Gaveeverything Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 (edited) So here it is 4th day nc and the breadcrumb arrived via text to me the dumpee(male) came from my ex gf: Brief message and picture of something that a family member might like then short hope your having a good day style comment. We went out for just shy of a year, ended almost a week ago politely not messy at all between us. Then I went completely into nc via this guide. From reading this guide a couple times, this appears to be textbook breadcrumb. Taking and needing all advice. Edited January 30, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
jphcbpa Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 So here it is 4th day nc and the breadcrumb arrived via text to me the dumpee(male) came from my ex gf: Brief message and picture of something that a family member might like then short hope your having a good day style comment. We went out for just shy of a year, ended almost a week ago politely not messy at all between us. Then I went completely into nc via this guide. From reading this guide a couple times, this appears to be textbook breadcrumb. Taking and needing all advice. yes breadcrumb...do not respond. what was the reason for the BU? 1
Author Gaveeverything Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 yes breadcrumb...do not respond. what was the reason for the BU? The reason from her was that I deserved someone better than her, I wasn't expecting it or anything. I haven't given all the details about her and her emotional blueprint yet, but everything seemed to be fine between us, just went on a vacation over the holidays and everything appeared normal
jphcbpa Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 The reason from her was that I deserved someone better than her, I wasn't expecting it or anything. I haven't given all the details about her and her emotional blueprint yet, but everything seemed to be fine between us, just went on a vacation over the holidays and everything appeared normal that was it? really? what was her reason for saying that?
Author Gaveeverything Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 that was it? really? what was her reason for saying that? I don't really know, she said that her feelings were going back and forth and that she though it was the time for us to stop seeing each other. She is a very un-emotional person who doesn't show her feelings at all. She moved about 4 hours south of me approximately 4 months ago for her career(she is a complete corporate workaholic)And she said that she sees how much effort I put in and she knows that she doesn't put in barely any effort. She said that I deserve someone that I could see everyday instead if only a few times per month. That is also what makes it difficult for me to understand. There isn't a real reason that I can see.
jphcbpa Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I don't really know, she said that her feelings were going back and forth and that she though it was the time for us to stop seeing each other. She is a very un-emotional person who doesn't show her feelings at all. She moved about 4 hours south of me approximately 4 months ago for her career(she is a complete corporate workaholic)And she said that she sees how much effort I put in and she knows that she doesn't put in barely any effort. She said that I deserve someone that I could see everyday instead if only a few times per month. That is also what makes it difficult for me to understand. There isn't a real reason that I can see. one or both 1) there is another man she is interested in 2) she is being sincere. Bottom line is you cannot change her mind. And you DO NOT want to be with someone who is unsure. Give her what she wants. NC hardcore. Also you do not want to be in a one sided R. 1
Author Gaveeverything Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 one or both 1) there is another man she is interested in 2) she is being sincere. Bottom line is you cannot change her mind. And you DO NOT want to be with someone who is unsure. Give her what she wants. NC hardcore. Also you do not want to be in a one sided R. I agree I just really didn't expect this breadcrumb, honestly. I agree with the guide anything and everything short of like a complete 180 message about her mistakes and how much she needs me (even then I would consult serious advice about breaking nc). But I believe that she is most likely just being sincere. I'm just very confused about the breadcrumb. I'm telling you she has the emotional ability if a dead moth. What do you think the reason is behind the breadcrumb? And I asked when we spoke last if she wanted to see other people, just trying to find out an actual REASON but she said no, but obviously no way of knowing if that was true.
organizedchaos Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I agree I just really didn't expect this breadcrumb, honestly. I agree with the guide anything and everything short of like a complete 180 message about her mistakes and how much she needs me (even then I would consult serious advice about breaking nc). But I believe that she is most likely just being sincere. I'm just very confused about the breadcrumb. I'm telling you she has the emotional ability if a dead moth. What do you think the reason is behind the breadcrumb? And I asked when we spoke last if she wanted to see other people, just trying to find out an actual REASON but she said no, but obviously no way of knowing if that was true. The reason for the crumb is likely due to the fact that the bu and nc is still very fresh. Over time, she will adjust to you not being in her life and it will dissipate. 1
Author Gaveeverything Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 The reason for the crumb is likely due to the fact that the bu and nc is still very fresh. Over time, she will adjust to you not being in her life and it will dissipate. agreed. what if i get a message about wanting me back in her life? i doubt that will happen, but then again i thought the breadcrumbs was a scenario that was highly unlikely 1
William Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Folks, since this was a threadjack in another thread, moderation created a new thread to discuss this particular member's issues. Some post titles may be out of order and I titled the thread the best I could from reading. Please continue!
organizedchaos Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 agreed. what if i get a message about wanting me back in her life? i doubt that will happen, but then again i thought the breadcrumbs was a scenario that was highly unlikely If it's as direct as that, and you want her back, then you'll need to go very, very slowly and talk about what happened and how things will change.
Author Gaveeverything Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 If it's as direct as that, and you want her back, then you'll need to go very, very slowly and talk about what happened and how things will change. yes, i agree. this "person" who i was with described herself as "cold and distant", and said that her previous bf's had said the same thing. also said that they would usually break up and get back together. any comments?
TaraMaiden Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Ignore the breadcrumbs, and don't even think of getting back with her. She self-sabotages, and has admitted she's difficult to get through to emotionally. If she's 'cold and distant' is that really someone you want to try to work at forming a relationship with? People's emotions need nourishment, not punishment. Ignore her message, block her number, delete her from your phone, and move on. 2
Author Gaveeverything Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 Ignore the breadcrumbs, and don't even think of getting back with her. She self-sabotages, and has admitted she's difficult to get through to emotionally. If she's 'cold and distant' is that really someone you want to try to work at forming a relationship with? People's emotions need nourishment, not punishment. Ignore her message, block her number, delete her from your phone, and move on. yea i have done that. and yea i know deep down i wouldnt want to be with a self described "cold and distant" person. i honestly dont know anyone who would. this was a person who when i surprised her with a romantic vacation over christmas to the bahamas, just the two of us, asked "how is that romantic?"
Author Gaveeverything Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 oh i forgot to mention that she cheated on me with some other guy at the beginning of our relationship. also that this person would continue to message her from time to time when we were together and i would see it and ask wtf was going on, she said that she was no longer in contact with him and he was playing mind games with her trying to get a response. she said that she never contacted him and would just delete the messages when they arrived.
Trep Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 If she cheated on you in the past I wouldn't be suprised if she cheated on you again, hence the you "deserve someone better than her" comment. She probably felt guilty. Breaking up with you was probably just easier than admitting it and dealing with it. 1
Author Gaveeverything Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 If she cheated on you in the past I wouldn't be suprised if she cheated on you again, hence the you "deserve someone better than her" comment. She probably felt guilty. Breaking up with you was probably just easier than admitting it and dealing with it. i guess there is no way to know, ill probably never know, but i believe people get whats coming to them. but why do you think the breadcrumb on day 4 nc?
guest572 Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Maybe she just feels guilty and wants to know you are ok? 4 days isn't so long
organizedchaos Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 i guess there is no way to know, ill probably never know, but i believe people get whats coming to them. but why do you think the breadcrumb on day 4 nc? Already answered that,
Author Gaveeverything Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 Here it is day 10 nc, still wondering what she is up to, she sent me a breadcrumb on day 4 nc after dumping me, i didnt respond. keep finding myself wondering if she will send another message. i would like to get a message from her saying that she was wrong and wants to try again. but i doubt that it will happen. ive done everything except blocking her number in my phone. removed every part of her from my life other than memories that i have.
flightplan Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 That's all you can do. Keep yourself busy, occupy your mind with other things. Hang in there, this too shall pass.
David87 Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Here it is day 10 nc, still wondering what she is up to, she sent me a breadcrumb on day 4 nc after dumping me, i didnt respond. keep finding myself wondering if she will send another message. i would like to get a message from her saying that she was wrong and wants to try again. but i doubt that it will happen. ive done everything except blocking her number in my phone. removed every part of her from my life other than memories that i have. Block her number form your phone now, she ain't coming back. 1
herself Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Day 11 today. In a few more weeks you will start to have more good days and it will also be a month. You feel very low right now but its normal and keep going. I agree to block fb, phone, email. Your in charge now, and what you need is peace and constantly looking at your phone is a set back so eliminate by blocking. Keep that chin up, everyone here is behind you.
Chi townD Posted February 6, 2014 Posted February 6, 2014 Keep going forward dude. You're doing fine. You're going to run through a lot of emotions. Just be aware to that and don't give into temptation.
Author Gaveeverything Posted February 7, 2014 Author Posted February 7, 2014 My ex gf broke up with me 12 days ago, i have been nc ever since, she sent a breadcrumb on day 4 nc, i didnt respond, i have deactivated all social media, pictures and items on my phone and around my apartment, deleted her number, there is no trace of her left. i just dont know if i need to block her number or not. i would like her to come back, if i blocked her number i would never know if she wanted to try again. Should i block it?
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