TMichaels How is wanting to be desired cheap, exactly? 1
justwhoiam Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 (edited) - "This would be a great conversation to have on the phone." - "Sure, why not? Next time you call me." - "I can just imagine your voice as you say that." - "Oh, you imagine my voice? How often?" - "It's hard to get my tone over the computer. I tell a lot through facial expressions." - "You know what? Me too. We have something in common." That would be the type of conversation I would be having with him. Spontaneous. No smilies inbetween. Edited January 31, 2014 by justwhoiam 1
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 He's cheap. He wants you to call him. Why aren't you using Skype? Best, TMichaels Um, well I haven't downloaded Skype onto my computer yet, as I don't have anyone I Skype with. It just hasn't gotten that far yet. I don't mind to do it, and I am sure I will at some point. But, I am not intentionally not using Skype. Just never had a need for it before. I'm not sure about the "cheap" thing though. I mean, with mobile phones, you don't have long distance charges, just minutes. And, if I am thinking correctly, minutes used are the same whether you are the caller or callee. Plus, anymore, points allowances are so absurdly high, I doubt many people reach them. Further, pretty much every carrier has free nights and weekends. You may be right. He may want me to call. But, I doubt money is the factor there.
Syreeni Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 he has said the following: "This would be a great conversation to have on the phone." "I can just imagine your voice as you say that." (This was in the context of a humorous conversation, not a creepy way) "It's hard to get my tone over the computer. I tell a lot through facial expressions." He is strongly hinting that he want to Skype. Voice plus video. He's not calling because he already spoke to you over the phone and he doesn't want it to fall into only phone chats or a longer period of phone chats, when what he really wants is to video chat. That way he can see you, live. Just be wise to a camera that miraculously doesn't work. (Not saying this guy is like that, just saying...it happens) I'm getting the feeling you are a bit reluctant to Skype and want to keep it phone conversations/just voice for a bit. Cross purposes. Somebody is going to break and be direct soon enough. In case you are not aware you can use Skype for just the voice portion. You should be able to not display camera to contacts. Some option in there does that...
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 Thanks everyone. I guess it was all for naught, though, and I must have been reading too much into his wording. Today, we were having a perfectly pleasant conversation. It started veering into semi-serious land. I get the "I talk to you like one of my very close female friends" Ugh. Don't ya just love it? "Friends." He went on to talk about how he was holding out for a woman he could fall in love with, and even if it hasn't happened yet, he still treasures the friendships he has made along the way. (Which I am assuming that includes me)
justwhoiam Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 By my own experience, men friendzone a woman only if she's off limits for some reason (e.g. their best friend's girlfriend). If she's unattractive, in most cases they wouldn't be interested, but the woman is not automatically friendzoned. Same goes if she's nutty or extreme, they probably don't see her as gf material, but that wouldn't necessarily have to do with being sexual with her... So, in short, chances to be friendzoned are slim. All that he said is just awkward, pretty man-style. Again, you didn't take the opportunity to say something like "Well, maybe she's there among your friendships, and you don't know yet. I had a friend who..." blah blah and you go with your amazing story. Food for thought.
FitChick Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 I am postponing putting up my dating profile because I know I will get the Skype video request and I can't afford to buy a new computer. Mine is so old it can't handle Skype. I also worry that Skype guys tend to want to sext.
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 By my own experience, men friendzone a woman only if she's off limits for some reason (e.g. their best friend's girlfriend). If she's unattractive, in most cases they wouldn't be interested, but the woman is not automatically friendzoned. Same goes if she's nutty or extreme, they probably don't see her as gf material, but that wouldn't necessarily have to do with being sexual with her... So, in short, chances to be friendzoned are slim. All that he said is just awkward, pretty man-style. Again, you didn't take the opportunity to say something like "Well, maybe she's there among your friendships, and you don't know yet. I had a friend who..." blah blah and you go with your amazing story. Food for thought. Um, I hate to come across as dumb but....huh? Can you condense all that you said into maybe a more simple explanation? What is pretty man-style?
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 I took the liberty of re-posting our conversation. Was I reading too much into things? I am Underlines. He is italicized. i wanted to see if i could meet a girl that i would fall in love with, because it hasn't happened oh. i've met some amazing people, ones who i have became great friends with such as yourself, and i pray for you gals, and value the friendships i have made okay. why did u join? boredom why do you think, james? hey now, don't be snarky lol, i answered honestly and deserve a respectful answer in return lol I know...I'm trying not to cry as I formulate a response im sorry, i did not mean to come across as brash, please do not cry not your fault just thinking about.....all of it.....is making me emotional Hugs!!! I was absolutely convinced there was a guy out there who didn't care about stupid things but who would see into my heart and care about me and that guy maybe still out there doubt it god has a plan for all of us okay whatever you say all im saying is don't get discouraged, and keep in mind, u still met people yeah....and? so? but still, u met ppl, maybe meeting the ppl u do meet are stepping stones I really doubt it, James that's fair, but i wouldn't call it a failure well, it's not your heart is it? u think it was an entire waste of time? maybe not a waste of time but it would have probably saved me a whole lot of stress and heartache had I NOT joined im sorry u are feeling sad i know you arethat makes it worse whys that? i dont want you feeling sorry for me im not feeling sorry for u, I am just simply saying that I am sorry to hear that it made u so sad, im not "feeling sorry" okay well I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to be such a downer. And...that was that. I haven't heard anything since. No online messages. No calls. No texts. And he ALWAYS texts me on the weekends. Anyway...if that's not being friendzoned, I don't know what is.
Eau Claire Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 After a couple of message changes or a phone call, a guy should be asking to meet you in person. If not, move on. You should be guarded about too much on line chit chat and never reveal specific info such as where you live, work, last name, etc.
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 After a couple of message changes or a phone call, a guy should be asking to meet you in person. If not, move on. You should be guarded about too much on line chit chat and never reveal specific info such as where you live, work, last name, etc. Well, this was on FB, so the whole where you live and last name ship has sailed. I do disagree slightly. I personally am a slow mover when it comes to OLD. I mean, not glacial, if it is THAT slow, I'm done. But, if a guy, even one nearby, talked about wanting to meet after two or three exchanges, it would be a red flag to me. I would assume he is just looking for a hookup. Now, for someone in a long distance situation, which obviously this is, by about 10 hours, I certainly wouldn't expect them to be talking about meeting up that quickly. That would be even more of a red flag.
Syreeni Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 I hate to say this but he could have couched you because of your reluctance to video chat. If he saw some profile pictures, the live video would be proof/reassurance that they are not 10 year old photos or " best angles" or if you only had head shots- he wants to see your body. And I really hate to say this...maybe he wanted easy/cheap live video porn. Spend a little time talking on video and see how long it takes to get your clothes off. ( pretty much like the OLD that look for hook ups- long distance guys sometimes look for cam hook ups) You were reluctant, he got discouraged...moved on with the whole friends excuse, which could also be a last ditch effort to push you into getting on video. The hope that you come back with - give me a chance, I'll get on chat, you'll see we can be a match. Maybe that guy preys on desperation... Or...he was on the up 'n up but wasn't really feeling a connection. Or, the combo answer. He was waffling about the connection and seeing you on cam would have helped him make his choice to pursue or cut. He gave up when his hints didn't produce results quick enough for him. It's probably which ever one your gut is telling you it is.
Syreeni Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 No matter how " you gals" and " value the friendships" he tries to come across as...he' still a guy. Either way, I'm sorry it didn't turn out as you had hoped. He may not have been the one for you, but don't give up!
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