No Limit Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Hello everyone, I'm pretty new to this forum section and to be honest, I had hoped I'd never have to post in here. A few weeks ago a friend from school (he graduated last year already, I'll this year) contacted me again and asked to hang out at the local club with a few friends. Since half of my friend circle is there on a regular basis I didn't mind at all and agreed. A day later a female friend of mine tells me to be careful, that this guy was looking for a girlfriend. I think I have underestimated the situation; while we chatted during recess in school it was hard to keep conversations alive with him. We could talk about games for a while but sooner or later he tried to impress with how much alcohol he could drink etc, which isn't really the best topic for me cause I barely drink at all and when I do I do it responsibly. I don't need hangovers. Turned out my friend was right though; I received a message with him asking me if I liked him and to answer honestly. I was a bit surprised, him asking me to be honest felt like he already knew he'd be rejected, but I answered him anyway saying I had no romantic feelings for him and that I was sorry. He answered with "Nevermind, I was just drunk when I wrote that, ha ha". Yeah, right... Weekend came and we went to the club, and I already felt like something was... different. He seemed more distant and after entering the club I only saw him once for a couple of seconds before he went to the bar and apparently stayed there. The band was good and over time I didn't think much of it, a few buddies of mine seperated also from the group and came every now and then, there's just too many folks to talk to. Later though me and a few ladyfriends were approached by a pretty drunk guy who gave us some drinks. Conversation with him was barely possible, his speech slurred, just too drunk. We went to the dancefloor and later on stage to the DJs (I know the guy who runs the club), and after a few stressed weeks with exams I felt this time out was something I really needed. Eventually I danced with the drunk guy and it was all pretty relaxed and cool, I didn't mind the guy 'laying hand on me' either and even had my first kiss with him. (No regrets! ) But like I said, this was on stage. All my friends noticed, most were happy for me, but not the guy who had probably wanted me to be his girlfriend. I left like an hour afterwards, but my female friends informed me that he had drunk himself to unconsciousness afterwards. He also hasn't messaged me ever since. I feel terrible. How could I have been so ignorant, careless? I thought that clearly saying that I felt not the same way as him was enough, but of course it doesn't work that way. It just sounds so unrealistic. Except for games we have little in common, we haven't even seen each other since he's graduated because he lives miles away and probably won't get a car within the next years. Should I talk to him, or just leave him be? I feel like I owe him an explanation, but he seems to want to play it cool. Maybe I should just shut up. Advise, anyone? On a sidenote; I'm almost 18, he's almost 19.
preraph Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 You were honest with him. He knew the answer before he asked it. Please don't get in the habit of feeling so guilty every time you reject someone that you make up with them because that's going to get you in trouble. It will only give them false hope, and if they are a certain type, they may become obsessed. "Women who can't say no attract men who won't let go." You said no. He handled it as well as anyone ever does. Please just drop it and both of you can move on. He will get over it. 1
Author No Limit Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 You were honest with him. He knew the answer before he asked it. Please don't get in the habit of feeling so guilty every time you reject someone that you make up with them because that's going to get you in trouble. It will only give them false hope, and if they are a certain type, they may become obsessed. "Women who can't say no attract men who won't let go." You said no. He handled it as well as anyone ever does. Please just drop it and both of you can move on. He will get over it. Yeah, you're right. I didn't intend to write anything like "maybe someday" like many seem to do, but leaving him in the rain just didn't feel completely right either. Guess I just didn't want to give him a pure cold shoulder, we're friends after all and hopefully still are. I heard that he'd just gotten out of his very first relationship so maybe that's the whole reason for this. Maybe things will get easier once he finds a new partner.
preraph Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 Well, if he just broke up with someone, his motives with you might have not been the best. He might have been on the rebound, you know, trying to show her and himself he can find another woman. Just let him chill and get through this on his own. 1
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