Luke12345 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Broke up with my ex about 2 months ago, had the ocassional run in since and the ocassional text message (mix of who initiated) as were trying to be friends. Struggled at first but I feel fine with it now, but I can't seem to get her out of my head. Literally I am absolutely fine with talking to her, no attachment, just like passing friends now, except I wake up in the morning and she is the first thing I think about, she's on my mind all day, and when I go to bed she is the last thing I think about and I don't know why. I've tried everything to keep busy and preoccupied, I'm working out, going for runs, I've started a business plan to run my own business, all in all generally things to improve myself, but nothing seems to work. Can anyone explain why she is taking over like 75% of my daily thinking time when I'm sure I don't want her back, am happy with being friends, and am currently quite happy with my own achievements as of late?
carl777 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 You should do NC for a few months (even if you're happy with being friends with her). 1
tlegend Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Why?....... ..............To stop the daily thinking.
Author Luke12345 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 OK, I'll give it a try. I just hate ignoring people though, I'm not a bad guy and ill feel horrible doing that as there's nothing wrong between us right now, but I shall try it. It needs to stop! Thanks.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Maybe its just because that part of your life is empty... u probably miss the close company and not necessarily her but your mind relates her to that void... maybe a few dates would do u good x
CelticGibson Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 You are not fine with it. If you were, you wouldn't spend any more time thinking about her than what to have for breakfast. You are still hooked, despite saying that you are fine with it. This isn't a brain teaser, it's not even a conundrum. It's painfully obvious that you are not over this girl yet and you should take a leave of absence until you are fine with it...for real. 2
Tayla Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Where is the brain teaser? Why ohh why must people tease someones brains! That really must hurt
Author Luke12345 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 Yeah so...umm...NC kinda didn't work already lol. I went out out last night to the pub and she turned up, I focused on myself but she got upset about something so eventually spoke to her and somehow ended up back at mine having sex and then spent all day together today, oops! Really don't know how it happened lol.
Onmymind Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 You didn't give enough background , you broke up with her? Why? How did she take it? Was it more mutual? If you guys are hooking up , talking and hanging out you're both torturing each other. Break ups are for a reason, not for random change. If she is holding into you and you keep giving in despite letting her to, you're leading her on and toying w/ her feelings, so stop that at once. Or she's the one instigating all of these events, tell her to cease and desist. Hooking up and keeping in contact post breakup is like digging up a corpse to beat it with a baseball bat. That relationship is dead, don't dishonor it by attempting to keep a deformed and unreal reanimated version of it alive. I would simply go hardcore nc, if you guys should happen to reconnect in the future, great, but a few months will do little to nothing.
Author Luke12345 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 You didn't give enough background , you broke up with her? Why? How did she take it? Was it more mutual? If you guys are hooking up , talking and hanging out you're both torturing each other. Break ups are for a reason, not for random change. If she is holding into you and you keep giving in despite letting her to, you're leading her on and toying w/ her feelings, so stop that at once. Or she's the one instigating all of these events, tell her to cease and desist. Hooking up and keeping in contact post breakup is like digging up a corpse to beat it with a baseball bat. That relationship is dead, don't dishonor it by attempting to keep a deformed and unreal reanimated version of it alive. I would simply go hardcore nc, if you guys should happen to reconnect in the future, great, but a few months will do little to nothing. I broke up with her, I couldn't trust her. It was very rocky at the end so she took it well even though since she tells me she still loves me. You know what, never mind, I don't want to talk about it, its all very confusing. None of u will ever actually understand.
herself Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Is it yoyr experience that friendship has delayed your healing or made you deep diwn hold onto hope...aka shes still here? Just curious & NOT judging. Just SO many here say you cant be friends, so I wonder. ....cause my gut says shes always on your mind cause you still love her and NOT in just a fruendship way....the Im ok talking to her part is your walls & guard up to protect yourself. mainly Im curious if theres no time or space apart how you can grow, change, have absence make heart grow fonder, or just be you....without her and rediscover yiu. Again, not poking holes...more wanting to learn. Cause you cant just shut that relationship deep love off right? So what did u do with it?
Itspointless Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 You know what, never mind, I don't want to talk about it, its all very confusing. None of u will ever actually understand. I guess many people here wish they wouldn't understand you. Unfortunately many people get into confusing situations where they feel really ambivalent. Sometimes love means letting go. The hard part is that we most of the time do not know if we make the best choices, I do not. We can monitor though how our mind and body react to the things we experience and make decisions based on those facts. Does that make it the best choice? Well we can only find out while trying to keep our sanity. People here are trying to help you with that last thing as most of the time in life that is the only thing we can steer a bit.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 I broke up with her, I couldn't trust her. It was very rocky at the end so she took it well even though since she tells me she still loves me. You know what, never mind, I don't want to talk about it, its all very confusing. None of u will ever actually understand. Writing a couple sentences then saying "Nevermind I dont want to talk about it" is such a ploy for more attention. Why not just stop writing? And your situation is not special or unique.
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