Mark1 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I met a beautiful 42 year old from OKCupid on Saturday night. She is a model. I don't say that to brag, but rather to note that she is probably way out of my league, just to give anyone who wants to give me some advice some idea. She agrees to let me pick her up, and gives me her address. I walk in and she says, "so you finally get to meet me, huh?" This sort of teasing went on the rest of the night, which I thought was a good sign. A lot of playful banter both ways, and a lot of straight up just making fun/teasing me. We drive to the bar in her car (which she mentioned was $65k, which I thought was weird to mention, #1) and on the way there she tells me how she went on a date with a guy who didn't pay for dinner and she thought it was very rude and didn't see him a second date. I was intending on paying anyway, but I figure that was her telling me I'd better pay (#2). She also said something to the effect of, "just so you know, some people might call me high maintenance, but I just like nice things. I like quality, nice things, and I like to look and feel good." I chalked that up as weird thing #3. We get to the bar and the conversation is going great, but she explicitly told me she's not ready for any light touching of her hand or leg. The conversation continues, and out of the blue she says, "you know were not having sex, right?" I was totally caught of guard, managed to say something witty, and not seem desperate. Another weird thing to say, IMO. She also started telling me how many guys on OKCupid she rejects and and stuff like that. Finally, she says something to the effect of, "you know, if I have sex with a guy on the first date, I probably don't like him. I'm done with casual sex, I want to build a connection first etc etc" We drove home after almost 3 hours at the bar. I walked her to her door. I asked if I could come in, and she straight up said, "No." (I respected her honesty). I went in for a hug. I was going to kiss her on the cheek to play it safe, but she went for my lips. So, that was awesome. She turned around, walked into her house, and yelled back "text me!" I had a wonderful time, but the whole night it felt like she was trying to prove herself to me. Almost to prove to me she was the one in control. ------- Fastfoward to Monday night: She texted me saying, "Hey, I've been thinking, and we are just in different places in our life, and looking for different things. It was great meeting you, but I'm going to have to pass. Take care." I replied, "I am disappointed but thank you for being honest. I had a wonderful time meeting you. I wish you and your daughter well." And she said, "Thanks for being a good guy." ------ What the heck happened? Any way I can get her to change her mind? 1
Aero-el Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Damn, I know it sucks, man, I'm in something similar myself. It's funny how she says the last guy she went out with that didn't pay, she didn't see him a second time. YOU PAID and she's not seeing you a second time. Ain't this something? "We're not having sex tonight", typically, is a code for you to have sex with her. Unless she's pepper spraying you in the face while saying it, I believe the man is suppose to have sex with her that night. You didn't. And then she texted you all that blah blah "thanks for being a good guy" crap. This is the result. Unless she gets her memories wiped clean, I don't think you can revive this one. 2
Thegreatestthing Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 She sees herself as really valuable because of her beauty likely and tells you pretty blatantly that she expects gifts and other monetary testimonies of her high value,she expects to be kept up,you didn't seem to understand thus concept and just refer to it as weird, so she ditched you. 2
SmartDude Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I have always wanted to meet a woman like you are describing.... So that I can throw my drink in her face. 8
Babolat Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I met a beautiful 42 year old from OKCupid on Saturday night. She is a model. I don't say that to brag, but rather to note that she is probably way out of my league, just to give anyone who wants to give me some advice some idea. She agrees to let me pick her up, and gives me her address. I walk in and she says, "so you finally get to meet me, huh?" This sort of teasing went on the rest of the night, which I thought was a good sign. A lot of playful banter both ways, and a lot of straight up just making fun/teasing me. We drive to the bar in her car (which she mentioned was $65k, which I thought was weird to mention, #1) and on the way there she tells me how she went on a date with a guy who didn't pay for dinner and she thought it was very rude and didn't see him a second date. I was intending on paying anyway, but I figure that was her telling me I'd better pay (#2). She also said something to the effect of, "just so you know, some people might call me high maintenance, but I just like nice things. I like quality, nice things, and I like to look and feel good." I chalked that up as weird thing #3. We get to the bar and the conversation is going great, but she explicitly told me she's not ready for any light touching of her hand or leg. The conversation continues, and out of the blue she says, "you know were not having sex, right?" I was totally caught of guard, managed to say something witty, and not seem desperate. Another weird thing to say, IMO. She also started telling me how many guys on OKCupid she rejects and and stuff like that. Finally, she says something to the effect of, "you know, if I have sex with a guy on the first date, I probably don't like him. I'm done with casual sex, I want to build a connection first etc etc" We drove home after almost 3 hours at the bar. I walked her to her door. I asked if I could come in, and she straight up said, "No." (I respected her honesty). I went in for a hug. I was going to kiss her on the cheek to play it safe, but she went for my lips. So, that was awesome. She turned around, walked into her house, and yelled back "text me!" I had a wonderful time, but the whole night it felt like she was trying to prove herself to me. Almost to prove to me she was the one in control. ------- Fastfoward to Monday night: She texted me saying, "Hey, I've been thinking, and we are just in different places in our life, and looking for different things. It was great meeting you, but I'm going to have to pass. Take care." I replied, "I am disappointed but thank you for being honest. I had a wonderful time meeting you. I wish you and your daughter well." And she said, "Thanks for being a good guy." ------ What the heck happened? Any way I can get her to change her mind? Interesting to say the least. I'm on OKCupid too, send me her profile url! Sounds like she has some issues, probably emotional stuff from being s good looking model type her entire life. The picking her up at her house was odd. I have never done that, would never even suggest it. Lots of red flags, you are right. My guess is you looked past those because of her looks. Been there, done that. She was cool though to tell you it was not going to work and not just disappearing. She may have met someone else too.
winny Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 You are better off without her... she is crazy.
Eau Claire Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Aren't you the poster obsessed with 'cougars' ? How old are you?
Author Mark1 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 Aren't you the poster obsessed with 'cougars' ? How old are you? I'm 25.................
Author Mark1 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 "We're not having sex tonight", typically, is a code for you to have sex with her. Unless she's pepper spraying you in the face while saying it, I believe the man is suppose to have sex with her that night. You didn't. That's what I thought too, which is why I kept flirting with her and asked if I could come in. When she said no, she still gave me a kiss on the lips (she initiated) and texted me before I got home.
Author Mark1 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 (edited) My last GF was 42. I don't think its immaturity as it is lack of dating experience. Edited February 4, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
TXGuy Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 She told you she was 'pay to play', at least for nice guys. Though, if you were smooth enough and had good enough game, she would have had sex with you that night. First, you didn't give her the 'tingles'; you were not mr smooth. Second, you didn't signal high provisioning (subtle offers of gifts or travel). So, she decided to move on to her next mark. You are much better off letting this one go. Don't even try to reel her back in (it won't work, anyway). 1
Author Mark1 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 She told you she was 'pay to play', at least for nice guys. Though, if you were smooth enough and had good enough game, she would have had sex with you that night. First, you didn't give her the 'tingles'; you were not mr smooth. Second, you didn't signal high provisioning (subtle offers of gifts or travel). So, she decided to move on to her next mark. You are much better off letting this one go. Don't even try to reel her back in (it won't work, anyway). What do you mean?
Imported Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I'm 25................. It all makes sense now. She treated you like a kid that needs to learn. Also, when a girl says "I don't do that..." it usually means as a matter of fact, she does do that. You just need to give her the proper reasoning/excuse for her to do that. You need to step up.
SJC2008 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 So you're bumbed you didn't get a second date from a narcissistic, (possible) control freak?
Author Mark1 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 It all makes sense now. She treated you like a kid that needs to learn. Also, when a girl says "I don't do that..." it usually means as a matter of fact, she does do that. You just need to give her the proper reasoning/excuse for her to do that. You need to step up. how should i have played this?
Imported Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 how should i have played this? If I had to guess, she was looking to get laid that night. You're 25, admittedly less attractive than her and probably not financially well off. Guessing not overweight, maybe even some muscles? She drives a $65k car....let me guess...Mercedes? She likes the "nice things in life" and pampers herself. She wants you to pay. Look, I am pretty sure she thinks of you as a kid, but she wants to be treated like a lady by a man. You might not think you're that attractive, but what kinda shape are you in compared to guys her age? I think she was coaching you along in some stupid way, but you didn't take charge. I think she was looking for a bull to **** her well, but you came off too timid. I think she purposely went with you for sex, but then decided you would just bore her in bed. I think you should have been aggressive in what you want. Treat her well like I am sure you were, but invade her space, get near her. Grab her hand, rub her palm...some kinda non-sexual physical contact because I would lay odds that she is starving for that. You should have lead the conversation, don't let her get weird. Get her talking about things she likes (not her kid), lean in and smile at her. Get her in her happy place. Talk about something you like; show strentgh, show passion. Show in some way that you are good at sex. 1
KathyTeran Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I would definitely move on from this woman, there are many people out there.
TXGuy Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 From post #13: what do you mean? (You didn't give her the tingles). Simply put, you didn't make her hot for you. There is no way to tell exactly without being there. But she is accustomed to dating players/alphas. These guys, through either natural charisma or studying pus/game techniques, know how to get a woman's motor going and then close the deal at the end. Basically, seduction. So, while she was up for getting nailed by a young stud that night, your game did not measure up to her standards and she blew you off. There is a decent chance she called one of the preferred guys from her stable to service her that night. There is nothing you can do to get back in with this one. If you like, you can study game/pua tactics to use in the future. It sounds like you are already familiar with many of the strategies, but you are not a natural. You just need more practice (if you want to go down that road).
BradJacobs Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Any way I can get her to change her mind? Why would you want to? She seems like a lot of drama and maintenance.
Author Mark1 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 From post #13: what do you mean? (You didn't give her the tingles). Simply put, you didn't make her hot for you. There is no way to tell exactly without being there. But she is accustomed to dating players/alphas. These guys, through either natural charisma or studying pus/game techniques, know how to get a woman's motor going and then close the deal at the end. Basically, seduction. So, while she was up for getting nailed by a young stud that night, your game did not measure up to her standards and she blew you off. There is a decent chance she called one of the preferred guys from her stable to service her that night. There is nothing you can do to get back in with this one. If you like, you can study game/pua tactics to use in the future. It sounds like you are already familiar with many of the strategies, but you are not a natural. You just need more practice (if you want to go down that road). Thanks. I teased her a bit, and touched her, I just should have done it more. There was one time, when I lightly reached for her hand, and she didn't reciprocate. She said, "I'm just not ready for that yet," whatever that means. I'm confused as to why she kissed me if I wasn't up to par. I went for her cheek and she pulled me into her lips.
Author Mark1 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 So I can't text her again and try to get her to change her mind, right?
jcrew11 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 So I can't text her again and try to get her to change her mind, right? I think you might get a second chance if she's not doing anything else. But basically hot women on dating sites can pick any guy they want and can date a different guy every night of the week. From the sounds of it, and your young age - she would want you as a ToyBoy to just have sex with, and one night hookups. If she is a snobby model, then I think she would only have a relationship or marry a Sugar Daddy. She wants to meet a rich guy to take care of her and buy her diamonds and expensive cars. So, you might have a 2nd chance with her if you Spoil her and buy her gifts and take her to expensive dinners. But I think she is out of your tax bracket and wants a rich old guy.
NYSean Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I have to be honest, I love dating women like this because they are so easy to break. In my experience, almost 90% of these types of women are insecure and NOT happy with their lives. She is in her 40's and she is single, she dates young men to feel young. She flaunts her "wealth" because other than that she feel she has no value. You should've just acted completely nonchalant on the date and give her the feeling that if she's there wasting your time you can move on to a YOUNGER girl who will provide you with everything she offers except that she'd be younger and more fertile. You need to use her age as a weapon. If she wants to brag about her 86k Mercedes, I would've just said "why did you need to bring that up? You feel inadequate in other areas of your life?" You should've asked her why in God's name would she bring up a story about a guy not paying for a first date. I would've just said "are you poor, are you here to use your aging looks to freeload? There are a dime a dozen beautiful women that don't even require half of the BS you're saying so I think you need to sit down and behave. Why can't she give you even one ounce of affection, you're taking care of her evening, the least she could do is hold your damn hand. If she wasn't going to comply I would've just told her to GTFO cause I rather go to a bar next door and find someone younger with less-droopy tits. Sooo yeah this is the approach I'd take with women like her and they almost ALWAYS end up sticking around trying to prove their self-worth to me. The most important thing is to NOT get suckered in by her appearance. And you shouldn't -- she's 40 something years old and she's being desperate trying to keep up with the younger women. LOL it's so pathetic. 2
Imported Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I'm confused as to why she kissed me if I wasn't up to par. I went for her cheek and she pulled me into her lips. So you are at her doorsteps with her door open. You go in to kiss her on the cheeks and instead she pulls you towards her and kisses you on the mouth. Then you turn around and walk away to post on Loveshack how she confused you. That was your second chance. I don't understand what was confusing about that. Hand immediately on her vag, but I can be crude sometimes 1
deathandtaxes Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 So I can't text her again and try to get her to change her mind, right? Count your lucky stars you can't. She will break you. She's looking for a young stud to buy her pretty things and then plow her field.
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