crazybestie101 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Yesterday,i had so much urge to look at our photos , emails , chats and listen to song he sang to ask me out. I smiled for 1-2 minutes while looking at it, suddenly turn into 10 min of crying/ sadness. Why things ended the way it did . Now his bday is approaching in week and so do the day that happen to be our anniversary. i have been going through emotional phase at moment. Though i am firm on my decision that i will never ever reach out. At moment i feel like lets just email him on his bday with song , saying how i am still missing and waiting. Completely CRAZY idea!!! I know, right? I wont do it , its just that i am getting all thoughts. Also , inside of my heart i feel like now he thinks of me here and there as that day is approaching , so do his bday. I wont contact him , just sharing with you all!
Luke12345 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 That's OK, vent out stick to your decision though, you sound like you're feeling vulnerable and there will definitely be a great urge to email your ex, but imagine what can of worms that could open, and in ur current mental state could you handle that? Stay strong 1
redbaron005 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Yesterday,i had so much urge to look at our photos , emails , chats and listen to song he sang to ask me out. I smiled for 1-2 minutes while looking at it, suddenly turn into 10 min of crying/ sadness. Why things ended the way it did . Now his bday is approaching in week and so do the day that happen to be our anniversary. i have been going through emotional phase at moment. Though i am firm on my decision that i will never ever reach out. At moment i feel like lets just email him on his bday with song , saying how i am still missing and waiting. Completely CRAZY idea!!! I know, right? I wont do it , its just that i am getting all thoughts. Also , inside of my heart i feel like now he thinks of me here and there as that day is approaching , so do his bday. I wont contact him , just sharing with you all! Maybe you should sing yourself a new song and on that day ask yourself out - go treat yourself to something you enjoy. 1
OhThatGirl Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Reread what I wrote in your previous post. It's been long enough. Time to put this guy out of your mind. It was a 3 month long distance thing that ended with the guy saying he "didn't want to get in to a relationship." An "anniversary" marks the point of 1 year being significant for something. This situation with the guy lasted 3 months... Certainly not worth remembering the anniversary of. Time to see what else is out there. The busier you keep, the more new things you try, the more you heal and move on the less you will make these dates significant in your life. I assure you he's not thinking about you or the anniversary. He said he wanted to date a lot of women. It's been 9 months (3 times the initial length of the relationship) and he has moved on. You should too!! If you want to see an example of someone who handles a 3 month relationship with dignity, look for jejangles comments on my original post. You will see how she wasn't getting the level of commitment she wanted so she ended things and moved on. How? She knows life goes on. She knows she has other things in life to do. She knows 3 months isn't worth 9 months of misery. Let him go. He's not yours and he has moved on. 1
Author crazybestie101 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 Reread what I wrote in your previous post. It's been long enough. Time to put this guy out of your mind. It was a 3 month long distance thing that ended with the guy saying he "didn't want to get in to a relationship." An "anniversary" marks the point of 1 year being significant for something. This situation with the guy lasted 3 months... Certainly not worth remembering the anniversary of. Time to see what else is out there. The busier you keep, the more new things you try, the more you heal and move on the less you will make these dates significant in your life. I assure you he's not thinking about you or the anniversary. He said he wanted to date a lot of women. It's been 9 months (3 times the initial length of the relationship) and he has moved on. You should too!! If you want to see an example of someone who handles a 3 month relationship with dignity, look for jejangles comments on my original post. You will see how she wasn't getting the level of commitment she wanted so she ended things and moved on. How? She knows life goes on. She knows she has other things in life to do. She knows 3 months isn't worth 9 months of misery. Let him go. He's not yours and he has moved on. Yesssss.. You are like my therapist.I wish there was option to double like this post. I understand what you are planning on saying but now this landed me to new question: So does that mean my ex never thought about me for even split second after he dumped ? like not even once? This also makes me think how fool i am that i spent my emotions , time and money on this guy , the guy who told me that i am "fake" when i saw him last time and doesnt even think of me now because he is so called " moved on". In no means, i am expecting that he should be thinking of every second or everyday but atleast once in while.
ayudorama Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I understand what you are planning on saying but now this landed me to new question: So does that mean my ex never thought about me for even split second after he dumped ? like not even once? This also makes me think how fool i am that i spent my emotions , time and money on this guy , the guy who told me that i am "fake" when i saw him last time and doesnt even think of me now because he is so called " moved on". In no means, i am expecting that he should be thinking of every second or everyday but atleast once in while. If what you both had meant anything at all to him, he'd probably be thinking of you sporadically. Our exes are humans too, but it isn't our business what they're thinking, or not thinking. Even if they do think of us every now and then, it isn't enough for them to do anything. Bottomline is: it doesn't matter. Reality bites but sigh, we move on forward. 1
Author crazybestie101 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 If what you both had meant anything at all to him, he'd probably be thinking of you sporadically. Our exes are humans too, but it isn't our business what they're thinking, or not thinking. Even if they do think of us every now and then, it isn't enough for them to do anything. Bottomline is: it doesn't matter. Reality bites but sigh, we move on forward. Yes , i was his first ever girl he thought of dating , he was head over heels at begining , he pursued me all the way until he was in. Even after break up he kept telling he doesnt want to hold any grudges ( Ya , right!) and wants to remember this as good memories.
Haydn Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Glad your venting! I got rid of everything i had of her. (Had to). Yep special song s etc...(Shame mine was `everything she wants`) Wham.
OhThatGirl Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Yesssss.. You are like my therapist.I wish there was option to double like this post. I understand what you are planning on saying but now this landed me to new question: So does that mean my ex never thought about me for even split second after he dumped ? like not even once? This also makes me think how fool i am that i spent my emotions , time and money on this guy , the guy who told me that i am "fake" when i saw him last time and doesnt even think of me now because he is so called " moved on". In no means, i am expecting that he should be thinking of every second or everyday but atleast once in while. He probably thought about you a little bit. But that in no way means he wants to be with you.. Which happens to be the only thing you're looking for. So really, it doesn't matter if he did or not. The chances of him thinking of you now are even less. 9 months later? After 3 months together? Long distance? Nah. The real question... Why are you still thinking about him??? He called you "fake"... How long ago? And better yet.. So what? People have said much worse. We get past it. The relevance this has in your life should be completely non existent. Got that? A guy you had a brief thing with called you fake. Big deal. And this "so called 'moved on'" statement.. Why was it in quotes like it's not real?? Yes he has moved on. Of course he has moved on. 99.999% of people in this situation would have moved on. Why haven't you??? It's been 9 months. This is the length of time some people need in order to move past several year long relationships, marriages, living together, having kids together. I know everyone's time for healing is different but that's because: it is what you make it. You aren't doing the work to get over this. You're setting yourself back. Listen to me. People have a hard time getting over ended relationships because of the connection they had with a person - things they did together, places they went, roles they played, the way they smelled, the experience of having someone so close to you day in and day out, the shared family experiences, the past ups and downs that that partner helped you celebrate or cope with. You had 3 months long distance with this guy!! Many of these really hard things aren't even relevant! So now you have to figure out what exactly it is that you're holding on to.. Because it's not the beautiful relationship and all the shared memories. Is it an ego thing? Is it because you don't have enough to keep you occupied? Is it because you don't think you'll find someone that can make you happy? What is it? Because it's NOT the relationship the two of you had. Believe me. You're in for some serious trouble if you can't see your inability to cope with this and change it. This isn't about him. It's about you. Figure out exactly what it is that prevents you from moving on and just.. move on. 1
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