KathyM Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I'm not a counselor. No kidding? With a personality like that, I think you missed your true calling. I mean, your finese with women is a true gift which you should be sharing with the masses. 2
NYSean Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Even if she is an insecure, manipulative user trying to get a free dinner, treating a person like garbage says more about you than her. Your desire to retaliate instead of just letting it go could also be seen as pathetic. You get joy and satisfaction from embarrassing someone. A secure person with a strong character's actions remain consistent and civil, regardless of the behavior of others. LOL you'd think I care if someone thought I was garbage? If it meant that in the future she knows that not every guy would fall for this crap then I've done my job. Consistent and civil -- got it so just bottle all of that pain inside and just let her walk away scot free to prey on another sucker. I don't get joy and satisfaction from embarrassing someone. I've said time and time again I treat others as to how they treat me. But okay, I'll just keep my composure next time someone wants to walk all over me and not put my foot down. Got it, because putting my foot down to stand up for myself means I'm insecure. LOL
Imported Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 If all she was looking for was a f*ck, then she would have done that, now wouldn't she? No. Why would you think that. 3
Quiet Storm Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 LOL you'd think I care if someone thought I was garbage? If it meant that in the future she knows that not every guy would fall for this crap then I've done my job. Consistent and civil -- got it so just bottle all of that pain inside and just let her walk away scot free to prey on another sucker. I don't get joy and satisfaction from embarrassing someone. I've said time and time again I treat others as to how thgey treat me. But okay, I'll just keep my composure next time someone wants to walk all over me and not put my foot down. Got it, because putting my foot down to stand up for myself means I'm insecure. LOL You can stand up for yourself and be assertive without being an a5shole and making fun of people. 1
NYSean Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 No kidding? With a personality like that, I think you missed your true calling. I mean, your finese with women is a true gift which you should be sharing with the masses. If you only knew how much better I am with women than you with men. Play the ignorance is bliss card. I am laughing at your posts just as much as you to me. Yeah and you're doing such a great job yourself with someone actually paying attention to my advice along with yours when logically you, make a living out of this. ROFL. Like I said, your sarcasm is cute old lady, the fact that some people agree with my point of view over your "YEARS OF EXPERIENCE" is pathetic on your end. Like I said any idiot in America can have a job. You are seriously lacking reading comprehension skills. Either that or you have selective reading. Hahahha
NYSean Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 You can stand up for yourself and be assertive without being an a5shole and making fun of people. I wouldn't make fun of her. If a woman wanted to tell me out of complete random that she drives a 86 k Mercedes with no context; I would seriously ask her are you compensating for some inadequacy? Cause it's the WEIRDEST thing you would ask on a date. If she did indeed had an inadequacy, then I'd do my best to let her know she's being stupid for having one. If she decides to tell me that she likes to reject men on OKCupid on a FIRST meeting then I'd ask why on earth would you tell me that. I would think is she trying to let me know that she is a hot commodity? How would that make me an ******* if I want to know why she is acting weird? 1
mortensorchid Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 You're asking others for advice on how to change her mind on this? She sounds like a whackjob. Outlining everything and putting herself in command is what she did before you even knew anything about each other. Move on. 2
Emilia Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 what did she expect? Imported is right. She was looking to build a rapport and sexual chemistry in a push-pull 'ravish-me-now' sort of way. She was definitely after sex, no disrespect but it's pretty much the only reason an affluent 42 year-old who likes nice things would go on a date with a 25 year-old. You will learn OP, you will meet more older women like her. 1
Emilia Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 If all she was looking for was a f*ck, then she would have done that, now wouldn't she? She tried.
antonio1149 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Imported is right. She was looking to build a rapport and sexual chemistry in a push-pull 'ravish-me-now' sort of way. She was definitely after sex, no disrespect but it's pretty much the only reason an affluent 42 year-old who likes nice things would go on a date with a 25 year-old. I disagree completely. From Mark1's description, she gave pretty clear signs that she wasn't after sex, including blatantly announcing it. Women don't say those things, and act that way, as a "sexual chemistry builder." If she's all that attractive and a model, she's probably endured many years of guys coming on to her just looking to get laid so she has built up huge walls against that. You would think a 42-year-old would not be realistically viewing a 25-year-old as relationship material. You would be wrong. Research shows that women doing OLD gravitate towards younger men, especially if they're 40+. I know plenty of women who feel that because they exercise, dye their hair, and "look young for their age," deserve a guy 5, 10 or even 15 years younger. And not just as a playmate, but as a long-term partner. Possibly the reason for her obnoxious comments is that she knew right from the start he didn't live up her standards so she said discouraging things so he wouldn't get his hopes up. The fact that she wasn't interested is apparent by her follow-up text. Of course, it's also possible that's she's insecure and needs to brag about her car, her OKCupid suitors, etc. for that reason. Not much you can do about that. In any case, Mark1, it's unclear what you were looking to get out of this. Relationship? Or just a hookup? It might help in the future to clarify this because they are different goals that require different approaches. Ultimately, it didn't really matter, as she was looking for something, apparently didn't find it, and moved on.
Emilia Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I disagree completely. From Mark1's description, she gave pretty clear signs that she wasn't after sex, including blatantly announcing it. Women don't say those things, and act that way, as a "sexual chemistry builder." If she's all that attractive and a model, she's probably endured many years of guys coming on to her just looking to get laid so she has built up huge walls against that. You have a lot to learn about women She wanted to be ravished alright. It's a little game, 'I'm not that kind of girl', 'don't come up to my place' then she kissed him at the door. She wanted a young attractive body pushed against hers trying to convince her to give in. Maybe she wouldn't have then but she would have next time. Believe me, I know how this works You would think a 42-year-old would not be realistically viewing a 25-year-old as relationship material. You would be wrong. Research shows that women doing OLD gravitate towards younger men, especially if they're 40+. I know plenty of women who feel that because they exercise, dye their hair, and "look young for their age," deserve a guy 5, 10 or even 15 years younger. And not just as a playmate, but as a long-term partner. Um, nope. I'm 41 and no disrespect to 25 year-olds, I love them but they are rarely relationship material for someone my age. Not saying it doesn't happen but older women are realistic. We know this sort of thing is usually for fun. Especially when she is affluent, likes money and he can't offer any of those things. Possibly the reason for her obnoxious comments is that she knew right from the start he didn't live up her standards so she said discouraging things so he wouldn't get his hopes up. The fact that she wasn't interested is apparent by her follow-up text. Of course, it's also possible that's she's insecure and needs to brag about her car, her OKCupid suitors, etc. for that reason. Not much you can do about that. A 42 year-old woman won't kiss a guy on her own doorstep unless she wants to f**k him. I'd like to find any woman in her 40s here who has ever initiated a kiss with a man she didn't want to have sex with. 1
StanMusial Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 You're two people who would most likely never get together in reality. When the fantasy world of OLD met the world of reality things went sideways. It was kind of strange for her to say all these things. Almost like she was thinking out loud and trying to make sense out of the situation. It's also strange for a 25 y/o to troll the interwebs for 42 y/o faded beauties, so I guess that's a wash. My advice is to stop with the OLD and date girls your own age or a few years younger. Stop being a weirdo.
kaylan Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Oh yeah so that's why on a first meeting it's cool to tell a man how she rejects TONS of guys on OKCupid and decides to casually tell a story about how she rejected a man because he didn't pay for her on a first date. Way up there with a man bragging to a girl on a first date on how much money he makes or what car he drives. That's a REALLY mature thing to say on a first date. Hey Kathy, if the apocalypse comes tell me which rock you're staying at cause it seems you've been living under it for I don't know how many years. This. The woman showed little class and little respect for op. If a girl started bragging and acting entitled on a date with me, she would soon find herself at dinner alone...and at best shed be a fwb but never gf material. And I likely wouldn't want to smash anyways
mercuryshadow Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 All of the obvious red flags about this scenario aside, I just have to say this: she sounds like a completely awful human being.
Babolat Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 That's what I thought too, which is why I kept flirting with her and asked if I could come in. When she said no, she still gave me a kiss on the lips (she initiated) and texted me before I got home. I disagree. I had a woman say this to me from OLD when we first met. I drove 90 minutes to meet her at a bar/restaurant. After about a half an house she said something like "You know you are not staying the night with me?". Which of course I already knew and had no plans to stay in her town.
Babolat Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 You would think a 42-year-old would not be realistically viewing a 25-year-old as relationship material. You would be wrong. Research shows that women doing OLD gravitate towards younger men, especially if they're 40+. I know plenty of women who feel that because they exercise, dye their hair, and "look young for their age," deserve a guy 5, 10 or even 15 years younger. And not just as a playmate, but as a long-term partner.. I saw this ALL the time on OLD, on womens profiles. Women in their mid 40s where their age range was 22 - 50. I never messaged them. Even saw a few who specifically wrote in their profile "do not message me if you are older than <insert age>" My best female friend is 46, and her OLD profile is similar. She likes younger men because they can keep up with her, so she says. I have been trying to encourage her to stop going after the younger men for a LTR, find someone closer to her own age, she knows, she agrees, than meets a 25 year old last week! She recently met a boy who was 30, they did everything but sex, and she discovered he had a gf. Oh well. She said prior to knowing about the gf she would have had sex with him as he was "hot". OP, who knows what this womans intentions were; really, only she does, and we can all have fun guessing. Maybe she did want sex and something turned her off; it happens. Her inviting you to her house, to pick her up, first OLD meeting, is VERY odd/strange, for me at least. And may suggest, yeah, she was looking for sex. I would never do that, I meet in a public place. My brother on the other hand, has doen this, and they never left the house, and yes there was sex. It amazes me that happens. They have even come to his place for the first meet up.
Author Mark1 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Posted February 1, 2014 So, uhh I guess I should get her out of my mind and not text her? Or, text her and see if she straight up wants to have sex? What's the worst that happens, she says no?
kaylan Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 So, uhh I guess I should get her out of my mind and not text her? Or, text her and see if she straight up wants to have sex? What's the worst that happens, she says no? Don't be desperate, move on. For your own self respect, you shouldn't want to deal with her after her behavior.
jcrew11 Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 You have a lot to learn about women She wanted to be ravished alright. It's a little game, 'I'm not that kind of girl', 'don't come up to my place' then she kissed him at the door. She wanted a young attractive body pushed against hers trying to convince her to give in. Maybe she wouldn't have then but she would have next time. Believe me, I know how this works Um, nope. I'm 41 and no disrespect to 25 year-olds, I love them but they are rarely relationship material for someone my age. Not saying it doesn't happen but older women are realistic. We know this sort of thing is usually for fun. Especially when she is affluent, likes money and he can't offer any of those things. A 42 year-old woman won't kiss a guy on her own doorstep unless she wants to f**k him. I'd like to find any woman in her 40s here who has ever initiated a kiss with a man she didn't want to have sex with. I kinda agree with this. This 42 yr old woman is looking for sex and not a relationship. She might just have enjoyed the ego boost of going out with a 25 year old. But she might also want a confident/mature/aggressive man to take charge and ravish her. Of course its illegal to sexually assault a woman against her will. But at the same time, it seems that women don't want meek, shy nice guys who run away. Women want a confident guy who can take charge and lead a woman. It doesn't matter the man's age. Any young man can date any woman if he is super-confident, assertive, and sexually confident. Don't give her a reason to "x" you, make yourself into a guy that she can't resist and can't live without. Make her beg to see you again. Make her believe that her life will be better off if she dates you.
jcrew11 Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 So, uhh I guess I should get her out of my mind and not text her? Or, text her and see if she straight up wants to have sex? What's the worst that happens, she says no? Why not text her - its not like you or her have anything else to do. Just be sexually confident, and also self-confident. She might give hints if she wants a discrete hookup. But it might also help if there is a reason to meet again - like there's a fun wine tasting, movie, or whatever concert, etc. event is going on and you want to go with her.
antonio1149 Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 I kinda agree with this. This 42 yr old woman is looking for sex and not a relationship. She told him during the date she didn't want sex. She didn't invite him in after kissing him. She texted him saying she didn't want to see him again. How much more proof do you folks need to see that she didn't want to have sex with him?
kaylan Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 She told him during the date she didn't want sex. She didn't invite him in after kissing him. She texted him saying she didn't want to see him again. How much more proof do you folks need to see that she didn't want to have sex with him? You have much to learn. I've had women say that and then later we have sex anyway.
antonio1149 Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 You have much to learn. I've had women say that and then later we have sex anyway. You had sex after they told you they didn't want it, wouldn't enter a private quarters with you, and refused to see you again? That's quite a feat--please share with us how you did it.
kaylan Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 You had sex after they told you they didn't want it, wouldn't enter a private quarters with you, and refused to see you again? That's quite a feat--please share with us how you did it. I've had sex with girls who said we wouldn't be having sex that night. Its not some big feat. All I did was kiss them and continue to escalate, or tease enough so they actually jumped me. Sometimes things stopped at foreplay and sometimes they didn't stop there.
jcrew11 Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 You had sex after they told you they didn't want it, wouldn't enter a private quarters with you, and refused to see you again? That's quite a feat--please share with us how you did it. Girls will say they don't have sex because it puts too much pressure on her to put out, and she doesn't want the guy to be pushy. But the key for any confident guy is to not get angry, run away and give up. If you have a confident personality and play hard to get, where you reject the girl first by friend-zoning her, then that plays up her jealousy emotions. If the guy is interesting and has a good personality, then he becomes irresistible to her, and she will change her mind. Girls don't want whiny desperate horny losers just looking for sex. They want strong confident men, who don't need to a girl. Both men and women can play hard to get, and it works. 2
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