insert sad username Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I don't know what to do anymore, it seems everyday is the same old thing and there is no escaping it..I feel alone at all times. I'm a full time student at my university and I don't seem to connect with anyone in my classes. I somehow get through the day and drive back home in silence just thinking about her. Today was kinda rough for me, I was sitting alone in the cafeteria (as always) and I guess i couldn't hold the pain inside no longer..so I started to cry a little as I look down this sorry meal I was eating..luckily I managed to control my emotions and simply wiped my tears...This NC seems to break me down more, a part of me wants to pour my heart out one last time in hopes she would see me for who I truly am and accept me into her life again. I stop myself from doing this but the thought always linger behind my mind..I catch myself thinking about random memories we shared together and what scares me the most is that my birthday is coming up next week..I fear she would not even bother to reach out and wish me a happy birthday..I know everyone would probably say that expect her not to since it's over and she is no longer part of my life but I can't let it go. I know for my birthday I'm just going to be lying in bed waiting for her...the thought of it happening or not makes my heart race..
JDPT Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I can certainly resonate with how you feel but I guarantee you that in time and much effort set forth on your behalf that the pain will eventually subside. I don't know how I manage to finish my last semester but I did and thankfully with all As. I am not at 8 months post BU and I'm a totally different man. I do recall the times when tears would just start rolling down my cheeks in public and I would nonchalantly wipe them off. Be strong and know that this pain will pass. Focus on yourself as you are the only person that matter from this point forward. Allow the past to remain stagnant where it belong. Continue to propel forward, you are the only one who can do this no one else will. 2
firefly2613 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 I'm a full-time student as well and I can definitely relate to how you feel. It's awful right now but please know the painful days and moments will become less and less. Try your best to let people in. They can surprise you with their support.
btvdts Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Try to be busy on your birthday. Maybe leave your cell phone at home. my birthday was a week after my BU. I thought for sure I'd at least get a text Bc it was so close to the BU, but I never did. she told me I was amazing, great guy blah blah during the bu, and after that...nothing. Point is, no matter what Happens, the moment after the bu he/she doesn't owe us anything. does it hurt like hell? Hell yes, but If you wait around hoping for something, then you are only letting yourself down. How do I know this? Bc I waited around on my birthday and let Myself down.
Conners Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Plan something for your birthday. Make sure you do something.. Go out for lunch/dinner with some friends and family! Don't lay around moping in bed. It's probably the worst thing you can do.. I've been doing it lately and it just makes me feel even more depressed. I hope you feel better soon. 2
Author insert sad username Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 thanks everyone for your comforting words, I really have no one else to talk to about stuff like this..I def. don't want my family to think I'm still hurting over this because they have seen me at my worst and have been highly concerned about me lately, they think I'm over her at this point since they see me going back to my daily routines but I also hide a lot pain from them. I still don't know what to think at this point, if she will ever reach out or not. I just want it to pass already...
firefly2613 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 You can talk to us as often as you like! If I knew you in real life this is the part where we would go get a few drinks and bond over how badly our exes treated us. Hang in there. Feel free to send me a private message if you're ever feeling real down.
Loempia741 Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 I know what you mean mate.. I'm a student and it's been 7 months post-breakup and I'm still hurting over her. I suggest you go get some professional help.. This much pain and loneliness isn't healthy anymore and might have other causes.. At least that's my guess. I'm going no contact right now and scheduled an appointment with a therapist. Sometimes whe have to admit to ourselves that we have certain issues we need to battle. Also get out and try your hard to find the energy to interest yourself in other people! Hang there buddy, know that you are not alone and that months from now you will be in a better place
gothicrose Posted February 1, 2014 Posted February 1, 2014 I agree with the others, plan something for your birthday - can you take a trio to a nearby city you haven't visited before or look up a nice walk route and g fr a nice long stroll? Leave your phone switched off on your birthday, get out and appreciate nature. Take in the sights, sounds, smells.... It always helps me.
Author insert sad username Posted February 5, 2014 Author Posted February 5, 2014 Birthday is 3 days away and I get very sad the moment I lay in bed thinking if she will reach out or not. A part of me wants to text her something simple so I can be in her thoughts (pathetic I know). I wonder if I ever cross her mind at all lately..
guest572 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 That is terrible, please dont lie in bed all day.. Do you have some friends or family to spend it with? I would write up a schedule for the day and put a ridiculous amount of things on there. Go to the cinema, go to the shops and be out in public, get a massage, take a walk, just anything you can think of to keep your mind off things, and put your phone on silent and out of reach if possible. I know keeping busy is probably the last thing you want to do but you will need to make yourself. Get a friend to help you out with this, dont suffer alone. Please take care.
Jord11 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 I know how you feel man, my birthday just passed (Jan 11) I've been in no contact with my ex over a year now did I hear anything from my ex not one word it sucked it hurt but you know what I got through it, that's how much I really meant too her after all I did, push through it I know the exact feeling of how you're feeling right now, have fun on you're birthday it's you're day after it's done and if you didn't hear anything from her you will feel like you won you battled through it and another door closed who knows maybe down the road she will make contact and wish you that belated birthday but you never know, I wish you the best and be strong
sadpanda87 Posted February 5, 2014 Posted February 5, 2014 im really sorry about how you feel. i definitely understand you. it's especially bad if she was very involved with your daily routines. dont break NC, find things to do that you enjoy. this is the part where you need to be strong and do what's best for you. exercise, make new friends, there will be someone new for you once you crawl out of this pit i promise. hang in there bud, im still crawling as well.
Author insert sad username Posted February 7, 2014 Author Posted February 7, 2014 Not a single word from her today..just as I thought
Author insert sad username Posted February 8, 2014 Author Posted February 8, 2014 part of me wants to curse her out through text..
emi Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 His dumping me really screwed me over. My schooling failed fast with me trying my best to restraint it. But my mind wouldnt let go of the thought about him so i can really study. im regret got in the relationships. and now after 6 months of NC. Im still having a hard time getting over him. Ghosh, I dont think i will get in any relationship again until i finish all my academic life
Itspointless Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 Not a single word from her today..just as I thought Well I do not know if it will be better if it happens I got my birthday-wish last month at almost ten in the evening. It made me happy and sad at the same time. No matter if you hear anything happy birthday man! I wish you a great new year.
JDPT Posted February 8, 2014 Posted February 8, 2014 I can certainly resonate with this. I have no clue how I made it through my very last semester. It was almost perfect timing, my ex broke u with me and I here I was at the very last semester giving it my all, luckily and with much effort set forth I managed to earn As in all my classes, but what torture it was. You are very needy you need validation from others, kind words, gestures to help you get though. But keep in mind that you are now this stand alone unit that must fend for yourself. Allow yourself to heal and be gentle don't rush the healing process. Focus on what actually matters at this point which is school, and know that nothing remain stagnant, absolutely nothing and neither will you. You will come out of this a new and improved you.
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